Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Adults Share The Most Depressing Way To Describe Their Jobs, And We're Dying

Miserable at work? You're not alone, so let's laugh at it. Think of the most depressing aspect of your work. Someone has it worse, and now you can feel better about yourself. You're welcome.

NecessaryZombie asked working misers of Reddit: What's the most depressing way you can describe your job?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


The woe of payroll, perhaps.

Giphy

I constantly stare at the screen making sure people get paid more than me.

1300-71992-488

I'm so sorry.

I'm a web developer.

trashpandalov3r

Life insurance FTW.

Giphy

I reward people with money when their loved ones die.

Ronald__Dump

Gotta learn somehow.

I force students to use their non-existent English skills by pretending I don't speak their native language.

stereovictrola

That's what Reddit is for.

It's 8:17 and I'm already done with actual work but have to sit here until 5 anyway.

daandilion

Those poor, poor IT specialists. Oy vey.

Giphy

If you took a second to google the problem, I'd lose 75% of my workload.

Red-pop

Literally programming yourself into obscurity.

The company doesn't want to pay people to mindlessly press buttons all day so I write scripts that mindlessly press buttons for me, then watch as the computer accomplishes in five minutes what would take me an entire day to get done.

Then every once in a while they tell me to make the computer mindlessly press some buttons but I can't, so I have to spend the rest of my day pretending I'm the computer.

theonlydidymus

Someone has to keep people like me away.

I go to a construction site all night and sit and watch a fence till the sun comes up.

RyMillions

Too much?

Giphy

Occasionally I sit in a chair and get called the devil by little old ladies who believe they're in hell. More often I'm a professional a** wiper.

kim-jong-the-illest-

Any guesses?

I use very subjective and limited information to determine if people are lying to me, and my performance is based solely on whether or not my coworkers agree with my decision.

mr_heathcliffe

Delivery driver of some sort?

I deliver poisonous food to lazy people who are often overweight and otherwise sick from eating the wrong thing. I drive in some of the most dangerous traffic in America (Dallas, TX). My first year on the job some teenagers plowed into the front wheel of my car while I had the right-of-way in a parking lot, a few days before Christmas. A few weeks ago a big orange traffic barrel rolled right out in front of me and I was forced to swerve into an under-construction entrance ramp in order to avoid being in a huge accident.

Killashandra19

People who work in retail have stomachs made of stone.

Giphy

I'm at the mercy of suits and plebs at least 50, mostly closer to 60 hours a week. I'm a retail manager. The suits are always pressuring for better efficiency and goal hitting while the plebs are pissed eggs went up 10 cents and want to return an item they bought 7 years ago but don't have their receipt.

girlbboss

An editor, perhaps?

I have to check the work of people much smarter than I am to make sure they don't make stupid, stupid mistakes.

If I miss one of the stupid mistakes, I'm the one who gets in trouble, not the smart person who made the stupid mistake in the first place.

shaidyn

This is deep, for a signmaker.

I arrange shapes and colors in an attempt to communicate a message, but also to make it pleasing and/or intrusive to the viewer, depending on the context. Sometimes this kills the soul piece by piece, other times it makes me feel powerful because people like me have already gotten to you and messed with your brain in ways some of you possibly can't comprehend, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Horrible side effects working with it include, but are not limited to: never being able to look at packaging/signs/menus/posters etc the same way as before, and becoming somewhat of an arrogant dick that people don't much care for, for reasons they might not even get themselves. But then I have to remind them that it's because of people like me that they might get out of a building on fire safely, and/or get out of accidents etc with their lives and limbs intact too.

MacheteDont

We have a winner.

Giphy

Hotel housekeeping. If it comes out of the human body, I've cleaned it up. I started in a by-the-hour motel when I was 14, owned by a woman who didn't bother with hazardous waste procedure and cleaned up what looked like a murder scene with nothing but bleach and kitchen gloves. I walked into that room, and was absolutely positive that when I pulled the shower curtain open there was going to be a body in the bathtub. Thankfully there wasn't, just blood everywhere. Owner refused to let me report it, made me clean it, and I didn't want to get in shit for bleaching a murder scene at 14 so I never did call the cops.

chalkyard

More from Trending

Mariah Carey as Morticia Addams; Carey in red Santa outfit
@mariahcarey/Instagram

Mariah Carey Channels Morticia Addams In Video Declaring 'It's Time' For The Holiday Season

Pop diva Mariah Carey wasted no time heralding in the winter festivities on November 1 with a fun video partnering with Kay Jewelers Instagram.

For the promo clip's opening black-and-white sequence, the "It's a Wrap" singer channeled Morticia Addams from The Addams Family in a long black dress, a cascading black wig, and a diamond necklace courtesy of Kay Jewelers.

Keep ReadingShow less
A man yelling into a phone
man holding telephone screaming
Photo by Icons8 Team on Unsplash

People Reveal The Dumbest Reasons Why Someone Got Mad At Them

Patience is a virtue.

A virtue that, sadly, far too few people are blessed with.

Keep ReadingShow less
RFK Jr., Donald Trump, Kamala Harris
Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images; Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Harris Had The Perfect Response After Trump Said RFK Jr. Will Be 'In Charge Of Women's Health'

Vice President Kamala Harris had the perfect short and sweet response to former President Donald Trump's announcement that he would put RFK Jr. in charge of "women's health" if reelected.

Speaking at a rally in Nevada in the final days leading up to the election, Trump said:

Keep ReadingShow less
lake through window during rain
Tommy Bond on Unsplash

People Describe The Most Depressing Travel Destinations They Ever Visited

Sometimes, when we travel, we go somewhere with a lot of hype and are disappointed. Other times, we're going to a place of historic significance with a past of tragedy and trauma.

Sometimes, our travels are work or humanitarian aid-related.

Keep ReadingShow less
JD Vance
Jimmy Kimmel Live/YouTube

JD Vance Slammed For Bizarre Rant About Kids Turning Trans To Get Into College

Things really aren't going very well for the Trump-Vance campaign, and JD Vance seems to think he knows exactly how to solve it—saying more weird stuff about trans people!

During Vance's recent appearance on Joe Rogan's podcast, Vance introduced what seems to be the newest right-wing conspiracy theory about transgender people: that they're faking it.

Keep ReadingShow less