Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Judge Shows Leniency To Clueless Capitol Rioter Who Thought He Was 'Storming The White House'

Judge Shows Leniency To Clueless Capitol Rioter Who Thought He Was 'Storming The White House'
@ryanjreilly/Twitter

If you needed a reminder that our criminal justice system often treats people unequally, here you go.

Dimwitted Capitol rioter Douglas Jensen, who thought the U.S. Capitol was the White House, has been granted leniency by a U.S. District judge because of his, well, dimwittedness.


It seems that joining a murderous mob in trying to publicly hang the Vice President and Speaker of the House isn't that big a deal if you don't know your U.S. Capitol from your presidential residence. Then it's just an oopsie, apparently!

Jensen, a QAnon devotee and diehard supporter of former Republican President Donald Trump, was among the first rioters to breach the Capitol--which, just to reiterate, he thought was the White House. He was also part of the group who chased U.S. Capitol Police Officer Eugene Goodman through the building.

But U.S. District Judge Timothy J. Kelly didn't seem to feel that conduct held much weight. While he stressed that Jensen's actions were serious, he felt his danger to society could be mitigated by a simple home confinement due to his ignorance about the basic rudiments of the United States government.

In a moment that will surely live forever in infamy, Jensen videoed himself before storming the Capitol, touching his hands to the exterior wall of the U.S. Capitol while saying:

"This is me, touching the fu*king White House."

It was not, for the record. This was followed by another video, in which Jensen yelled:

"Storm the White House! That's what we do!"

nathan fillion castle GIFGiphy

According to Judge Kelly, Jensen's ignorance means he couldn't possibly have premeditated his actions on January 6 because he "had no basic understanding of where he even was."

Quick question: Who makes you want to bash your head against a wall until the sweet release of unconsciousness consumes you more, Mr. Jensen, or Judge Kelly?

Now to be fair, pretrial release is the standard procedure under federal law in all but the most gravely serious criminal cases. But that, of course, wasn't the stated reason Judge Kelly gave for his leniency with Jensen.

One could also argue that breaking into the seat of government with a murderous mob yelling for the execution of government officials is a pretty gravely serious crime, even if the person doing it is a dumb-dumb and got the address wrong. But maybe that's just

Anyway, here's a fun fact shared for absolutely no reason whatsoever: As of 2017 there were at least 75 people, most of whom are Black, serving life or de facto life prison sentences for non-violent crimes related to marijuana. Guess those people should have stormed the Capitol while being White and not knowing where they were, instead!

Anyway, if this story has you screaming into the night in boundless rage, you're not alone--many people on Twitter were outraged by Judge Kelly's nonsense.







Of course, many others couldn't help but roast Jensen for not being the sharpest tool in the shed.





Jensen will be under the care of his wife while he awaits his trial date.

More from People/donald-trump

Sylvester Stallone and Jennifer Flavin Stallone
Bryan Steffy/Getty Images for amfAR

Sylvester Stallone's Wife Ripped For Her Bizarre Comments About Trans Kids In Hollywood

Sylvester Stallone’s wife, Jennifer Flavin, sat down with Stephen Miller's wife, Katie, for an appearance on an episode of the conservative, right-wing The Katie Miller Podcast.

Flavin, who married Stallone in 1997, gave her unqualified opinion about why some celebrities have transgender children. Despite having no experience or training in psychology or medicine, the former model—who began her relationship with Stallone when she was 19 and the action star was in his 40s—opined that celebrity parents’ children are transgender because of a lack of “structure” in their lives.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of MAGA woman from viral TikTok
@therobbieharvey/TikTok

MAGA Woman Berates Couple For Speaking Spanish At Missouri Pizza Hut Because 'English Is The Capital Of America'

A woman at a Pizza Hut in Gladstone, Missouri, went viral when she was asked to leave after she was caught on video berating a couple for speaking Spanish instead of English, declaring that she's "standing up for America" because "English is the capital of America."

The couple are Puerto Ricans—born U.S. citizens—but that wasn't enough for the unidentified woman, who told them they should "go back there" and insisted they were Mexican while continuing to push back even after a restaurant employee moved to kick her out.

Keep ReadingShow less
Karoline Leavitt
Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Karoline Leavitt Dragged For Laughably Juvenile Text Reply To Journalist's Question

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt was criticized after she shared a text exchange she'd had with Huffington Post reporter S.V. Dáte in which she gave a laughably juvenile response to his question about who chose Budapest for President Donald Trump's now-canceled meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Trump announced last week that he and Putin planned to meet in Budapest within two weeks to discuss the war in Ukraine. A preparatory meeting between U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov had been scheduled for this week, but the White House said the two instead spoke by phone and that an in-person meeting was no longer “necessary.”

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Sean Hannity and George Santos
Fox News

Sean Hannity Asked George Santos If He'll Pay Back Money He Stole—And His Answer Says It All

Disgraced former New York Republican Representative George Santos didn't surprise a soul after he gave Fox News personality Sean Hannity a waffling answer when asked if he'll still pay back the hundreds of thousands of dollars he stole from victims of his financial schemes.

Santos' short-lived political career was derailed by allegations of fabricating his background, misusing campaign funds for luxury items and Botox, and leaving a trail of victims behind him as a known fraud and identity thief. He received a seven-year sentence for crimes that the U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of New York argued “made a mockery” of the electoral process.

Keep ReadingShow less
man in white dress shirt and woman in red top
Gama. Films on Unsplash

Married Couples With Double Incomes And No Kids Reveal How Their Lives Are Going

The term DINK stands for "Double Income, No Kids." It refers to a growing number couples choosing not to have kids while both partners work full-time. DINKS cite financial concerns, increasing costs of raising children, and the desire for personal freedom.

Two incomes with no children provides more disposable income for travel, hobbies, and investments. DINKs generally have a higher net worth compared to people with kids and can focus on career development.

Keep ReadingShow less