We can't believe we are having to actually write this out, but folks ... the phrase "kill it with fire" was never meant to be literal advice.
One Brazilian man found out exactly why after he nearly blew himself and his back yard up trying to deal with some pests.
If you're a fan of viral videos, you may have seen the footage that his security camera picked up. If not ... then you're in for a treat with a bang.
But first, let's tell his story.
The man was identified by Brazilian news outlets as 48 year old Cesar Schmitz. Cesar had a problem that many of us know all too well: cockroaches.
If you've ever dealt with them you know they're a tough bug to rid yourself us.
If you live in an apartment like many people in the city, they tend to just scoot to the next apartment for a bit before coming back to you. If you live in the suburbs you know they do much the same thing.
Folks in the countryside find themselves having to clear and treat acres of land just to get rid of them once they've established themselves. It certainly doesn't help that the critters can live for quite a while without a head and reproduce with frightening speed.
They say the only things that will survive a nuclear apocalypse will be Cher and cockroaches.
They're that hard to get rid of.
Cesar's home in the city of Enéas Marques was under attack. Roaches had moved in and infested his back yard.
His wife, who is afraid and understandably grossed out by them, asked him to get rid of them.
This is the point at which most people would call in the professionals. Cesar is absolutely not most people. Rather than call a pest control professional to treat the yard, he opted for the DIY solution.
Cesar armed himself with a tank of fuel and a box of matches and set himself to task. First, he poured the fuel down what he believed to be the epicenter of cockroach activity.
Then, without clearing the area or putting his dogs inside, he struck a match and dropped it, hoping to start a fire. No, he didn't seem to have a hose or fire extinguisher handy to put out the fire he was trying to start.
Match one failed to ignite.
Cesar had a moment to re-think his plan. He opted not to use that moment, but he had it, so that's something at least ... right?
Security footage shows Cesar almost immediately lighting and dropping match 2. He steps back expecting whooshing flames and again is met with nothing.
Nothing but perplexed looks from his two beagles, that is.
It's almost like they know this isn't going to end well...
@Shades2 / YouTube / Screenshot
Cesar then takes a step back, having yet another chance to reconsider. Again, he forges ahead.
You know what they say, third time's a charm...
Match 3 hits the ground and at first it seems like it's going to fizzle like the others, but nope! Instead, after a momentary pause of nothingness, Cesar's entire back yard pretty much blows up.
The fuel must have seeped underground and collected in a pocket, because the explosion comes from under the soil.
It sends the dogs running scared (don't worry, both pups emerge unscathed). It sends his patio furniture flying through the air. It leaves Cesar standing in shock with soil and grass everywhere.
That's ... not the method of pest control we would have chosen.
@Shades2 / YouTube / Screenshot
To add hilarious insult to near-injury, the explosion totally failed to address the cockroach issue. In fact, in the aftermath of Cesar's home-made yard bomb, you can see a roach casually walking along the patio away from Cesar.
Watch the lower left of the screen after the big bang moment.
Guy blows up his backyard, with a huge Explosion!www.youtube.com
No word on whether Cesar (or his wife) called in any actual pest control experts—though Cesar does admit that this all could have gone quite badly had he, the dogs, or the table been in slightly different positions.
Got a pest control issue? Try the Neatmaster Ultrasonic Pest Repeller, available here.
Have you listened to the first season of George Takei's podcast, 'Oh Myyy Pod!'?
In season one we explored the racially charged videos that have taken the internet by storm.
We're hard at work on season two so be sure to subscribe here so you don't miss it when it goes live.
Here's one of our favorite episodes from season one. Enjoy!