High school sweethearts are just the bee's knees.
And if you married your prom date and had kids, let's just hope you and your honey are equally responsible with parenting duties.
It takes two to tango.
Because nothing says marital-miss like a reward chart for a grown man.
A picture of a chart surfaced online where a mother is rewarding daddy with stickers to assist with parenting chores. And the internet is dry-heaving a little.
"Daddy's Sticker Chart" includes reminders such as "wash dishes," "put toilet seat down," "change blowout diaper," "bathe the rug rats" and "clean throw up" among other tasks.
The accumulation of six stickers for "pack the kids' lunches, for example, earns daddy a "1 get out of the dog house free card."
But perhaps the bigger reward is for when her husband cleans up vomit for the sixth time, she shall reward her man with a "BJ."
And no, the reward is not tickets to see Bon Jovi in concert.
Yup, wifey is trading parenting requirements for oral sex, and suddenly, everyone is gagging.
S**t Bootlickers Say/Facebook
In marriage, we all have our arrangements, I suppose.
But this chart is making the internet throw up a little – which can be good news for daddy.
S**t Bootlickers Say/Facebook
People are mortified over the juvenile arrangement that subverts the traditional expectation that the man you marry will help raise a family with you.
@ChrisTweetsLLC/Twitter
S**t Bootlickers Say/Facebook
S**t Bootlickers Say/Facebook
Metro Lifestyle Editor, Ellen Scott, commented that new relationships come with new responsibilities in addition to taking care of one another.
"It shouldn't be the case that all of your adult responsibilities get shifted on to your significant other, because you're still supposed to be an adult."
But she goes on to say that oftentimes the man becomes the woman's responsibility in a new heterosexual relationship.
"It's her job to make him a better man, to 'provide' for him in terms of domestic tasks such as cooking and cleaning (because these are the women's jobs, right?), to make sure he's still existing as an adult."
She argued that this is not an example of equality and called out the unfairness of women putting in the energy of having to look after her man in addition to taking care of herself.
She gave an assessment based on the kind of relationship she and plenty of others have no time for.
"If your partner needs to be nagged, promised rewards, or given stickers so they'll do basic tasks, you're not dating a man – you're dating an overgrown child who simply doesn't care about your needs."
Twitter made other observations over the rewards options.
@Wecknerd/Twitter
Surely this can't be real.
@ndkirschmann/Twitter
With some sleuthing, Joseph Clemmer unearthed the original post by Baby Sideburns and wrote on Facebook:
"I really hope this is a sad attempt to be funny."
Joseph Clemmer/Facebook
Joseph Clemmer/Facebook
Joseph Clemmer/Facebook
Satire or not, the rewards chart concept took a nosedive.
S**t Bootlickers Say/Facebook
Finally, Scott called out the chart's sexism.
"Needing and expecting to be mothered is a form of sexism."
"It's the idea that women have to be the nurturing, caring ones in a partnership, taking care of the man so that he can go ahead and do manly things, which relies on the assumption that women have nothing better to do than drag a manchild into adulthood at the expense of their own emotional well-being."
So, who's laughing?
if you have someone who needs a chore chart (hopefully a toddler), the I Did It! chore chart is available here with a variety of accomplishments to adapt to greater responsibilities.
@JohnShoraka/X
@gardengirl125/X
@MeidasTouch/X
@MeidasTouch/X 