Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Judge Shows Leniency To Clueless Capitol Rioter Who Thought He Was 'Storming The White House'

Judge Shows Leniency To Clueless Capitol Rioter Who Thought He Was 'Storming The White House'
@ryanjreilly/Twitter
Make us preferred on Google

If you needed a reminder that our criminal justice system often treats people unequally, here you go.

Dimwitted Capitol rioter Douglas Jensen, who thought the U.S. Capitol was the White House, has been granted leniency by a U.S. District judge because of his, well, dimwittedness.


It seems that joining a murderous mob in trying to publicly hang the Vice President and Speaker of the House isn't that big a deal if you don't know your U.S. Capitol from your presidential residence. Then it's just an oopsie, apparently!

Jensen, a QAnon devotee and diehard supporter of former Republican President Donald Trump, was among the first rioters to breach the Capitol--which, just to reiterate, he thought was the White House. He was also part of the group who chased U.S. Capitol Police Officer Eugene Goodman through the building.

But U.S. District Judge Timothy J. Kelly didn't seem to feel that conduct held much weight. While he stressed that Jensen's actions were serious, he felt his danger to society could be mitigated by a simple home confinement due to his ignorance about the basic rudiments of the United States government.

In a moment that will surely live forever in infamy, Jensen videoed himself before storming the Capitol, touching his hands to the exterior wall of the U.S. Capitol while saying:

"This is me, touching the fu*king White House."

It was not, for the record. This was followed by another video, in which Jensen yelled:

"Storm the White House! That's what we do!"

nathan fillion castle GIFGiphy

According to Judge Kelly, Jensen's ignorance means he couldn't possibly have premeditated his actions on January 6 because he "had no basic understanding of where he even was."

Quick question: Who makes you want to bash your head against a wall until the sweet release of unconsciousness consumes you more, Mr. Jensen, or Judge Kelly?

Now to be fair, pretrial release is the standard procedure under federal law in all but the most gravely serious criminal cases. But that, of course, wasn't the stated reason Judge Kelly gave for his leniency with Jensen.

One could also argue that breaking into the seat of government with a murderous mob yelling for the execution of government officials is a pretty gravely serious crime, even if the person doing it is a dumb-dumb and got the address wrong. But maybe that's just

Anyway, here's a fun fact shared for absolutely no reason whatsoever: As of 2017 there were at least 75 people, most of whom are Black, serving life or de facto life prison sentences for non-violent crimes related to marijuana. Guess those people should have stormed the Capitol while being White and not knowing where they were, instead!

Anyway, if this story has you screaming into the night in boundless rage, you're not alone--many people on Twitter were outraged by Judge Kelly's nonsense.







Of course, many others couldn't help but roast Jensen for not being the sharpest tool in the shed.





Jensen will be under the care of his wife while he awaits his trial date.

More from People/donald-trump

Cher and Bob Mackie
Valerie Macon/AFP via Getty Images

Cher Leads Poignant Tributes To Iconic Fashion Designer Bob Mackie After His Death At 87

On September 14, designer Bob Mackie passed away. While he did design clothing collections and accessories available to the masses, Mackie was best known as an icon who designed for icons.

Tina Turner, Dolly Parton, Bette Midler, Elton John, and Diana Ross were among the legendary names Mackie designed for.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Trump Epically Fact-Checked After Claiming More People Watched His GOP Midterm Convention Than NFL Opener

President Donald Trump was swiftly fact-checked after he claimed that his recent midterm convention "beat the NFL" in viewership, referring to the 2025-26 season kickoff game between the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots.

Trump spoke for nearly two hours that night, with his address airing live on Fox News as well as the Nielsen-rated cable networks Newsmax and NewsNation.

Keep ReadingShow less
Stephen Colbert; Donald Trump
Frederic J. Brown/AFP via Getty Images; Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Stephen Colbert Had Hilarious Reaction After Being Asked About Trump Following Emmy Win

After taking home six Emmys, including for Outstanding Variety Series, comedian Stephen Colbert had the perfect reaction after he was asked if he thought that President Donald Trump got The Late Show canceled.

Colbert was approached backstage by Variety’s Ramin Setoodeh, who asked if Colbert believes his show "was canceled because of Donald Trump?” Colbert merely said, "What?" and turned instead to CNN’s Elizabeth Wagmeister.

Keep ReadingShow less
Kash Patel; Cory Booker
Win McNamee/Getty Images (left and right)

Cory Booker Compares 'Disgrace' Kash Patel To Failed Frat Boy In Epic Rant During Heated Senate Hearing

New Jersey Democratic Senator Cory Booker lost his patience with FBI Director Kash Patel during his testimony in the Senate on Tuesday and called him a "disgrace" while also reserving other pointed criticism toward Republicans as a whole.

Booker accused Patel of overseeing the "generational destruction of the nation's premier law enforcement agency" during testimony in which Patel claimed there is "no credible information" to prove the late financer, sex trafficker, and pedophile Jeffrey Epstein trafficked victims to anyone other than himself.

Keep ReadingShow less
Katie Dippold at Apple TV's Primetime Emmy Party Red Carpet held at Nya Studios West.
JC Olivera/Variety via Getty Images

Emmy-Winning 'Widow's Bay' Creator Went Viral Years Ago With Hilarious Halloween Photo—And Fans Are Obsessed

Forget lifting the curse on Widow’s Bay. After its night at the Emmys, Katie Dippold and company might want to keep whatever supernatural forces are working in their favor.

Apple TV’s horror-comedy premiered in April and stars Matthew Rhys as Tom Loftis, the mayor of a small island town off the coast of New England. Determined to transform Widow’s Bay into a tourist destination, Loftis presses ahead despite locals warning that its sleepy seaside charm comes with some decidedly sinister baggage.

Keep ReadingShow less