People Share The Best Morbid Jokes They Know

***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***

I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.

Lady

"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"

UnoriginalUse

at 9am...

"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"

"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”

dreagan021

Comedy?

"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."

GW2RNGR

"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."

JayDub506

People who make comedy are evil. LOL.

The Darkness

"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."

storm_the_castle

God Laughs?

"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"

“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."

"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"

semimillennial

Oh Baby

"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."

sirnibs3

Jumpers

"Four people are on a plane, a British guy, a French guy, a Mexican guy, and a guy from Texas. The plane is about to go down so the pilot tells everyone to grab a parachute and jump. The British guy goes first, grabs a parachute, says 'long live the queen!' And jumps out. The French guy goes next, grabs a parachute, says 'vive la France!' And jumps out. Then the Texan goes next, says 'remember the Alamo!' And throws out the Mexican."

joebannaners

Oh Baby

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw ‘em."

BibleButterSandwich

"Dead baby jokes are my favorite. What’s funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown."

InteligentTard

"I hate myself for laughing the way I did. I'm so ashamed."

LiteLit

Frozen

"To necrophiliacs there's nothing better than cracking open a cold one."

Schfifty561

Forest Story

"A stranger brings a person in a dark scary forest."

"-Sir, I'm scared."

"-Imagine me, I'll have to find my way back alone..."

Joyce_Windu

2 Chris'

"What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve?"

"Christopher Walken."

About2Time

"I googled sick jokes one day and that was the first result. Savage."

Epatubiq

AHHHH!!

"What's the difference between a baby and a bag of coke?"

"Eric Clapton would pay enough attention for the bag of coke to not drop out of a window."

UnoriginalUse

"That’s Dark Dark."

Raichu-R-Ken

World Issues

"Why did the Ethiopian put up a clothesline?"

"So the children can play in the shade."

"How do you recognize a wealthy Ethiopian?"

"Rolex round the waist."

CropCircle77

Cheers?

"What was Bin Laden's favorite drink."

"A double Manhattan."

itamarka

"I always heard 'two kamikaze shots followed by a manhattan.'"

baf6

Oh no.

"They say there's safety in numbers... try telling that to 6 million Jews."

alan2998

Passengers

"I want to die like my granddad, while sleeping. Not like the two people screaming in his car."

VulgarVinyasa

"I've always heard this one as: I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandad. Not screaming for my life, like the passengers on his bus."

djAMPnz

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.