It's a new year, ladies and gentlemen! And you know what that means: It's time for some tales of drunken debauchery. Yours truly happened to spend the night in an English pub smack dab in the middle of London's East End, so you can only imagine what I had the pleasure of seeing (and trust me when I say it was a blast).
But some people take it too far, becoming drunk to the point of either passing out or losing entire blocks of time. That's never fun, as we were so clearly reminded once Redditor Grump_Monk asked the online community "What is something you did while black out drunk that you still to this day cannot believe you did?"
"Apparently..."
Apparently i drank a red Gatorade from the fridge and later threw up in the bathtub and my roommates thought I was throwing up blood. Of course no one called 911 lol instead they decided to wait till the morning and ask "bro was that blood?"
"For some reason..."
For some reason, my friend wanted to show that he could do a lot of squats. We both pulled our pants down next to his fire pit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and did a lot of squats.
I didn't remember this, so I woke up terrified by how sore I was from bowling before the drinking started.
I honestly spent all week having a crisis about "This is it. I'm getting old and my body can't handle physical activity." Then my friend told me his gf kept teasing him about us doing squats with our pants around our ankles, and I freaked out like "Aaahhh yes! I'm not getting old yet! I can still do things!"
"I once..."
I once crapped on a cop car, there was dashcam footage released looking for any info on who it might be and I recognized my hat and sweatshirt.
"A guy said..."
Giphyallegedly i was saying something and spat while i was talking. A guy said "aye bro you just spit on me" and instead of apologizing like i would any other time i said "i spit on all my b!tches". Then the fight started.
"Girlfriend at the time..."
Threw up on a band in Nashville during a live show.
Girlfriend at the time needed to find an ATM so I drunkenly followed her. When she found one, I sat on the concrete against a metal railing. I knew I was going to be sick so I stuck my head through the railing and vomited my heart out.
What I didn't realize was that it was actually about a 15 foot drop between me and the concrete. Where a band was playing...with an entire audience watching.
"I still can't..."
Punched my friend right in the face. Apparently I said I would, then he said "you won't" so I did.
I still can't believe it.
"I got on a stranger's..."
i got on a stranger's parked motorcycle and pretended like i was riding it. then the owner came up and asked me if i wanted to go for a ride. so we went for a ride around the city. it was fun but could have ended very differently.
"Told my then gf..."
Told my then gf (now wife) at her own birthday party at volume in front of a few other friends that we were leaving because "I wanna bang". This is way out of character. I'm a real introvert and quiet.
Then when she got me home I threw up all over our bed.
Woke up in bed with a towel under me and a blanket on top with no idea what had happened but I knew it must be bad.
Weirdly she forgave me really quickly.
"I ridiculously drunk..."
One of the guys in my group of friends was dating a girl. They had been together awhile, and the rest of us weren't crazy about her. Maybe because we were all young (early 20s) and he was the first one of us with a serious relationship and so we didn't see him as often.
I got ridiculously drunk at a party, and ended up declaring my love for some girl I had just met, then passing out in the bathroom on the floor with the dogs. I was found at some point, and people were amused at my expense. My friend's girlfriend, rather than mocking me, helped me out. She took me upstairs, gave me some water, and put me to bed. Before passing out again I said something along the lines of "you're really awesome, I don't know why everyone says you're a b!tch."
We didn't see our friend much for awhile. Eventually things smoothed over. They got married and I was invited, so no permanent damage done. Still, I couldn't believe I said something so stupid. I've also never gotten that drunk again.
"I was 18..."
I was 18 and living with some friends on a farm house in the country, as one of the few people in my social group living alone, we tended to throw some solid parties. I woke up one Sunday morning and my shoulders, back, and hands were killing me. I had a few serious blisters on my hands and had no clue where they had come from. I went downstairs, and there had to be 15 or so people passed out all over the living room, dining room, and kitchen. I woke up a friend of mine and asked him why everyone was still here.
He groggily tells me that I wouldn't let anyone drive home drunk, so I had chopped down a tree, and it had fallen across the long driveway to the road. I walked about 50 yards down the driveway, and sure enough, I had chopped down a tree somewhere around 1 or 2 am, and it fell straight across the drive, blocking anyone from going home. I had to walk a few miles down the road to our nearest neighbor and ask him very nicely if he would be willing to bring his tractor over to our place and pull a tree out of the driveway. An hour an a half later, my friends all left in a conga line of cars 10 deep.