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Mom Asks If She's In The Wrong For Not Wanting To Share Her Food With Her 4-Year-Old Daughter After A Rough Day

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Moms have it really hard sometimes.

Their spouse may not want to help out with their child or when they return to work and then come home, they may need a little peace and will find none.

For one mom, that meant being able to eat her dinner alone, but even that was impossible.


Reddit user "fatdogluvr5" is a mom and of course loves her four-year-old girl. But when she came home after a particularly stressful day at work, she hoped her husband would help and preoccupy their child while she had a quiet dinner in their bedroom.

It seems, at least on that particular day, that was too much to ask for, however. Instead of having a relaxing and serene dinner from her favorite restaurant, she was instead bombarded with requests to share her dinner.

When she asked for a little backup from her husband, he surprised her and instead supported his daughter's desire to share food, instead of respecting and reinforcing his wife's boundaries.

The Reddit mom later shared her story on the "Am I the A$$hole?" subReddit, trying to understand if she was in the wrong for wanting a little peace and quiet after a particularly hard day.

You can read her full story here:

"My husband and I have a 4 year old. I love her to pieces, she's my lil potato, but every parent knows the struggle of having to share everything you eat with your kid. Whenever she sees me eating, she wants some. 99.9% of the time I share with her because it's not a huge deal."
"Today I had an awful day at work, so I picked up some food from my favorite restaurant on the way home. I just wanted to lay down and enjoy my fries. I try to hide it but kiddo barges into the room and wants my food. This time I didn't feel like sharing with her, so I told her no."
"Kiddo gets increasingly upset, starts crying and throwing a tantrum, but I just tell her that mommy had a rough day and she can eat one of her snacks in the cupboard if she's hungry (she'd already eaten dinner), and try to explain that people don't always have to share with her. I remain totally calm and try to leave the room."
"Husband comes in and gets mad that I'm not sharing and causing our kid to have a meltdown. I'm like seriously? Can I just enjoy my favorite food in peace after a rough day? Apparently not and I'm an a$hole for not sharing!"
"Long story short, kid ends up getting my fries and I end up crying in the bathroom feeling like an awful mom for being angry about it. My husband says that it's 'not a big deal to share' and says I'm an a$$hole for not sharing."
"He told me that kids are better at sharing than I am. I told him that I deserve to enjoy one meal by myself in the comfort of my bed after having a godawful day and we don't want to teach our daughter that she gets whatever she wants when she wants it."
"So now we're both angry at each other."
"AITA here?"
"[edited to add]: My husband and daughter had already eaten right before I came home. I asked my husband to keep our daughter out of the bedroom but she got in anyways."

Reddit users came out in droves, all sharing in the mutual importance of teaching children boundaries from a young age.

"NTA - kids need to learn limits and boundaries and she is by far old enough to understand. Your husband taught her that throwing a tantrum gets her whatever she wants... good luck with that. Kids cry and get upset, doesn't mean you do anything to quiet them down and keep the peace. It means you teach them to manage their emotions and learn empathy." - likeitsnotyourjob
"Also 'sharing is caring' doesn't mean a child gets to grow up thinking they're entitled to everything. That just makes them spoiled, not generous. Poor momma. I hope OP gets her fries" - alakaiex
"Or the opposite direction, where they feel like they must share absolutely everything no matter what or they're automatically an AH, because that's what mom is doing right now."
"A decent portion of the posts here are like that-- no, you're not obligated to share your car or your house or your money with anyone." - abhikavi
"It's also super sh**ty to teach your kid that when you've already had your dinner, someone else has to share their dinner with you. Daughter and dad already ate dinner and OP picked up her own on the way home. It's not the same as leaving someone out, it's just making sure you actually have dinner that night just like they did." - SnakesInYerPants
"Yep. 'Mommy is gonna have her dinner now, and you already had yours! I'm really hungry but if you still want something how about an apple or a cookie? ' Should be an acceptable response. The kid already ate and could have a snack or dessert." - kurogomatora
"And the husband undermining OP can lead to the daughter playing the parents off against one another. They can learn that behaviour early. OP should have been able eat in peace with dad keeping daughter busy if needs be. NTA." - Picklepuss22

Hopefully after receiving so much support from the subReddit, this mom will have new confidence to speak to her husband about the issue.

Whether or not they'll come to a mutual agreement is unclear, but it's obvious something needs to be done about their daughter expecting to share every food group that's carried in through their front door.