I have feelings about people.
I'm not an empath.
But I have nuanced intuition.
So when I feel off meeting a person, I trust it.
All I have is my gut instinct.
Redditor UniqueEnvironment798 wanted to hear about the times people met a person and knew this meeting may be a mistake, so they asked:
"What’s a strangely specific thing about someone that immediately gives you bad vibes?"
Professionals
"I can't exactly word it, but people who don't have a conversation with you but instead use you as a tool to reflect their ego image."
- intention_clar
"My side of the family. Always talking, no one listening. My husband calls people like this 'Professional Oxygen Thieves.'"
- Remote-Candidate7964
Relax Breath GIF by TRT Giphy
WHY?
"When people take joy in challenging everything you say. I think it’s called a contrarian personality."
- Awkward-Equivalent11
"I just ended a friendship with this type of person.
"Pretty soon, you give up trying to even talk to them, since you are ALWAYS wrong. Always."
"And when somehow proven to be right, then you get the cold shoulder."
"Ending the friendship, when she asked 'Why?' I knew any answer I gave her would argue, so I simply said 'I'm not sure you even like me'. Which was true, but was not the reason I ended this. She just looked at me and replied, Hmmph.' Over and out."
"I feel much better now."
- chairmanbones
JUST SAY IT!
"This is particularly in a professional setting, but when they are unwilling to just say 'I made a mistake,' even though it is clear they did. Just say it. That's it. You earn my respect when you JUST SAY IT."
- matchstick-octopus
"At my last job, my boss told me to get after the receptionists for scheduling someone wrong. He was pissed. I looked at the history to see what happened, and it was the other tech who actually scheduled it. I told the tech, and I wasn’t going to tell the doctor."
"Later at our staff lunch, we were talking about it, and my co-worker said he did it. It was really cool of him."
- dogsandwhiskey
NEVER
"When they are NEVER able to say they were wrong about something. We all make mistakes sometimes."
- arabesuku
"You're so right about this."
"It's taken me till my 30s to realize how scary this trait is in people. But now I spot it fast and immediately distance that person."
"12 years stuck in a relationship with a person who eventually made me believe I was the one who was impossible to deal with and couldn't own my mistakes, and they were infallible, scared me off any interactions with people like that."
"Once I realized what was happening, I started to call it 'living on Planet Tom where nothing is his fault' (Tom was not their name but ykwim)."
- Kath_DayKnight
LOLOL
"Making fun of someone/Putting someone down for how they laugh."
"Laughter is such a genuine and beautiful way to express joy- don’t be a d**k."
- Raidden
"I have a friend who rarely laughs out loud because of this. He always suppresses/silently laughs. It bums me out because I've only heard him genuinely laugh once, and I thought it was a lovely sound. I made sure to tell him he had a great laugh. Hopefully, he lets me hear it again someday. F**king a**holes ruining things."
- outofideasforthis
IYKYK
"Intentionally using inside jokes or references with their friends around others who clearly won’t understand them. Then saying s**t like 'if you know, you know' or not giving any context/explanation. Like, why would you purposely make someone feel excluded and awkward?"
- mardy_go
ha ha simpsons GIF Giphy
The Darkness
"There is a kind of high-energy person whom I can never trust - the kinda youth-pastor energy that feels like a performance. Always excited, always positive, always ready to go."
"I love positive people, but this type of person I've found tends to be masking a lot of dark s**t under that performance."
- Breadonshelf
Sweetie/Darling
"A condescending 'oh honey' or 'oh sweetie, you have no idea' from someone my own age. It feels obviously rude to me, but a lot of people do this as banter, and it’s weird."
- Ok-Echo-
"Got this from a coworker. 'Oh, sweetie, you're too nice. Don't worry, I'm gonna teach you to be an a**hole.'"
"That's when I realized this person thought I was nice because I never learned how to be obnoxious, where in reality, they were looking at the end result of my development arc. I'm not (just) nice because I'm a nice person, but because it's strategically advantageous. Things get done faster, and people want to help you when they like you."
- mister__cow
$
"Buying high-end items and bragging about them. Especially when everyone knows you can't afford them because you owe money to several people in the friendship group."
- magicmom17
"Had one person I worked with who was proudly showing off a brand new tattoo that would have easily cost $500-$700, while also owing some suckers money (I say suckers because everyone knew how bad she was with money, and yet they were still 'lending' her hundreds of dollars for her bills)."
- Bi-Bi-Bi24
Let's Talk
"When they use your name too often in conversations. I don't know why, but something about it feels inauthentic."
- Pinktullip
"You're right on the money there. It's the old saying in sales: 'the most beautiful word in the English language is the customer's own name.' Using someone's name constantly in a conversation is absolutely a tactic people use to try and win others' trust."
- gayjospehquinnFilthy
"People who are overly familiar too soon. Dirty joke, touchy, getting in your personal space."
- writing_mm_romance
Meeting Women
"There's a certain type of person (most often men, but some women) who has this way of interacting with women that shows that no matter how polite he is, he thinks women as a group aren't worth his time unless they're either flattering him or he wants to sleep with them."
- Antique-Respect8746
Bigger
"When larger men (I’m 5”11 F, so like 6”2+ men) who are ‘bigger’ make their whole personality being a fun, cuddly guy, but like having to tell everyone about it? Freaks me out. If you’re a nice guy, you’re a nice guy. You don’t need to tell everyone."
- LongjumpingCourse988
“'You can trust me, I’m a Nice Guy' is a super red flag. Where’s the behavior that consistently corroborates that niceness - if he has to announce it every few minutes, he’s trying to distract and deflect attention from his awfulness."
- Mobile-Play-3972
Trust Me
"I now get bad vibes from any person who is very quick in initial conversations to bring up their church and their beliefs. In the last few years, every person I have dealt with in business and civic settings who was quick to point out they are devoted Christians turned out to be untrustworthy, difficult, and very petty. Also very hypocritical - they expected everyone else to play fair and be kind to them, while they behaved badly and did a lot of backstabbing and lying."
"I've found that those who are truly faithful to Christian or other religious principles show it by living those principles; they don't announce their religiousness as a 'trust me' move."
- Key_Molasses4367
Hey Buddy
"Being overfamiliar. You've just met this person, and already they're throwing 'Good Natured' jibes at you or challenging your statements. We aren't friends, Buddy, and it looks like we won't be."
- Johhnymaddog316
warning go away GIF by Kathryn Dean Giphy
Follow the red flags, people!
When will humans learn before it's too late?
Too much of this is too true.
Don't talk to me like you KNOW me until you KNOW me!
That is one of my go-tos.
If they freak you out?
Trust that feeling!
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