People Break Down How Their Innocent Google Searches Yielded Seriously NSFW Results

***BEWARE! THIS IS AN NC-17 THREAD!***

Of course that's how threads like this are always found, with a warning.

I have gotten myself into a few sticky situations because of random searches. It's especially problematic now that I've figured out how to connect my devices to Bluetooth.

Damn Clinton

"Back in the day, whitehouse.com was a porn site. If you wanted to get to the real white house site, you had to type in .gov."

- firedude1314

"one jacked Grandpa"

"I was joking with one of my friends over text. His birthday was coming up, and he had also been working out more. I mentioned he was going to be "one jacked Grandpa" or something along those lines. I went to go search the internet to find a picture to send with my comment annnndddd... Yeah."

- certainshadeof11

Diesel

"I was in computer class as a sophomore in high school in 2002 when the movie xXx with vin diesel came out… I was innocently googling "xxx."

- Theydrewfirstbl00d

"I have a memory of me and my friends talking about the xXx movie with Vin Diesel in the back of my parents mini van. My parents were flabbergasted and started yelling at us for watch a triple x movie. We were confused (and innocent I guess) not knowing why they were mad, and they started laughing once we explained the plot of the movie and that it was only PG-13."

- Frankasaurus7

"Godzilla sex"

"Wanted to know if Godzilla was male or female. "Godzilla sex" was not the smartest thing to type in but surprisingly exists!"

- yurtyyurt

Pokey X

"Well when Pokemon x and y came out, some issues happened when kids went on Google and typed 'pokemon x videos' without specifying what exactly they were looking for."

- @ssliam

That's why I don't play Pokemon. It's a trap. And don't get me started on Godzilla. Everything is so random, isn't it?

KFC Only

"I searched for a type of fried chicken and ended up with a hentai… I was surprised."

- reddit_no_gaara

Numbers

"In mathematics, there is a typesetting programming called "LaTeX" which specializes in math symbols. Then there is another program called "GIMP" which stands for GNU Image Manipulation Program. Anyway, I was working on something and at one point I googled "latex and gimp." It turns out that those results did not help me with typesetting math."

- darth_metroid

Soaked

"Oh man, I have a story for this one. When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I had a neighbor who would routinely challenge me to super soaker fights. As I didn't have one of my own, he'd always let me borrow one. When my birthday was coming up, I guess he decided it would be cool to find a super soaker for me as a gift and get his parents to buy it. He decided it was time to do some research, and googled "super soakers", clicking on the first link that popped up."

"Keep in mind this was the early 2000's, and SafeSearch options didn't really exist yet. Lo and behold, this poor child opened a porn website dedicated to photos and videos not of supersoakers mind you. He immediately screamed, and tried to exit out. As it was the early 2000's, the computer didn't exactly have very much processing power, and decided it was a good time to freeze up."

So, here's a little kid who has been traumatized by pornographic images that are now frozen on to his computer. What's worse, his parents weren't home at the time. In a panic, he ran over to my house and asked my mom for help. In tears, he explained to her exactly what happened."

"My mom had to call his parents and explain, though it was hard for her to get all the info out between her laughter. She still laughs about the story to this day. Neighbor searched "super soakers," ended up with a frozen image of porn burned into his computer screen."

- Sthepker

Cleave

"My wife is a science teacher and was doing a unit on rock properties. She searched for rock color, rock hardness and a few others, but when it came to "cleavage" she didn't think that there was any kind besides rock, so she just searched cleavage."

- astroK120

"Is English her second language? We were giggling over "cleavage" as pubescent boys at least as far back as the 90s."

"Discovering the term in the science book was uproariously funny for the whole class because my female teacher had some impressive cleavage of her own and the "not this kind" while indicating herself tickled all the hormonal funny bones in the class."

- my_research_account

Gifts

"I had seen a cute video of a little girl getting a new toy as a gift and getting really excited and dancing for it. It was adorable, and I wanted to find it again to show my boyfriend. So I typed in "girl gets a new toy."

- miss_derp

There is no safe place on the web. So we are our only hope to stay innocent until or eyes are tainted. Beware the rabbit holes kids.