Bridezillas - they can come out of nowhere or slowly swell to size. In any case, they make everyone nervous and many people took great risk sharing their experiences here.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Better be nice to the kids, new step-parent.Giphy
My dad remarried. He's fairly well off but at the time I didn't realize it. Come the wedding day, his (soon to be ex bride) stepped out of the limo, and PUSHED me away from her when I tried to give her a congratulatory hug (I was 11). That part of the wedding threw me off, and sure enough 6 months later they were divorced.
This poor chap didn't make it.
I found she was getting very anxious about every little part of the wedding, and instead of talking them through with someone, she just got angry at everyone around her. We tried to sit her down too.
Wait for it...Giphy
Not me, but my first ex-wife's best friend had a binder that she had put together in high school:
- the husband had to be a lawyer
- wedding at a country club by the ocean
- white Rolls Royce limousine driven by an older man wearing a 3 piece suit
Well, I was at the wedding, she did marry a lawyer, and every box was checked, including the RR and driver.
I am still friend with the husband, great guy, and he's living proof that:
Most people live a life of quiet desperation
Me. ME. ME!!!ME!!!
I saw it during the planning phase. I broke it off after the demands kept mounting. Nothing was good enough and I began to feel like the entire thing was less about us and more about her self image.
This thread is a trap.
All the husbands of bridezillas aren't allowed to comment on this one.
Oh wow, consequences.Giphy
My friend was a bridezilla. I told her if she became one (this is before she acted that way, and she was asking me to be MOH) I would smack some sense into her and not be part of the wedding. (This was originally said as a joke and her fiance knew about this.) Day before her wedding she was yelling at everyone and made a rude comment to one of the bridesmades who has body image issues about her weight. (Basically asked why she couldn't be bothered to lose a few for her wedding).
I told her to stop, she didn't so I hit her. Big old red mark on her face. Then I walked out. From what the best man said, after hearing what had happened the groom sat the bride down and told her if she didn't stop being a bridezilla he'd call off the wedding. She stopped, wedding happened, but me and the other bridesmaid had backed out.
From a former Bridezilla.
I shall answer this one as the female.
I had no forking clue I was going to be such a crazy bride in the planning stages. Turns out, I was really insecure about his family. My family is not that close, but theirs is like incredibly close. Like...they are all best friends and whenever we get together with them, the main family can make us spouses and guests feel 100% left out. They have their own culture, their own inside jokes, etc.
I knew this a little, but for some reason when it came to the actual wedding I was SO sure they were colluding and taking about me behind my back, to try and have things their way in an attempt to break us up (they didn't really like me at first, not in small part bc of how RUDE I was).
So, I basically refused all help from his family, specifically left out his sisters (did not ask them to be bridesmaids, which was the worst thing I could've done to them), and made a huge deal about what they wanted to wear to the point of making my SIL cry because I told her she couldn't wear a cream dress, even though she was going to wear a colored jacket over it. I am pretty sure my not-so-passive aggressiveness made his mom cry more than once. I'm sure they felt they were losing their son/brother to an absolute witch.
We almost broke up over my just total anger at his family. It was actually my idea, how's that for self-destruction? I was jealous of how close they were and felt like it meant he wasn't close enough to me.
Luckily, he had some serious faith in me that I'm not sure I deserved, probably based in part on the fact that I did not act like this before wedding planning.
I kid you not, the second we were married I felt all of those fears and anger dissipate. I honestly physically felt it go. Since then, I am now super close to his family--closer than I am to my own--and I have sat his sisters down individually and apologized for a) how I acted in general and b) for not asking them to be my bridesmaids. I'm actually planning to have an anniversary photo shoot with them wearing matching dresses as my "bridesmaids". 😊
If I could go back, and I will give this advice to everybody planning a wedding: it really does not matter. I would invite everybody, and not make it some exclusive thing where only the people that "deserve" to be there are given invites, like it's some club. 🙄 I would be way more trusting of people's intentions. I would've spent like a quarter of the money. I would've done the most important thing: gotten over myself. Don't forget the point of the day.
Big. Parenting. Fail.
Am the daughter of a bridezilla. My mum did not invite me or my sister to her 3rd wedding but wanted us to 'help in any way possible' but once we opened our mouths to give an opinion she'd say "you're not even going, why does it matter?" It didn't really affect me much, the wedding was a disaster anyway and they're on the brink of divorce. Also, she kicked out her maid of honor cuz she gained a few pounds after having twins and it was hard to 'get the baby weight off fast enough for the wedding so I clearly couldn't have her in it.'
A wedding ruined over green beans.Giphy
I am a caterer. I have dealt with many bridezillas. This was the most expensive wedding I had catered up to that point. Around 100g.
