A divorce lawyer who made a TikTok video explaining "Why men should always pay on the first date" has sparked a debate in the comments.
Justin Lee, a divorce attorney from Toronto who shares his insight about marital relationships on social media and goes by @jleejd on TikTok, said that offering to pay for someone they don't know on a first date is the "best litmus test.”
He claims the conventional gesture is an effective way for a guy to determine who the person they're sitting across from really is.
You can hear his debated theory, here.
Lee said guys–presumably who are heterosexual and date women–paying on the first date was for "our own good" and that "the issue isn't tied to the amount of money" guys are spending at the end of the day.
If that was a concern, he quipped they should "respectfully get a job."
He continued:
“The issue is when we end up paying for someone who has this real sense of entitlement. Like this expectation that we will pay."
"That's precisely why we need to always pay."
His reasoning is that the person you're out on the date with could very well end up being the one they marry.
Lee said it is very telling when a guy offers to pay and the "date just sits there as if that's the obvious course of action"–which according to Lee is an indication the date is an "entitled" person.
So what was learned, here?
Lee said:
“[That they] have, frankly, the audacity to expect a near-stranger to pay for them".
"Just imagine how someone like that will treat their significant other.”
Many agreed.
@jleejd/TikTok
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Some mentioned there was an exception to the rule.
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Others weighed in with their thoughts.
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@jleejd/TikTok
To those who may have missed his point of the video, Lee further elaborated in the comments:
"It’s not about who actually ends up paying, as much as it is about respecting and appreciating the gesture."
"As I said in the video, men will gladly pay - the payment isn’t the issue. The issue is when women perceive the payment as an obligation as opposed to a kind gesture."
"Entitled vs Appreciative. No one owes anybody anything! And for the record, this isn’t gender specific - any man or woman who feels entitled in anyway towards the other is a walking red flag."
