Pregnancy is supposed to be a new adventure for a growing family.
Though it can be exhausting and even scary at times, bringing a new baby home is meant to be a joyous occasion.
For women struggling with various forms of depression and anxiety, however, becoming a brand new mom can feel insurmountable. It can become difficult for her loved ones around her to cope, as well.
When a couple came home with their eight-year-old sons and newborn baby girl, the husband thought they had everything worked out. He had paid time off from work, which he would use to help his wife take care of the home and the new baby.
He soon discovered, however, that he was doing all the work in the home, while his wife didn't bond with the baby. He attempted to discuss the situation with her, as well as various ways to fix it, all to very little avail.
Finally, his wife discussed with him something she wanted to do, which enraged her husband.
The husband, Reddit user "throw27373," wrote into the "Am I the A$hole" subReddit, no longer knowing if he did the right thing.
You can read the full account here:
from AmItheAsshole
Most Redditers who replied were sympathetic to the situation, some even echoing the thoughts of divorce.
Most attributed the wife's behavior to a probable case of Postpartum Depression or Postpartum Psychosis, and encouraged the husband to assist his wife in going to her OB-GYN or a mental health professional as soon as possible.
"OP definitely needs to get her to a doctor to get started on meds. Also, just in case OP isn't aware, your wife is only 6 weeks out of childbirth."
"She WILL have follow up appointments with her OB to make sure she is healing correctly and getting back to normal. These appointments are crucial because the doctor will ask her very specifically about her moods and mental state."
"If you can, PLEASE go to these appointments with her and encourage her to be honest." - jujubeeee23
"She wants to abandon her month and half old baby to go party for a month. If that's not serious enough to warrant therapy then what is?!" - Im_Ashe_Man
"I'm exactly like this when my depression gets bad. At times I don't have the wherewithal to even phone in my prescriptions, which makes it even worse."
"I was bad just before my meds changed in November, and my friends wanted me to organise an online draw for a secret Santa and I just couldn't do it. I can't explain why simple things suddenly become insurmountable, but they do." - DoubtfulChilli
"PPD isn't just being sad. It can cause psychosis."
"You literally aren't thinking straight. You aren't able to make decisions the way you used to."
"This isn't just her being a spiteful bitch. PPD is a well documented issue that happens to a lot of women (and some men) who have had children."
"Take it seriously. You can't WILL away PPD by 'wanting to get better'."
"At some point, people in her life need to step in to make decisions. Have you talked to your pediatrician? To the OBGYN who delivered the baby?" - mowotlarx
Very few people commented on the question of whether the husband was the a$hole, because there were more serious issues at hand, regarding the sons, the new baby girl and the condition of the mother.
Though the appearance of depression and other symptoms after a baby is born can be frustrating and even disheartening, they are very real causes for concern. Treating these symptoms not only will help the mother now, but will improve on her relationship with her child and the well-being of the family in the long-run.
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