It's not a good feeling when you think your partner might be cheating on you.
The only thing that could possibly be worse, is if you know your partner is cheating on you.
Whether you catch them (literally) with their pants down or find an incriminating text or email, finding evidence of your partner's infidelity is an unpleasant discovery, to say the least.
Especially if your spouse continues to deny what you know full well is true.
Redditor TheBaronofIbilin was curious to hear how spouses of philanderers discovered they were being cheated on, leading them to ask:
"For those of you who caught your spouse cheating, how did you do it?"
ALWAYS Be Careful What You Put In Writing...
"Found a message on his phone from a mutual friend of ours that read, 'I can't stop thinking about all the things I want to do to you when I see you again'."
"We'd been together for 6 years and I was 4 months pregnant at the time."- dillytilly
The Dangers Of Dipping Your Pen In The Company Ink
"Told him I was going out with a few of my coworkers after work."
"Ended up drinking a bit too much, so I texted him that I'd be home later once I sobered up."
"Made it home around midnight and the first thing I noticed was a pair of car keys I never saw before."
"I immediately went on the hunt. I tried opening the bedroom door, but it was locked."
"After a few choice words, he eventually shuffled out by squeezing himself out of the bedroom through a cracked open bedroom door in just his boxers."
"He told me it wasn't what it looked like and begged me to let her out of the house without any drama."
"I told him to get her tf out of our house."
"As she tried running out, I caught a glimpse of her."
"It was his supervisor from work."
"After she left, I immediately began grilling him about how they wound up in the bedroom."
"He had invited her over to play his new video game I had bought him, but she started to get a headache."
"He didn't feel it was appropriate for his guest to lay on our 'hard' couch, so he let her lay in our bed."
"Mind you, we had a guest room."
"Alright."
"So now we know how she got into the bedroom, how she got naked, and how is this not cheating?"
"This moron said 'well, she wasn't comfortable in her clothes'."
"'So, she needed to be naked to sleep'."
"'But it's not cheating because she slept UNDER the covers and I slept ON the covers while still wearing my boxers'."
"Safe to say I divorced him, reported them to their superiors, and left their dumb a**es."
"Last I heard from my old neighbors, they got married."
"He cheated on her, she cheated on him, and they fight in the front yard."- Lil_miss_feisty
The Old "One And Done" Excuse...
"She had done some unexpected personal grooming and packed lingerie to take to work with her."
"When we got home at the end of day and she went off to get ready for bed (clearly not intending to sleep with me), I pulled the very used lingerie out of her bag and confronted her."
"She evaded initially but ended up confessing it was some guy from her work she had only met a couple of days earlier."
"That was 3 weeks ago."
"She's still sleeping with the new guy while I've moved out and am trying to figure out how we sell the house we bought together 7 months ago. So, fun times."- cedricsexypants
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What The Actual?!?
"Not me but my mother, who had stage three bladder cancer at the time, had a knock on the door from a woman who told her that she was dating my dad."
"She said that she had heard my mum was on death's doorstep and that she had been taking parenting classes and watching her take her kids inside from the car to prepare for the day she could adopt them."
"Real class act."- Illustrious_Papaya_5
Is It Still A "Girls Night" When There's Only One Girl?
"She was having too many 'girls night out'."
"I was skeptical. I checked her location on FindMy and saw she was at the neighbor's house."
"He’s single."
"A betrayal like that is devastating."- platypus5309
An Unending Line Of Betrayal
"My ex used to run a construction business with a childhood friend."
"They were very close and his friend was in our wedding."
"Ex started stealing money from the business and lying about jobs."
"I didn’t know this until his friend showed up at our home demanding we pay him back."
"My ex refused and told him he was going solo in the business."
"The friend looked me dead in the eye and told me the woman's name."
"No other info but just the name."
"I immediately knew what he meant by the look in his eye."
"He then gave me the address."
"The house was built by my husband, four years prior."- tarabletara
Tv Land What GIF by YoungerTVGiphy
Timing Is Everything
"Not me but a coworker."
"Went on a Contiki tour with his missus for his 21st birthday."
"Booked a 45 day tour, seeing like 15 different countries."
"A week or two into the trip she gets caught with some random Spanish dude in a club in Barcelona."
"He is obviously devastated, and now he has to face the prospects of potentially traveling for another month with the girl who just stomped on his heart."
"He contemplated just calling it and flying home, but other members of the tour convinced him to stay, have a good time and to get on with his life and enjoy the holiday he paid for. He organized with Contiki and the tour guides to re work the accommodation so he was no longer in a room with her."
"He told me he had a marvelous time, made some great new friends, and got to experience new things."
"She was miserable the whole time as basically, the entire group shunned her for being a massive PoS, ignored her on nights out, and she was desperately hoping to get back with her (ex) bf who wanted nothing to do with her."