My favorite one was a bride who went absolutely ape sh*t because she was given cut green beans in the buffet as opposed to French style cut green beans. She was rude to everyone, spent the entire reception screaming at her new spouse, etc. He looked miserable and beaten down at his own wedding.
3 months later, She never made the final payment on the food or the venue. Why? Because she couldn't afford it with her divorce.
Here's what one bride had to say on why Bridezillas happen.
Several people in my wedding referred to me as "the chillest bride." My husband agrees that I was really quite laid back about the whole thing, and it turned out great.
That said, I can completely see why people become bridezillas. Oh my word, the condescension and secrecy that surround wedding planning are completely horrifying. All the prices and policies are a secret until it's time to sign a contract, and then the bride is scrutinized for taking too long to sign or for having too many points of wanting clarification. Every single choice you make is up for criticism. Picked blue dresses? Green is better, blue is overdone. Picked green dresses? The dress color is too close to the color of grass, and that's going to RUIN THE WEDDING. Small centerpieces? You're a cheapskate who doesn't want guests to enjoy themselves. Big centerpieces? You're a showoff who doesn't want guests to talk to each other. Assigned seats? You're bossy and mean. No assigned seats? You don't have clear expectations.
Wedding planning is terrible. There are no right answers. There's no winning. Every single tiny decision (and there are thousands) is up for criticism for months before this big, expensive event.
Someone literally said that it was "okay" that the wedding wasn't "perfect" because it was "the first big event I'd planned." (It was not, but that doesn't matter, and anyway it was pretty close to perfect).
Woah, a groomzilla?!
Late to the party, but my ex husband was the groomzilla. I didn't mind him being more involved than most men because it was my second wedding, but he ended up taking total control. I chose my dress, had say in my band and that was it. The rest was him. The one thing I really really wanted, I had to beg for months for. He finally relented, and then backed out during the ceremony. I'm not easily offended and by the time we got there he had offended me so many times that I really didn't want to go through with it anymore. Had it not been all his parents money, I would have backed out.
It set the tone for the rest of our marriage, which only lasted a couple of years. He completely and utterly owned me. The day he moved out, I just sat on the couch for an hour wondering what to do with myself. I had to re learn who I was, I didn't even know what I liked anymore because I'd spent so long only liking what he told me I liked.
It was like the frog in the slowly boiling water. I knew it was bad, but I didn't realize how bad until I hopped out.
Maybe weddings themselves are the problem.Giphy
Everything around "wedding culture" feels designed to turn lovely, rational, humble women into bridezillas.
I remember being so confused and uncertain about a month before my wedding because we were fighting so much, unusually so for us. I wondered what had happened to the woman I had decided to marry and began to worry that I was ignoring red flags and making a huge mistake. I felt so relieved when on a whim I Googled "fighting before the wedding" and found pages and pages of people having the same experience. I chose to trust in the woman I knew she was, not the person the stress and frustration and anxiety was turning her into. I also talked with her matron of honor / BFF and suggested she might need some girl time. I do not regret those choices.
After the wedding, we both agreed that we should have just eloped.
Don't get it. Supposedly these people have found their soul mate. Be happy with that. Save your money or give it to charity.
So much pressure and so much can go wrong - are bridezillas surprising?
I was a bridezilla.
I had never thought of weddings before. But suddenly I found myself having to plan two weddings in two different continents. In the middle of all this, my father got ill and died and my mother didn't want to cancel the wedding because my father had chosen the date.
I could barely get time off work after having spent all my time off taking care of my father. And I had to coordinate families in two different countries.
So yeah, when the makeup lady cancelled, I had a meltdown. When my great uncle threw a fit at the wedding over some silly thing, I shouted at him. I yelled at my mother because she had her own freaking expectations and wouldn't stop yelling at me. And the f*cking photographer my mother in law had organized was the worst and he had a photoshoot on rocks and weeds when I was in heels an a flowy dress, and I'm annoyed I didn't throw a tantrum because I ended up with hip issues for MONTHS after the photo shoot.
A month after the final wedding, my husband said he was surprised I was such a calm person who was so easygoing, because through the eight months of wedding planning, I was a ball of anxiety. Yeah, no shit.
There's so much pressure to make everything perfect for everyone. I couldn't say no to the ceremonies because both the families absolutely needed those events to meet and bond. So much rides on the bride's choices, the groom just gets a nice suit and chooses the flavor of the cake.
The internet is rooting for you.Giphy
Counting myself lucky that the fiance hasn't acted like a bridezilla this entire 14 month engagement. Countdown is 25 days and fingers are crossed that she doesn't freak the heck out.
Give them a break. Wedding planning is hard y'all.