Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Explain How They'd Like Their Deaths To Be Celebrated

Make us preferred on Google

Picturing your own funeral can be an eerie and depressing exercise.

For some, though, the freedom to subject all your friends and family to your own morbid humor is an exciting idea.


These Redditors have no shortage of ideas regarding their hypothetical funerals.

Luckily, questions of legality or logistical possibility need not apply to this thread.

The result is a collage of ideas that take different approaches to a couple key factors of the parting ceremony: what happens to the actual body, and how funeral attendees ought to feel.

They’re often meant to be grossed ought, entertained, shocked, or some bizarre combination of the three

aroadcaptain asked, "Social/religious norms aside, how would you like your death to be mourned/celebrated?"

A Nice Mix

"New Orleans has a tradition of marching slowly to the graveyard, mourning. Then a ceremony and a dancing jazz party on the way back to the church, where food and drinks are. The party continues from there."

"I've always thought this is good psychology - mourn, but celebrate also."

-- Naweezy

Quick and Cheap

"After my death, just throw me in the trash." -- leiner240

"If it's summer time, I just hope you die close to garbage day...you'll want your family to remember you fondly after all." -- Bradiator34

"trashes to trashes..." -- michar

Taking Your Principles With You

"I want to become a tree. I don't want my family going broke after I die. If my 1st choice isn't an option, I want them to do something sustainable and affordable." -- jennybean2442

"I want to become Coral Reef!!" -- SamwiseEGangeefff

"Do you want haunted forests? Because this is how you get haunted forests." -- Throwaway726368

Epic

"I want to be dropped like 500 or so feet from the sky and wherever I land is just a surprise." -- pukichoo

"I think there's a funeral parlor that cremates your body and put the ashes in a big-a** firework and blows you up over the sky..." -- superciuppa

At Least Have the Decency to Cure It

"I want my body to be cured, stuffed with candy, and hung from the ceiling so the funeral guests can beat the candy from my dead body like a piñata." -- fxstfullofashes

"Hmmm a human jerky piñata. Nice." -- DerpyArtist

A Minor, Important Stipulation

"I want my remains to be scattered over Disneyland but I DO NOT want to be cremated." -- fu**ingham_green

"My spouse, a wildlife photographer, said that instead of spreading my ashes over my favorite part of Yellowstone that he'd throw me out limb by limb so he could get some amazing photographs." -- chickaboomba

Viking/Irish/Italian Burial Rites

"I'd love to be placed in a wooden ship soaked in gasoline and pushed into the sea while an archer shoots a fiery arrow from the bay."

"The people will then mourn me watching my ship on fire and crumbling into the sea while a bagpiper play a sad Irish music."

"Then, after a while people will start questioning the irish sad song since i'm italian but i will be gone forever, not to be bothered by them."

-- Xobark

Living Reputations Will Follow You

"When I die, I would like one of the following said about me at the service, and written on my tombstone."

"If I outlived the average life expectancy age: 'Late for death, as he was for most things in life.' "

"If I died before the average life expectancy age: 'Finally, something he wasn't late for.' "

-- AMN-

Educational

"I want my body donated to the Body Farm with one special stipulation."

"I want to be put in a car trunk and spring-loaded so that when some hapless grad student comes to check on my decomposition, my corpse pops out at them like a fermenting eyeless jack-in-the-box."

-- redmollytheblack

A Corpse That Keeps on Giving 

"I want them to take my bones and make me into one of those skeletons they always have in high school science classes."

"This is not in jest, I think it would be truly cool."

"I got the idea from a guy who lost his arm, and later had it taken to a taxidermist. It now sits on the mantle above his fireplace, a skeleton arm and hand."

-- FedMyNed


Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "🤐" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

James Talarico
Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images

Fox News Ripped After Blaming Talarico For Not Trying To Stop MAGA Conspiracy Theory About Him

Fox News sparked eyerolls from critics after attempting to blame Texas Democratic Senate nominee James Talarico for not trying to shut down a viral MAGA conspiracy theory that he'd had a mental health episode and was admitted to a facility.

Talarico returned to the campaign trail after taking nine days off to recover from the flu. During his absence, conservative commentators circulated an unsubstantiated claim that he had experienced a mental health crisis and traveled to the Lindner Center of Hope in Cincinnati, Ohio, for treatment.

Keep ReadingShow less
Amy Poehler; Paul McCartney
Good Hang with Amy Poehler

Paul McCartney's Hilarious Impression Of Current Pop Music Has Fans Screaming

You could say Sir Paul McCartney knows a thing or two about pop music, as the former frontman of one of the most iconic pop acts of all time, The Beatles.

And when it comes to today's pop music? Let's just say he's not a huge fan!

Keep ReadingShow less
Mary Peltola; Dan Sullivan
KTOO

Alaska Democrat Blasts Republican Senator Who Questioned If She Got The Debate Questions In Advance

Incumbent Alaska MAGA Republican Senator Dan Sullivan faced off with his Democratic challenger in another debate and it didn't go any better than it had previously for the man endorsed by President Donald Trump.

During a prior debate, Sullivan got caught on camera looking at former Democratic Representative and current Senate candidate Mary Peltola's answer before answering a yes or no question. This time, Sullivan implied his opponent must have gotten the debate questions in advance.

Keep ReadingShow less
Kristi Rogers (left) at a Detroit gas station during her $10 gas card giveaway.
The Detroit News

MAGA Candidate's Wife Ripped After Handing Out $10 Gas Cards In Desperate Bid To Court Michigan Voters

Kristi Rogers showed up at a Detroit gas station ready to throw down some serious money to help struggling drivers.

And by serious money, I mean $10. Not $100. Not even $20. Ten American dollars, delivered with the confidence of someone handing out free PS5s.

Keep ReadingShow less
Simone Boyce; Samuel L. Jackson
@DailyLoud/X

Samuel L. Jackson Roasts Red Carpet Reporter To Shreds After She Tries To Do Impression Of Him

Samuel L. Jackson is one of those actors that people just love to impersonate. He's had so many memorable roles with countless quotable lines, and his personality is nothing short of fascinating.

But people who attempt to impersonate him always get some aspect of the impression wrong, whether it's the volume, the enunciation, the intonation, or just the overall demeanor. Even Jamie Foxx, who's an impressive impersonator of a wide range of stars, has not impressed Jackson with his impersonation of him.

Keep ReadingShow less