"He changed his flights on the way home to fly home later than she was and extended his European holiday in order to keep the party going with some of the new friends he had made."- PanzerBiscuit
Why It Pays Off To Log Out...
"My bf and I each had our own laptops, but he used him for creating music in a home studio he made."
"So since it was always hooked up to an elaborate situation, he often used my computer to check his stuff."
"Well one day he got careless and didn't log out of Facebook properly."
"I got on my computer and saw that I had a dm notification."
"Clicked on it and saw that I didn't know this person but there was a conversation."
"It was then I realized that I'm on my bf' account not mine."
"And that message, while not spicy, was revealing."
"It was an old high school lady friend."
"She asked if he was in a relationship and he answered that he was single and had been for a while."
"A surprise to me as a live-in gf of 3 years."
"I don't know."
"There was just something in me that ignited."
"I went ham and started searching everywhere to see if this was a one time lie or if there was something more bubbling beneath the surface."
"Well...I was able to contact the cell phone company and printed out phone records."
"He called a specific number over 1000 times within the record timeframe I pulled, which was maybe like 3 months."
"It wasn't his family or his best friend."
"I had their numbers."
"I did some more sleuthing and found an old phone of his and charged it and searched for this number."
"It was his ex gf."
"I took a highlighter and marked every single instance and then took the stack of papers to confront him."
"I asked if he was in contact with his ex, and of course, he denied it."
"So I threw the proof at him and said how crazy it was that his phone just called her 1000 times in the past three months."
"This paired with his drastic drop in libido (which I was giving grace about because he said he was stressed about his job) and I realized it's over."
"Spoiler alert."
"They were together very shortly after I moved out."
"But I suspect he cheats on her too because the ex gf and the Facebook lady friend were two different people."- Psychological-Bed751
When Faking An Alibi, Make Sure It's Air Tight...
"Told me that he was at his parents' and would probably be spending the night."
"I was over at his parents' for dinner."
"They had seen me on my way home from work and invited me over."
"I was about to ask him when he would be finished with work so that he could meet me there, then I saw the message."- Internal_Echidna_946
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Cheating Can Cause Harm Of All Sorts...
"I went to the DR for an IUD for birth control after our second child, and while the DR was inserting the IUD in my cervix, she informed me that I had an STD."
"I had only had sex with him for the past ten years."- summerpeachxo
I See You...
"She said she was at a friend's studying."
"I had suspicions about a guy she was working with so I drove about 30 minutes to his house and found her car there."
"I parked out front and called her."
"She picked up and I just let her bury herself as hard as I could."
"Asked her what she was studying, what the girls name was she was studying with, where she lived, everything I could think of to make her fumble about."
"Then I told her to look out front of the house she was in."
"When I saw her peek through a blind, I waved and told her to find a new place to live and to come get her things."
"I know things hadn’t been great for a while, but it was still a bummer to end like that."- earic23
Was It Even A Possibility?
"I was rubbing her stomach in bed, and she made a joke about not being pregnant, assuring me she'd had a pregnancy test 2 weeks before."
"We hadn't seen each other in 3 months because she was studying in Scotland."- Conscious_Reading_16
Interested Saturday Night Live GIF by HULUGiphy
Thankfully, A Happy Ending For Everyone
"Ex-wife (married 10 years) needed an emergency shot of Imetrex for a migraine."
"Fumbling though her purse looking for it and found a tear in the fabric."
"Lo and behold she had condoms stashed in there along with some drugs."
"It was rough but I did end up with full custody of my two boys."
"Happily married to a wonderful woman now and everyone is ok."
"Even the ex, she eventually kicked her habit."- jugglerdude
Denial Only Makes Things Worse...
"My bf and flatmate went out for drinks while I stayed home with a flu."
"I fell asleep on the sofa watching TV and woke up to noises upstairs."
"It sounded like moaning and kissing."
"My heart sank and I felt like throwing up as I silently crept to my bedroom to peer in."
"My flatmate was on top of my bf half naked."
"She saw me and leapt off and ran out to her bedroom & shut the door."
"I yelled and banged on it and she ignored me."
"I went to him to yell & get an explanation & he pretended he was asleep."
"Completely ignoring me."
"And denying it the next day."- Sorbet-Mental
When Destroying Evidence, Destroy ALL Evidence
"I was suspicious, Spider Sense was tingling."
"She left her laptop open logged into her work email."
"Her lover was a coworker."
"Nothing was in the inbox."
"Dummy deleted all the emails but didn't delete her trash."
"It was all there."
"Cool cool cool."- SnatchAddict
bird delete this GIF by SkabGiphy
No matter the circumstances or the situation, cheaters will always face consequences.
What makes cheating in a relationship all the more heartbreaking, though, is the pain inflicted upon those who were cheated on.
