They say first impressions are the most lasting.
Reddit user, u/i_Fahmy, wanted to know what kills someone's aura when they asked:
What instantly ruins someone's first impression with you?
Crafting a first impression doesn't have to be tricky. All you need to do is be polite, be open to listen to others, and allow others to speak.
Turns out, some people don't know how to do that last part.
Rudely Carrying On
"Interrupting without apologizing"
"I find myself doing this sometimes but to ask questions/try to predict where the story is going as a way to show I'm actually listening instead of staring at my phone and saying "that's crazy" every 3 seconds."
Putting Others Down
"Talking sh-t about an ex, sibling or parent. As a first impression."
"Sh-t talking or gossiping about anyone in general. If someone is just meeting me for the first time and one of the first things they talk about is something that works to put others in a negative light, then that sets off major alarms to me."
Maybe Let Someone Else Speak?
"You're so quiet!"
"First of all, I haven't even had a chance to say anything yet. It's not that I'm quiet, it's that you're dominating the conversation. Second of all, what kind of response are you expecting when you say this? Am I supposed to delve into my deep childhood memories and explain the psychological reasons that I'm not jumping into the conversation? What the f-ck do people expect to hear when they say this?"
Mostly, we want to think the people we're meeting aren't self-serving or annoying. If you immediately make the conversation only about yourself, then odds are you're going to rub everyone else in the conversation the wrong way.
Talk, Talk, Talk, But Only About Themselves
"All statements, no questions. Most of the boring people I know aren't interesting because they aren't interested in anything other than themselves"
You Know What's Even Worse Than THAT?
"One-upping someone else's story"
"Oh man, you know what's even worse than this? This one time I knew a guy who wouldn't even let people finish their stories before interrupting them. Way worse."
"That reminds me of the time I told a way better joke than the guy who made the same joke quieter than me"
Better IRL
"Show offs, clout chasers or people who feel the need to overhype their life on social when in reality they live kinda boring lives"
Chomp, Chomp, Chomp
"Chewing with their mouth open or talking with their mouth full"
"Oh my god this. In a similar vein, mouth breathers."
"The date is over if any of these three things mentioned occur. It's so off putting."
Want to really sink the relationship, personal or professional? Try these out.
No. Just kidding. Don't try these out.
Don't Let It Define You
"People who use mental illness as a personality. I don't mean people who struggle with mental illness, I mean the people who glorify the struggle as an excuse or quirky trait. I struggle myself, but I'll be damned if I use it as an excuse to make people feel sorry for me."
"Speaking as someone who used to use my trauma/depression for making others pity him, I get this. I've learned from my mistakes."
Focused On Someone Else
"Not being able to get off their phone when you're supposed to have their attention"
"This is most common with home repair contractors where there's always another job that "demands attention"
"I have literally gone with other companies simply because the other wouldn't even acknowledge that my time was worth anything"
Considering Anyone "Beneath Them" Is A Big Red Flag
"How they treat people who can't do anything for them. Especially when they're rude to the homeless or janitors."
"I have also seen that in a social context ie people who mistreat those they consider "beneath"them"
"I've seen it a lot from privileged people towards gays, immigrants and women."
@jessicachastain/Instagram
