We can all agree that breaking up with someone we loved hurts, and it can be really hard to get over them, especially if we envisioned some huge future with them.
Fortunately, TikToker @lillys.healingera received five exercises from her therapist to help her say goodbye to her ex and the future she'd no longer have, and she's not being shy about sharing her notes.
In a multi-part photo reel on TikTok, Lilly shared "Five Weird Hacks My Therapist Gave Me to Move On After My Breakup."
The first tip was to write a goodbye letter to the future.
"She made me write a goodbye letter to the future. to him. to the life I thought we'd have."
"The wedding, home, kids wed [sic] already named, all of it"
"Then she made me write a new one."
"For the future that was still mine."
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
The second exercise was to separate the love from the withdrawal.
"She made me say it out loud, 'This is withdrawal, not love.'"
"Everytime i missed him. naming it took away so much of its power and helped me process it for what it is."
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
The third exercise was exploring what might have happened if she had stayed.
"She made me write what staying would have cost me."
"not just now. in a year. in five years."
"I wrote it all out in detail."
"seeing it written down changed everything"
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
The fourth exercise made her explore how she'd guide a friend through this.
"She made me write what I'd tell my best friend. if she came to me with everything I was going through."
"I was giving everyone else the advice I refused to give myself."
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
The fifth and final exercise was to prepare for her stages of grief.
"She made me make a plan for each grief stage."
"denial, anger, bargaining, all of it."
"a specific action for each one so when it hit I knew exactly what to do instead of crashing out"
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
Perhaps most importantly, the TikToker shared what she'd learned on her journey so far.
"Just keep going. it will get better."
"the love you've always needed it out there waiting for a healed you."
"heal so you can find it."
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
Fellow TikTokers were grateful for the tips and taking notes.
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
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@lillys.healingera/TikTok
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
@lillys.healingera/TikTok
It's so easy to assume that we've let go of a relationship that was still worth saving, and that the cost of losing it and its future are too high, at least until we do exercises like this and explore the costs we'd pay if we were to stay.
Being honest with ourselves can be really hard, so having exercises like this, which allow us to approach being honest from a new angle, are invaluable.
@jessicachastain/Instagram
