Genetics can yield some interesting results.
Sometimes a child looks exactly like their parent. Sometimes there's barely a passing resemblance.
As such, people would be wise not to make assumptions about a child's parentage based solely on physical appearance. Which is what one 27-year-old new mother dealt with recently.
After responding to questions from a complete stranger, the mother consulted the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for moral judgement.
"AITA for telling a woman where my baby came from?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I'm an Indian American woman. I was born and raised in America."
"A large majority of my childhood friends are Indian and I love to catch up with them."
"I'm the first of my friend group to have a baby. I was expected to be the last to have one, but life happens."
"I love her very very much and she's the main focus of my friend group."
"Her father (38 M[ale]) is White and my baby looks predominantly White. For reference, my skin is tan and lighter than some of my friends, but I still look very Indian."
"My friends and I decided to have an outdoor lunch together for the first time since February. I take covid very seriously because of my baby (now 6 months) but the cases in our area are very low and we all agreed to go to a place with less crowd. We were very safe."
"My friends and I were all sitting at a table and were having a great time. A White family later came to sit next to our table (still pretty far from us, more than 6 feet)."
"My baby was laughing pretty loudly and babbling. She was being the happy little baby that she is."
"I had dressed her up in a lavender dress and she was wearing a little matching bonnet.
"A lady from that family noticed us and walked over to us, without a mask and pretty close to me and my baby. I immediately started to put a mask on my baby."
"She started talking to me and complimented my baby and then asked me where she came from."
"Her exact words were 'How cute! That baby is just adorable! I just want to eat that little face up! Where did she come from?'"
"I was so confused and put off by that question. I didn't know what she was talking about and my immediate response was 'Umm, well my vagina?'"
"My friends all looked so confused and irritated and we were just super awkward. The lady was offended and told me that I could've just told her that my baby was mine and I didn't have to be so rude."
"She then huffed off and my friends and I were left pretty angry and confused. We carried on with our lunch and then when we were leaving, the lady's husband and son walked up toward us and told us that we disrespected her and asked us if we had any lessons in basic manners."
"We didn't say anything to them because frankly, we were scared. I'm putting this story here because I want to know if what I said was wrong and if I brought this situation on myself."
Redditors were asked to weigh in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was definitely not the a**hole in her situation.
"NTA! Great reply to her, and factually correct. If that insulted them they are morons." ~ MooseyMoo1973
"What other response was she expecting. Found her in a dumpster? There was a sale at JC Penny's?" ~ DudesworthMannington
"Stork? Cabbage patch under a leaf? Santa?" ~ trouble_ann
"maybe inside the box left underneath the bed? or the baby giveaway at the hospital? might have been inside a jack o lantern, who knows?" ~ warm-glazed-donuts
"She was a Blue Light special at Kmart." ~ jflb96
"eBay" ~ plumberchick
"No you don't buy babies on eBay."
"Someone made them. Spent a long time crafting them."
"You buy babies on Etsy." ~ Bias_Turnip
"When I read the title, I thought to myself, please tell me this lady said 'my vagina' and you did!!!!"
"My first thought as well and I'm a man. Like where the hell do you get babies otherwise...the baby store...maybe Target?"
"No one has any business asking that question." ~ FlyinPiggy
"She assumed the child you arrived with and were holding for the entire event wasn't yours? She asked them 'where they came from'??? (given the age of your baby that question was 100% directed at you, disgusting)"
"NTA, the racism is strong with this one..." ~ gen_petra
"As OP said, the baby looks White, so the 'lady' wasn't asking 'what is this foreign baby doing in my country?' so much as 'what is this Indian woman doing with a White baby?' which is absolutely racist and disgusting." ~ nostalgeek81
"That's somehow even worse. I also skimmed the part where she said the baby looks White, so I thought she was just slightly racist by asking where the baby was from, but no she's just straight up hard racist." ~ vanillac0ff33
" NTA - this kind of thing has happened in my family constantly, my mother's side are Indian my father (and many spouses to my mother's family) are White, some examples include:"
"• Mother picking me (completely white appearance) up from school (30 years ago mind you) and being asked if she was the nanny
"• My cousin having a coffee with her father and an older woman coming over and calling him a pervert! (I guess she thought they were a couple???)"
"• Another cousin's wife being asked were she got her 'Chinese' baby (her response was 'more direct' than yours)"
"• Along with the constant assumptions that I'm adopted and don't know it (I'm not, I'm just a clone of my dad)."
"Your response was perfect, let these people be embarrassed by their racist bias!" ~ Anggroth
The OP returned to address a few concerns Redditors raised.
"Wow, I'm overwhelmed with the response. I showed this post to my friends and we all laughed at some of the replies."
"In regards to my baby and the mask, I'm a new mother and I'm young, please cut me some slack. My boyfriend is the one who's the baby expert and I try my best to keep up."
"I tried to do what was best to protect the baby but I hear that I was wrong. Baby doesn't go out at all except to doctor visits and I only put a mask on her because of how close the lady was."