Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Judge Shows Leniency To Clueless Capitol Rioter Who Thought He Was 'Storming The White House'

Judge Shows Leniency To Clueless Capitol Rioter Who Thought He Was 'Storming The White House'
@ryanjreilly/Twitter
Make us preferred on Google

If you needed a reminder that our criminal justice system often treats people unequally, here you go.

Dimwitted Capitol rioter Douglas Jensen, who thought the U.S. Capitol was the White House, has been granted leniency by a U.S. District judge because of his, well, dimwittedness.


It seems that joining a murderous mob in trying to publicly hang the Vice President and Speaker of the House isn't that big a deal if you don't know your U.S. Capitol from your presidential residence. Then it's just an oopsie, apparently!

Jensen, a QAnon devotee and diehard supporter of former Republican President Donald Trump, was among the first rioters to breach the Capitol--which, just to reiterate, he thought was the White House. He was also part of the group who chased U.S. Capitol Police Officer Eugene Goodman through the building.

But U.S. District Judge Timothy J. Kelly didn't seem to feel that conduct held much weight. While he stressed that Jensen's actions were serious, he felt his danger to society could be mitigated by a simple home confinement due to his ignorance about the basic rudiments of the United States government.

In a moment that will surely live forever in infamy, Jensen videoed himself before storming the Capitol, touching his hands to the exterior wall of the U.S. Capitol while saying:

"This is me, touching the fu*king White House."

It was not, for the record. This was followed by another video, in which Jensen yelled:

"Storm the White House! That's what we do!"

nathan fillion castle GIFGiphy

According to Judge Kelly, Jensen's ignorance means he couldn't possibly have premeditated his actions on January 6 because he "had no basic understanding of where he even was."

Quick question: Who makes you want to bash your head against a wall until the sweet release of unconsciousness consumes you more, Mr. Jensen, or Judge Kelly?

Now to be fair, pretrial release is the standard procedure under federal law in all but the most gravely serious criminal cases. But that, of course, wasn't the stated reason Judge Kelly gave for his leniency with Jensen.

One could also argue that breaking into the seat of government with a murderous mob yelling for the execution of government officials is a pretty gravely serious crime, even if the person doing it is a dumb-dumb and got the address wrong. But maybe that's just

Anyway, here's a fun fact shared for absolutely no reason whatsoever: As of 2017 there were at least 75 people, most of whom are Black, serving life or de facto life prison sentences for non-violent crimes related to marijuana. Guess those people should have stormed the Capitol while being White and not knowing where they were, instead!

Anyway, if this story has you screaming into the night in boundless rage, you're not alone--many people on Twitter were outraged by Judge Kelly's nonsense.







Of course, many others couldn't help but roast Jensen for not being the sharpest tool in the shed.





Jensen will be under the care of his wife while he awaits his trial date.

More from People/donald-trump

Pete Hegseth
Jim Watson/AFP via Getty Images

Pete Hegseth's Past Comments About Hygiene Resurface After He's Caught On Video Running His Snotty Hands Through His Hair

Remarks about not having washed his hands "in 10 years" resurfaced after Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth was caught on video wiping his nose with his hands before immediately running those same hands through his hair.

Hegseth was seen doing just that while listening to Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent deliver remarks. Footage went viral after it was shared by progressive journalist Aaron Rupar.

Keep ReadingShow less
John Hinckley Jr. (left) shares a new message for Jodie Foster (right) 45 years after the assassination attempt on President Ronald Reagan.
The Mark Joseph Show/YouTube; Gary Gershoff/WireImage

John Hinckley Jr. Shares New Message For Jodie Foster 45 Years After Shooting Ronald Reagan To Impress Her

Some Hollywood stories fade with time. The disturbing history connecting Jodie Foster and John Hinckley Jr. is not one of them. For those who don’t know, on March 30, 1981, Hinckley waited outside the Washington Hilton in Washington, D.C., where President Ronald Reagan had just addressed 5,000 members of the AFL-CIO.

As Reagan emerged from the hotel, Hinckley fired six shots from a revolver. One bullet ricocheted off Reagan’s limousine and struck him beneath his arm. White House Press Secretary James Brady, police officer Thomas Delahanty and Secret Service agent Timothy McCarthy were also wounded.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump; Scott MacFarlane
Jim Watson/AFP via Getty Images; CNN

Journalist Reveals Just How Much Money Has Been Diverted From National Parks For Trump's Vanity Projects—And People Are Livid

In a series of articles for MacFarlane News and MeidasTouch, videos, and an appearance on CNN, Chief Washington Correspondent for MeidasTouch Scott MacFarlane blew the whistle on MAGA Republican President Donald Trump’s raiding of National Park Service (NPS) funds. Aided by his Interior Secretary Doug Burgum, Trump diverted NPS money to pay for all of his White House and Washington D.C. vanity projects.

Trump’s hand-selected, mostly unwanted and unnecessary White House grounds and National Mall projects—things like a botched reflecting pool resurfacing, golden decor, a helipad, a ballroom, gilded statues, and giant flagpoles—alone took $423 million from major national parks across the country.

Keep ReadingShow less
Woman using hair tie
aire images/Getty Images

Engaged Woman Sparks Theories After Finding Strange Hair Tie Near Her And Fiancé's Home Entryway

Finding out that your partner is cheating doesn't always have to involve accidentally seeing a nefarious text message or walking in on the act. But sometimes, signs of what could be cheating might have a far stranger explanation.

Posting in the "Girl Dinner Diaries" subReddit, Redditor Jack-of-not posted a photo of an open-faced sandwich and explained what she'd discovered:

Keep ReadingShow less
Jenna Ortega
Esquire/X

Jenna Ortega Reveals Heartbreaking Reason She'd Go 'All Day' Without Eating Or Drinking On Set As Child Actor

During an interview with Esquire, Wednesday star Jenna Ortega admitted that she didn't recall any mistakes she made as a childhood star, and that might be the exact problem.

Though she's best-known now for her role in Wednesday, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, and even Yes Day, Ortega's career began years before that when she lived out in the Coachella Desert.

Keep ReadingShow less