Apparently being tall isn't enough for some girlfriends—you have to be tall for the right reasons.
Reddit user TallBear3 is in the midst of a fight with his girlfriend because he didn't think it was important to mention the reason for his height: a brain tumor that's since been removed.
He visited the popular subReddit "Am I The A**hole?" (AITA) and asked anonymous internet users to weigh in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here
"I'm [Male] 23 and my Gf is [female] 24 we've been together for a year. Back when I was 18 I went abroad for uni and I started getting taller slowly at first, I was about 5'5 when I left and slowly after about 7 months I was 5'10. I went to the Dr in the country I was studying in and they assured me I was in puberty still and I'm just getting taller."
"I went home for the summer and everyone was surprised that I'm like a normal height now and it was nice being taller. I had no medical symptoms so didn't go to the Dr in my country since I was healthy. I was still growing slightly and I was around 6ft tall when I left back to go abroad for school in the fall."
"Once I got back to school I started having a lot of migraines and dizzyness etc. It was pretty mild so I stupidly ignored it for a few months but I was still growing and about 6'2 by the winter."
"I went to a large hospital near my uni instead and they gave me a brain scan and MRI and they discovered I had a smallish tumor on my pituitary glad and this was causing my symptoms and crazy height gain. The tumor was stimulating the gland to release high amounts of HGH."
"I flew back home ASAP and my parents took me to the hospital and thankfully it was benign and it was removed easily. So after all that I'm 6'3.5 after about 2 yrs of having this tumor while both my parents are 5'3. So I was destined to be short and all my kids probably were too."
"I met my GF last year and I basically have no health problems from it, I just go in for check ups on my hormones and a brain scan every 6 months. I told my GF that I had a brain tumor but it wasn't a big deal and she didn't care too much about it since we dealt with it. I didn't tell her it caused me to get tall because idk she never asked and none of my friends or family cared and no one talks about it."
"She found a picture of me at my prom and I looked really short and she was like wow you grew so much and I told her ya its because of that tumor I told you about. She was surprised and asked more about it so I non chalantly told her what happened and how I would have been 5'5 if it didn't."
"To my surprise she got mad and said that I was lying to her about my height and that if we had kids they would be short since everyone in my family is. Which is true my genes didn't change, my kids would probably also be short. Called me a huge asshole and has been distant with me for a couple of days."
"For context she's 5'6"
If there's one thing not worth making a big deal out of, it's someone's hypothetical height.
"NTA why does she care so much about how tall your hypothetical kids would be? It's not like shorter people have horrible lives. And for her to accuse you of being a liar is a real overreaction on her part." -alwaystired7
Is it not true love unless you're tall?
"I would take this as an indirect admission that she probably would not have dated him if he was short. A lot of women have that 'can't date a guy under 6ft' mentality with zero room for flexibility."
"OP you are def NTA. She didn't ask if you were naturally that tall and it's not really something you would mention until this specific conversation came up." -Sea_Petal
It's a little strange this girlfriend is already planning for children anyway.
"She has very messed up priorities but she also doesn't seem to understand genetics. She never questioned that OP was the only tall person in his family and she assumed that their future children were guaranteed to get those random genes." -swampwallabyforest
Some of Reddit's shorter users chimed in on what OP dodged.
"As a guy that's barely 5 feet, the mockery was and is pretty horrible tbh. I tried to not let it bother me but after a while it just sucked having comments about something I can't change, and then telling people "please don't make height jokes" and still receiving them..." -phantomsofheart
Science backed up people's stories of height discrimination.
"'Horrible lives' is subjective, but on average, shorter men are paid less, less likely to be promoted at work (some studies have made the case that height has a greater impact on career progression than either race or gender), less likely to get married, and more likely to be victims of abuse."
"According to a 2005 Swedish study that looked at 3,075 suicides of men between the ages of 18 and 49 over a 15-year period, those below average height are around twice as likely to take their own lives as men who are above average height."
"The authors themselves concluded this 'may signify the importance of childhood exposure [to bullying and other emotional trauma associated with being short] in the etiology of adult mental disorder, or reflect stigmatization or discrimination encountered by short men in their adult lives.'"
"So all in all I'd say yeah, this is something for a parent to be concerned about, although whether somebody should see their partner purely as a baby-maker is another issue." -adbenj
The original poster (OP) shouldn't ever be made to feel bad because he had a tumor.
"100% NTA. You can't control the TUMOR that grew in your BRAIN. How can you lie about your height? Are you kidding me? My brother is 6'8", and he has a son that's only 5'7". Genes wouldn't guarantee a short/tall child anyways— it increases the likelihood, that's about it."
"If she was so perfectly happy to be with you before, and is now NOT happy since a completely out of control circumstance made you taller, she's not a girlfriend, she's a shallow pile of red flags." -Rhomya
Many thought this girlfriend's obsession with height was a bit of a red flag.
"NTA. It seems like you've disclosed plenty about yourself to her -- about you having a tumor, etc. And likely she's seen pictures or met your parents also. Her considering the potential height of your potential kids is just very weird and entirely off as far as relationship material goes. You are not a breeding stallion for her to need the exact heights of all of your relatives?" -terpsichorebook
OP certainly shouldn't have expected to be planning for his children's heights when he started dating.
"NTA You didn't have to assume your girlfriend was just looking for a sperm donator coming from a line of tall people to sire her future offspring for prime breeding results. Also, while genes do matter you never know 100% what's in the mix. My husband and I are both rather tall (with him at 185cm and me at 173cm) and our kids aren't really."
"Our son is about 178cm and our daughter isn't even 160cm tall... Looks like some genes frim my parents (both not tall) came through... However, I wish you all the best and hope your girlfriend will realise how out of line she was and will apologise." -LynetteScavo78
Watch out, OP, it seems your girlfriend might only want you for your height. One thing is for sure, however—you don't seem to have done anything wrong.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*