In theory, growing food at home should, in the long run, save you money by turning seeds, sunlight, soil, and water into food.
In reality, sometimes you are Jimmy Fallon and your plant gives exactly one tomato, and then Dame Helen Mirren horrifies you with gardening tips on air.
Fallon shared his singular tomato with actors Helen Mirren and Pierce Brosnan as the two made their way around the movie release circuit for their upcoming film The Thursday Murder Club.
In a segment on The Tonight Show, Fallon brought up gardening tomatoes first, then Mirren chimed in with a tip to "tremble" the tomato flower back and forth, making a particularly fascinating hand gesture to demonstrate how.
Fallon, shocked and a bit horrified at Mirren's hand gesture, asked what on earth that could be doing to help the tomatoes grow.
Dame Mirren responded:
"A tomato is a bisexual thing, you see....Well it is. I looked it up very recently, because I had a problem with tomatoes, so it's bisexual. So you have to go around to each flower and go like this."
She repeated the hand gesture. Fallon, still affected by the sight of Dame Helen Mirren of all people "trembling" a tomato flower mid-interview, swiftly moved the segment on to prepare what he called a salsa in order to stretch his one tomato to three people.
First, people had to compliment Fallon on his tomato growing skills.
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Proving that Mirren wasn't just yanking Fallon's chain, people corroborated her gardening tip.
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Many people had a specific tip for people, like Fallon, who don't want to be out vibrating their tomato flowers by hand.
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To those folks and also to Mirren, really, people had some reasonable questions to ask like, "How do you know that?"
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There were many comments from people in a variety of countries about how salsa, perhaps, wasn't the most accurate name for what Fallon made.
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Some folks honed in on Brosnan's near-miss with a jalapeño after the salsa/pico de gallo was made.
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All that production over just one tomato's worth of salsa/pico de gallo.
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The Thursday Murder Club will release on August 22nd.
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