Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Explain How They'd Like Their Deaths To Be Celebrated

Picturing your own funeral can be an eerie and depressing exercise.

For some, though, the freedom to subject all your friends and family to your own morbid humor is an exciting idea.


These Redditors have no shortage of ideas regarding their hypothetical funerals.

Luckily, questions of legality or logistical possibility need not apply to this thread.

The result is a collage of ideas that take different approaches to a couple key factors of the parting ceremony: what happens to the actual body, and how funeral attendees ought to feel.

They’re often meant to be grossed ought, entertained, shocked, or some bizarre combination of the three

aroadcaptain asked, "Social/religious norms aside, how would you like your death to be mourned/celebrated?"

A Nice Mix

"New Orleans has a tradition of marching slowly to the graveyard, mourning. Then a ceremony and a dancing jazz party on the way back to the church, where food and drinks are. The party continues from there."

"I've always thought this is good psychology - mourn, but celebrate also."

-- Naweezy

Quick and Cheap

"After my death, just throw me in the trash." -- leiner240

"If it's summer time, I just hope you die close to garbage day...you'll want your family to remember you fondly after all." -- Bradiator34

"trashes to trashes..." -- michar

Taking Your Principles With You

"I want to become a tree. I don't want my family going broke after I die. If my 1st choice isn't an option, I want them to do something sustainable and affordable." -- jennybean2442

"I want to become Coral Reef!!" -- SamwiseEGangeefff

"Do you want haunted forests? Because this is how you get haunted forests." -- Throwaway726368

Epic

"I want to be dropped like 500 or so feet from the sky and wherever I land is just a surprise." -- pukichoo

"I think there's a funeral parlor that cremates your body and put the ashes in a big-a** firework and blows you up over the sky..." -- superciuppa

At Least Have the Decency to Cure It

"I want my body to be cured, stuffed with candy, and hung from the ceiling so the funeral guests can beat the candy from my dead body like a piñata." -- fxstfullofashes

"Hmmm a human jerky piñata. Nice." -- DerpyArtist

A Minor, Important Stipulation

"I want my remains to be scattered over Disneyland but I DO NOT want to be cremated." -- fu**ingham_green

"My spouse, a wildlife photographer, said that instead of spreading my ashes over my favorite part of Yellowstone that he'd throw me out limb by limb so he could get some amazing photographs." -- chickaboomba

Viking/Irish/Italian Burial Rites

"I'd love to be placed in a wooden ship soaked in gasoline and pushed into the sea while an archer shoots a fiery arrow from the bay."

"The people will then mourn me watching my ship on fire and crumbling into the sea while a bagpiper play a sad Irish music."

"Then, after a while people will start questioning the irish sad song since i'm italian but i will be gone forever, not to be bothered by them."

-- Xobark

Living Reputations Will Follow You

"When I die, I would like one of the following said about me at the service, and written on my tombstone."

"If I outlived the average life expectancy age: 'Late for death, as he was for most things in life.' "

"If I died before the average life expectancy age: 'Finally, something he wasn't late for.' "

-- AMN-

Educational

"I want my body donated to the Body Farm with one special stipulation."

"I want to be put in a car trunk and spring-loaded so that when some hapless grad student comes to check on my decomposition, my corpse pops out at them like a fermenting eyeless jack-in-the-box."

-- redmollytheblack

A Corpse That Keeps on Giving 

"I want them to take my bones and make me into one of those skeletons they always have in high school science classes."

"This is not in jest, I think it would be truly cool."

"I got the idea from a guy who lost his arm, and later had it taken to a taxidermist. It now sits on the mantle above his fireplace, a skeleton arm and hand."

-- FedMyNed


Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "🤐" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Daniel Radcliffe
ANGELA WEISS / AFP via Getty Images

Fans Are Loving 'Short King' Daniel Radcliffe's Tony Awards Red Carpet Photos With His Taller Girlfriend

We've all known a man or two who's hypersensitive and obsessed with his height, perhaps with good reason: the "short kings" among us are often the butts of lots of jokes online.

And many are the short men who say they're unbothered by their height but would never dare date someone taller than them.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Rosie O'Donnell; Donald Trump
Variety; Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Rosie O'Donnell Skewers 'Psychopath' Trump In Unfiltered Red Carpet Interview At The Tony Awards—And She's Spot On

Actor and comedian Rosie O'Donnell called President Donald Trump a "psychopath" when asked about him by a reporter for Variety on the red carpet at the Tony Awards on Sunday night.

O'Donnell and Trump have feuded for years and O'Donnell, fearing the worst once Trump won the 2024 election, moved to Ireland shortly before he was inaugurated. She has cited the risks Project 2025 and Trump's potential retribution pose to her and her nonbinary child.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pete Hegseth
Kiran Ridley/Getty Images

Pete Hegseth Blasted After Using D-Day Remembrance Speech To Gripe About Immigrants In Europe

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth was criticized after using a D-Day remembrance speech to complain about immigrants coming to Europe.

The D-Day operation on June 6, 1944, united the land, air, and sea forces of the Allied armies in what became the largest amphibious invasion in military history. Codenamed Operation OVERLORD, this massive endeavor landed five naval assault divisions on the beaches of Normandy.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Donald Trump and Kristen Welker
NBC

Trump Just Tried To Blame His 'Meet The Press' Tantrum On The Weather—And Nobody's Buying It

President Donald Trump was criticized after he abruptly stormed out of an interview on Meet the Press on Sunday only to blame his tantrum on the rain.

Trump left after repeatedly insisting, without evidence, that both the 2020 presidential election and California's gubernatorial race were rigged. During the exchange, moderator Kristen Welker noted that California's lengthy ballot-counting process is routine, but Trump pointed to the ongoing tally as proof of wrongdoing.

Keep ReadingShow less
Woman putting cupcakes in oven; Message from u/Duskymoonlight/Reddit
BongkarnThanyakij/Getty Images; u/Duskymoonlight/Reddit

Beginner Baker Didn't Realize You're Not Supposed To Put Decorations On Until After Baking—And The Photos Are Priceless

We all have our own unique talents, and it's actually kind of awesome that they're not all the same.

That said, one of the best reasons to try something new is the potential laughs we'll get out of it.

Keep ReadingShow less