The Craziest Things People Have Overheard On A Plane

Planes, trains, automobiles... stuck in any conversation in a small space can drive anyone overboard.

Pull Over

"A 5-year-old boy once said 'Dad, can you ask them to pull over so I can go to the toilet? Haha."

RonnyLuvsU

Sweetie...

"There was this kid behind me that kept telling her dad she lost her tooth and the dad was disgruntledly trying to find it, and some guy nearby said 'Hey kid, I hear if you lose your tooth on a plane, the tooth fairy gives you 50 bucks' to which the dad replied, 'Hey look, sweetie, the tooth fairy decided to sit next to us on the plane!'"

monkeysolo69420

POOP

"Everyone is boarded and the plane is in the middle of the taxi when a kid about 10 seats up and on the left side (I was on the right side) starts crying and screaming at the top of his lungs 'I NEED TO POOP' and 'I'M GOING TO POOP' over and over again until the seatbelt signs came off. I've never seen so many worried faces and the look of panic as the mother picked up the kid and bolted to the toilet."

cmcorms

Dishelved

"I am a pilot for a major airline. Decades ago I was running for a deadhead flight home and managed to snag the last seat. A mother and young daughter were seated next to me. Halfway through the flight the mother, seeing my disheveled look after flying all day, asked if I wanted her daughter's PB&J sandwich that she wasn’t going to eat. I politely declined, but she insisted. That was the best Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich I’d ever had!"

Delicious_Ad8201

Gaslighting

"The lady beside me told me that she was farting a lot, and she didn’t care about telling me because she wouldn’t see me again."

Pawpaw-22

Is a little social grace too much to ask?

Gotcha

"A guy coming home early to bust a cheating wife. He was on the phone with a friend/family who told him the other guy was at his house and they didn't expect him back until the next week."

mauore11

Fiji

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've been facing some strong headwinds and... it appears we burned up a little more fuel than we anticipated so we will be making a diversion to Fiji."

"This was flying from the US to Australia in a 747. I had seen on the trip map that we had been flying in the wrong direction for like 2+ hours."

"When we did land we landed hard and they told us that because of the landing we had to sit on the ground with the engines off in Fiji in the summer while technicians looked at the plane."

"When we were airborne again, our destination was fogged out and we diverted from Sydney to Melbourne. I don't ever want to spend 26 hours on a plane again."

thrax_mador

Up in the Air

"I was flying to Seattle from Atlanta and there was a baby crying for the majority of the flight. The parents were doing their best and it really was not their fault, just a shi**y situation. About halfway to Seattle, the man seated in front of the baby snapped and started screaming at the baby and his parents, cursing at them saying how they’re awful parents... when they land."

"The pilot had to come on and tell everyone to calm down, or else we had to make an early landing. We made it to Seattle and the guy ended up having to be tackled by 4 cops at the gate because he was trying to run away after being approached by them."

_surya_p_

TMI

"I was sitting next to a dad and his daughter who was about 5. He was super cool and was chatting away while his daughter started talking to me. She was so sweet and bubbly. And gave wayyy too much information to me. She said something along the lines of 'I went to my grandma and grandpa's house and they're married, I wish my dad would marry my mom but they can't talk to each other but I always wish they were married like my grandma, and grandpa.' Her dad would have been horrified. And I was just sad."

lpcoolj1

Conversion

"Two Mormon missionaries trying to convert the sweet, naive man sitting between them the entire flight."

floweringsouls

This is why I never leave home without headphones and music.

Appropriate conversation is dead.