Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Judge Shows Leniency To Clueless Capitol Rioter Who Thought He Was 'Storming The White House'

Judge Shows Leniency To Clueless Capitol Rioter Who Thought He Was 'Storming The White House'
@ryanjreilly/Twitter

If you needed a reminder that our criminal justice system often treats people unequally, here you go.

Dimwitted Capitol rioter Douglas Jensen, who thought the U.S. Capitol was the White House, has been granted leniency by a U.S. District judge because of his, well, dimwittedness.


It seems that joining a murderous mob in trying to publicly hang the Vice President and Speaker of the House isn't that big a deal if you don't know your U.S. Capitol from your presidential residence. Then it's just an oopsie, apparently!

Jensen, a QAnon devotee and diehard supporter of former Republican President Donald Trump, was among the first rioters to breach the Capitol--which, just to reiterate, he thought was the White House. He was also part of the group who chased U.S. Capitol Police Officer Eugene Goodman through the building.

But U.S. District Judge Timothy J. Kelly didn't seem to feel that conduct held much weight. While he stressed that Jensen's actions were serious, he felt his danger to society could be mitigated by a simple home confinement due to his ignorance about the basic rudiments of the United States government.

In a moment that will surely live forever in infamy, Jensen videoed himself before storming the Capitol, touching his hands to the exterior wall of the U.S. Capitol while saying:

"This is me, touching the fu*king White House."

It was not, for the record. This was followed by another video, in which Jensen yelled:

"Storm the White House! That's what we do!"

nathan fillion castle GIFGiphy

According to Judge Kelly, Jensen's ignorance means he couldn't possibly have premeditated his actions on January 6 because he "had no basic understanding of where he even was."

Quick question: Who makes you want to bash your head against a wall until the sweet release of unconsciousness consumes you more, Mr. Jensen, or Judge Kelly?

Now to be fair, pretrial release is the standard procedure under federal law in all but the most gravely serious criminal cases. But that, of course, wasn't the stated reason Judge Kelly gave for his leniency with Jensen.

One could also argue that breaking into the seat of government with a murderous mob yelling for the execution of government officials is a pretty gravely serious crime, even if the person doing it is a dumb-dumb and got the address wrong. But maybe that's just

Anyway, here's a fun fact shared for absolutely no reason whatsoever: As of 2017 there were at least 75 people, most of whom are Black, serving life or de facto life prison sentences for non-violent crimes related to marijuana. Guess those people should have stormed the Capitol while being White and not knowing where they were, instead!

Anyway, if this story has you screaming into the night in boundless rage, you're not alone--many people on Twitter were outraged by Judge Kelly's nonsense.







Of course, many others couldn't help but roast Jensen for not being the sharpest tool in the shed.





Jensen will be under the care of his wife while he awaits his trial date.

More from People/donald-trump

JD Vance's Attempt At A Joke About AOC Completely Bombed—And AOC Just Came In For The Kill
@atrupar/X; Sean Gallup/Getty Images

JD Vance's Attempt At A Joke About AOC Completely Bombed—And AOC Just Came In For The Kill

After Vice President JD Vance completely bombed a joke about New York Democratic Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez during a Board of Peace press conference, Ocasio-Cortez mocked him in a post on X.

President Donald Trump debuted the Board of Peace during last month's World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, presenting it as a body meant to manage the next stage of his proposed peace plan for Gaza.

Keep ReadingShow less
Karoline Leavitt
Saul Loeb/AFP via Getty Images

Karoline Leavitt Gets Awkward Reminder After Claiming Anything On Truth Social Is 'Directly From President Trump'

During the Wednesday press briefing, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt directly contradicted her boss, MAGA Republican President Donald Trump.

Leavitt told the White House press corps:

Keep ReadingShow less
Keke Palmer attends the 8th Annual American Black Film Festival Honors at SLS Hotel.
Savion Washington/WireImage via Getty Images

Keke Palmer Explains Why She's 'Almost 100% Sure' She's Asexual In Candid Post—And Fans Are Here For Her

Keke Palmer had the internet talking after revealing she is “almost 100 percent sure” that she’s asexual. The Emmy-winning actress shared the revelation in a sultry Valentine’s Day Instagram post featuring a chic pixie cut, a champagne-toned halter corset top, a thin gold necklace, and stud earrings.

But while the photos turned heads, it was her caption that sparked the conversation.

Keep ReadingShow less
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups; Brad Reese's Open Letter to Todd Scott
Julia Ewan/TWP/Getty Images; Brad Reese/LinkedIn

Grandson Of Reese's Founder Shames Hershey Co. For 'Replacing' Candy's Iconic Ingredients In Powerful Open Letter

Brad Reese, the grandson of H.B. Reese, who invented Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, is now speaking up about the quality of the product and his grandfather's original promise: real peanut butter and real milk chocolate.

When H.B. Reese invented the deliciously simple candy, he pointed out that using real ingredients wasn't a marketing tactic for him; it was a promise to the consumer that they knew what they were eating, and that what they were eating was real food.

Keep ReadingShow less
Elon Musk
Harun Ozalp/Anadolu via Getty Images

X User Asks What The First Thing You'd Do If You 'Wake Up As Elon Musk'—And Everyone Had The Same Idea

Billionaire Elon Musk was widely mocked on his own platform after X user @buffys opened a veritable Pandora's box by asking what people would do if they woke up as him one day.

The question was simple:

Keep ReadingShow less