Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Judge Shows Leniency To Clueless Capitol Rioter Who Thought He Was 'Storming The White House'

Judge Shows Leniency To Clueless Capitol Rioter Who Thought He Was 'Storming The White House'
@ryanjreilly/Twitter
Make us preferred on Google

If you needed a reminder that our criminal justice system often treats people unequally, here you go.

Dimwitted Capitol rioter Douglas Jensen, who thought the U.S. Capitol was the White House, has been granted leniency by a U.S. District judge because of his, well, dimwittedness.


It seems that joining a murderous mob in trying to publicly hang the Vice President and Speaker of the House isn't that big a deal if you don't know your U.S. Capitol from your presidential residence. Then it's just an oopsie, apparently!

Jensen, a QAnon devotee and diehard supporter of former Republican President Donald Trump, was among the first rioters to breach the Capitol--which, just to reiterate, he thought was the White House. He was also part of the group who chased U.S. Capitol Police Officer Eugene Goodman through the building.

But U.S. District Judge Timothy J. Kelly didn't seem to feel that conduct held much weight. While he stressed that Jensen's actions were serious, he felt his danger to society could be mitigated by a simple home confinement due to his ignorance about the basic rudiments of the United States government.

In a moment that will surely live forever in infamy, Jensen videoed himself before storming the Capitol, touching his hands to the exterior wall of the U.S. Capitol while saying:

"This is me, touching the fu*king White House."

It was not, for the record. This was followed by another video, in which Jensen yelled:

"Storm the White House! That's what we do!"

nathan fillion castle GIFGiphy

According to Judge Kelly, Jensen's ignorance means he couldn't possibly have premeditated his actions on January 6 because he "had no basic understanding of where he even was."

Quick question: Who makes you want to bash your head against a wall until the sweet release of unconsciousness consumes you more, Mr. Jensen, or Judge Kelly?

Now to be fair, pretrial release is the standard procedure under federal law in all but the most gravely serious criminal cases. But that, of course, wasn't the stated reason Judge Kelly gave for his leniency with Jensen.

One could also argue that breaking into the seat of government with a murderous mob yelling for the execution of government officials is a pretty gravely serious crime, even if the person doing it is a dumb-dumb and got the address wrong. But maybe that's just

Anyway, here's a fun fact shared for absolutely no reason whatsoever: As of 2017 there were at least 75 people, most of whom are Black, serving life or de facto life prison sentences for non-violent crimes related to marijuana. Guess those people should have stormed the Capitol while being White and not knowing where they were, instead!

Anyway, if this story has you screaming into the night in boundless rage, you're not alone--many people on Twitter were outraged by Judge Kelly's nonsense.







Of course, many others couldn't help but roast Jensen for not being the sharpest tool in the shed.





Jensen will be under the care of his wife while he awaits his trial date.

More from People/donald-trump

Screenshot of Abby Philip and Scott Jennings
CNN

CNN Just Played A Montage Of Trump Attacking Women To Call Out Scott Jennings' Selective Outrage—And His Reaction Speaks Volumes

After conservative commentator Scott Jennings tried to cry foul over Georgia Democratic Senator Jon Ossoff's quip about President Donald Trump's problematic relationship with his aide Natalie Harp, CNN highlighted his selective outrage by playing a montage of Trump attacking various women.

Ossoff drew attention to the Trump-Harp relationship while discussing U.S. Navy sailors who have complained about the conditions aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, which has been deployed in the Middle East since November of 2025.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Donald Trump
Fox News

Trump Dragged After Bragging That He's 'Very Good At Flagpoles' In Bizarre Video

President Donald Trump was widely mocked after randomly boasting that he's "very good at flagpoles" while discussing his various White House construction projects with members of the press.

Trump, per CNN's Kasie Hunt, "spent 32 minutes… explaining in painstaking detail the changes that he’s bringing to the People’s House.” And at one point, he bragged about the “two beautiful flag poles on both sides of the White House.”

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Sean Hannity with Darline Graham during broadcast
Fox News

Sean Hannity Hit With Brutal Reminder After He Defends Darline Graham's Lack Of National Security Knowledge

Fox News personality Sean Hannity was called out for his hypocrisy after defending Republican Senate candidate Darline Graham's stunning debate admission that "national security is not my thing."

Last month, Darline Graham was appointed by Governor Henry McMaster to temporarily fill the Senate seat previously occupied by her brother, the late Senator Lindsey Graham. President Donald Trump backed her candidacy for a full six-year term.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @Rainmaker1973's video
@Rainmaker1973/X

Man At Beach With Metal Detector Becomes Internet Hero After Helping Woman Find Her Lost Engagement Ring

As beautiful as sandy beaches are, they're like quicksand for jewelry and keys, so if someone drops their ring or necklace or house key into the sand, there's a pretty good chance that it's gone forever.

Fortunately for one engaged couple, a man was using his metal detector and was able to help when the woman dropped her engagement ring in the sand.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @ocjusticeinitiative's Instagram video
@ocjusticeinitiative/Instagram

Indian-American Man Floored After Stranger Gives Him Racist 'Compliment' In Infuriating Viral Video

Sometimes, people are so racist, it's hard to tell if they're just that hatefully racist, or if they're intentionally trying to bait innocent people for views.

A woman approached an Indian-American man in a restaurant while he was enjoying a meal with his daughters, and she pretended to compliment him—but it was totally backhanded.

Keep ReadingShow less