In every relationship, there are deal-breakers.
Maybe someone cheats or has a gross habit or has a really objectionable views.
But sometimes the real deal-breaker is in how the other person reacts in these situations.
Take, for instance, the couple who has been together for about 9 months. One night, the girlfriend had an accident while in bed. The boyfriend slept on the couch that night after the incident but has since refused to return to the bed.
Who is really wrong in this situation?
Redditor "throwaway13345569876" wrote into the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit, asking if he was the one who was in the wrong for not wanting to sleep with his girlfriend after the incident.
The boyfriend asked the thread:
"[Am I the a**hole] for refusing to sleep in the same bed as my girlfriend after she wet the bed?"
The boyfriend explained what happened the night of the incident:
"Yes you read that title correctly and no I'm not dating a 5 year old. So about a week ago my 20 year old girlfriend wet our bed and I haven't been able to sleep with her since."
He decided to sleep separately that night.
"After the incident she cried and was very embarrassed and I told her that it doesn't matter because it doesn't change my opinion of her."
"That night I told her that I was sleeping on the couch and she was hurt but understanding."
But since he hasn't returned to the bedroom, his girlfriend is having doubts about their relationship.
"But now she's claiming that it's been a week and that I should sleep with her but I'm still feeling not comfortable with sleeping with her. She says me not sleeping with her is making her insecure even though I've reassured her that I still love her."
He asked the thread if he was wrong for feeling this way.
"I was just wondering [if I am the a**hole], and also is it healthy for her to wet the bed(this is the first time in our 9 month relationship that this has happened)"
After receiving some feedback, he added to his list of concerns.
"Edit: I've realised I was in the wrong but my girlfriend says she doesn't want to share the bed with me now, which I understand, what can I do now to make the situation better."
"Edit 2: reading these comments is making me worried about my relationship. I think I was grossed out because of my own immaturity and my girlfriend shouldn't have to put up with that. I realise what I've done might make her feel embarrassed around me so what could I do to fix that?"
"Edit 3: I'm fully aware am the a**hole so please can you comment some advice because I don't want to throw our relationship away because of this."
Redditors wrote in anonymously, using the following scale:
- NTA: "Not the A**hole"
- YTA: "You're the A**hole"
- ESH: "Everybody Sucks Here"
- NAH: "No A**holes Here"
Some Redditors pointed out the boyfriend overreacted by sharing their own experiences with vulnerability in their relationships.
"My husband s**t the bed once during a stomach illness. I just laughed and washed the sheets. You are spot on. He'a also seen 3 children burst from my vagina so I think we are pretty even as far as bodily fluids go. Ha." - SmashBandit90
"Yup. When my bf and I just started dating I got a UTI and wet the bed. This had literally never happened to me before (despite having had multiple UTIs)."
"I was mortified and woke up my bf, who gave me a big hug and changed the bed while I took a shower. Then we cuddled in bed until I fell asleep again. Basically I knew right then that he was a keeper. So yeah, OP, YTA." - coastalshelves
Others shared how terrible they felt for the girlfriend and what she must be going through.
"And he sarcastically states he's not dating a 5 year old in the first paragraph. To me, that right there made him a**hole. Absolutely no compassion. I wet the bed until I was like 7 or 8, it was really embarrassing. My older brother wet the bed until like 10. We would leave sleep overs early, it sucked."
"I'm 23 now and if I wet the bed I would be mortified, especially if I did it next to my bf, I feel for her so much. The last thing she needs is her bf acting like a condescending a**hole."
"He tells us she's 20 and leaves his age out. He's acting really mean and immature about this, I feel like." - Hate_Having_Needs
"I had a UTI and peed on my boyfriend's floor. It was crazy humiliating. This was when we first started dating, and he was still a champ about it. (I was so afraid I'd be "that one tinder girl who peed all over his floor" but it all worked out."
"I feel so bad for this dude's gf. Poor girl had an accident, and he's been treating her like a leper. He majorly messed up their relationship." - Roux_Harbour
One Redditor pointed out that the boyfriend's words and actions aren't adding up.
"'It doesn't change how my opinion on her.'"
"Immediately treats her differently. YTA" - grw313
Another Redditor said this was plenty of evidence that the boyfriend isn't ready for a relationship.
"You're not ready for a real relationship. You're going to see a lot of bodily fluids through your years with someone. Vomit, piss, s**t, her period, a whole human baby might bust out of her vagina at some point in life. If you can't handle an ACCIDENT - don't have a serious relationship. YTA." - WonderfulAtmosphere
After receiving this feedback, it seems the boyfriend now wants to work on his relationship.
But it's unclear if he will simply talk to his girlfriend about this or if he will return to the bedroom at night.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*