Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Explain How They'd Like Their Deaths To Be Celebrated

Make us preferred on Google

Picturing your own funeral can be an eerie and depressing exercise.

For some, though, the freedom to subject all your friends and family to your own morbid humor is an exciting idea.


These Redditors have no shortage of ideas regarding their hypothetical funerals.

Luckily, questions of legality or logistical possibility need not apply to this thread.

The result is a collage of ideas that take different approaches to a couple key factors of the parting ceremony: what happens to the actual body, and how funeral attendees ought to feel.

They’re often meant to be grossed ought, entertained, shocked, or some bizarre combination of the three

aroadcaptain asked, "Social/religious norms aside, how would you like your death to be mourned/celebrated?"

A Nice Mix

"New Orleans has a tradition of marching slowly to the graveyard, mourning. Then a ceremony and a dancing jazz party on the way back to the church, where food and drinks are. The party continues from there."

"I've always thought this is good psychology - mourn, but celebrate also."

-- Naweezy

Quick and Cheap

"After my death, just throw me in the trash." -- leiner240

"If it's summer time, I just hope you die close to garbage day...you'll want your family to remember you fondly after all." -- Bradiator34

"trashes to trashes..." -- michar

Taking Your Principles With You

"I want to become a tree. I don't want my family going broke after I die. If my 1st choice isn't an option, I want them to do something sustainable and affordable." -- jennybean2442

"I want to become Coral Reef!!" -- SamwiseEGangeefff

"Do you want haunted forests? Because this is how you get haunted forests." -- Throwaway726368

Epic

"I want to be dropped like 500 or so feet from the sky and wherever I land is just a surprise." -- pukichoo

"I think there's a funeral parlor that cremates your body and put the ashes in a big-a** firework and blows you up over the sky..." -- superciuppa

At Least Have the Decency to Cure It

"I want my body to be cured, stuffed with candy, and hung from the ceiling so the funeral guests can beat the candy from my dead body like a piñata." -- fxstfullofashes

"Hmmm a human jerky piñata. Nice." -- DerpyArtist

A Minor, Important Stipulation

"I want my remains to be scattered over Disneyland but I DO NOT want to be cremated." -- fu**ingham_green

"My spouse, a wildlife photographer, said that instead of spreading my ashes over my favorite part of Yellowstone that he'd throw me out limb by limb so he could get some amazing photographs." -- chickaboomba

Viking/Irish/Italian Burial Rites

"I'd love to be placed in a wooden ship soaked in gasoline and pushed into the sea while an archer shoots a fiery arrow from the bay."

"The people will then mourn me watching my ship on fire and crumbling into the sea while a bagpiper play a sad Irish music."

"Then, after a while people will start questioning the irish sad song since i'm italian but i will be gone forever, not to be bothered by them."

-- Xobark

Living Reputations Will Follow You

"When I die, I would like one of the following said about me at the service, and written on my tombstone."

"If I outlived the average life expectancy age: 'Late for death, as he was for most things in life.' "

"If I died before the average life expectancy age: 'Finally, something he wasn't late for.' "

-- AMN-

Educational

"I want my body donated to the Body Farm with one special stipulation."

"I want to be put in a car trunk and spring-loaded so that when some hapless grad student comes to check on my decomposition, my corpse pops out at them like a fermenting eyeless jack-in-the-box."

-- redmollytheblack

A Corpse That Keeps on Giving 

"I want them to take my bones and make me into one of those skeletons they always have in high school science classes."

"This is not in jest, I think it would be truly cool."

"I got the idea from a guy who lost his arm, and later had it taken to a taxidermist. It now sits on the mantle above his fireplace, a skeleton arm and hand."

-- FedMyNed


Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "🤐" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

The Traitors: New Blood star Jay Vinnedge (left) and his wife, Danielle Vinnedge (right).
NBC; @daniellevinnedge/TikTok

'The Traitors' Star's Wife Sets The Record Straight After Fans Are Shocked That He Isn't Gay

Alan Cumming can throw 22 strangers into a Scottish castle, secretly recruit murderers, and arrive at breakfast dressed like a fabulously wealthy woman with several suspiciously deceased husbands. Yet somehow, contestant Jay Vinnedge having a wife became the season’s most unexpected plot twist.

Cue the bagpipes, we have a suspect to interrogate.

Keep ReadingShow less
Todd Rundgren; Taylor Swift
Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images; Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

'70s Rock Star Sparks Heated Debate After Claiming That Taylor Swift Has 'Ruined Music'

Taylor Swift's new extended album The Life of a Showgirl: Encore has been even more poorly received than the original version last year, and you can count Todd Rundgren among those who aren't impressed.

Who the heck is that? The 78-year-old rocker had a slew of hits in the 1970s, including "Hello It's Me" and "I Saw The Light," and also produced some of the most important rock albums of the era.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Penny Lee during MS NOW interview
MS NOW

MAGA Voter Sounds Off About Her Regret Over Voting For Trump In Blistering Viral Interview: 'I'm Pissed'

Penny Lee, a Florida woman who voted for President Donald Trump, admitted to a reporter with MS NOW that she regrets voting for him and says that the Trump administration has run the country "into the ground."

Lee spoke to the press at a gas station in the town of Clewiston and her remarks highlight the stress many Americans are living with as a nationwide affordability crisis continues unabated.

Keep ReadingShow less
Ken Paxton; Donald Trump
Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images; Aaron Schwartz/Getty Images

Ken Paxton Privately Admits GOP Candidates' Numbers 'Dropped' Due To Trump's Midterm Convention In Leaked Audio

Texas attorney general and U.S. Senate nominee Ken Paxton privately admitted in a newly-leaked audio clip that "everybody's numbers dropped" after the Republican midterm convention where President Donald Trump appeared last month.

Trump spoke for nearly two hours that night, with his address airing live on Fox News as well as the Nielsen-rated cable networks Newsmax and NewsNation. Trump promised a "Trump dividend" of $5000 to every adult if Republicans win both chambers of Congress, asked his supporters to do him “the biggest favor” and “pretend” they are voting for him in November.

Keep ReadingShow less
Jack Smith; Eric Schmitt
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images; Saul Loeb/AFP via Getty Images

Video Proves Jack Smith Was At Iowa Hawkeyes Game And Not In Atlanta After MAGA Senator's Epic 'Gotcha' Blunder

Former special counsel Jack Smith was indeed, as he told Missouri Republican Senator Eric Schmitt during a contentious hearing, at an Iowa Hawkeyes game in 2024, per video proof making the rounds following Schmitt's viral blunder.

On Tuesday, Schmitt accused Smith of perjury after repeatedly questioning him about whether he had attended an NBA game in Atlanta on February 3, 2024. The Atlanta Hawks hosted the Golden State Warriors that evening.

Keep ReadingShow less