The simple hamburger has come a long way from being topped solely with lettuce, tomato and onions.
Indeed, many New Yorker's go to great lengths to replicate Shake Shack's addictive "shack sauce" to top their burgers.
While west coasters know to order their In-N-Out Burger's "Animal Style" to get the added grilled onions, thousand island sauce and extra pickles on a mustard grilled bun.
But these are relatively simple compared to many other variations on the simple, All-American hamburgers, as everything from a blue cheese, barbecue burger to a Kung-Pow shrimp burger can be found on menus all over the world.
And while some of these seemingly questionable experimentations proved to pay off handsomely, others most definitely did not.
Making pineapple on pizza seem positively tame.
Redditor Sir_Elyan was eager to learn the most horrific offenses ever made to a hamburger, leading them to ask:
"We argue about pizza toppings all the time, but what burger crimes have you witnessed?"
Size Doesn't Matter...
"Burgers that are too tall."
"I don’t want to dislocate my jaw eating that thing."
"Make burgers wide not tall."- like5or6
It's Not A Burger Without A Bun.
"Having toppings that make the buns soggy or just fall off when you try to take a bite out of it."- Whappingtime
Say Cheese!
"Those stupid 'food porn' burgers where they pour melted cheese allover the bloody thing."- BlightWhore
nacho cheese ooze GIFGiphyNot So "Deliciously Different"...
"Used to work at Wendy's."
"I was taking orders this guy wants a triple baconator, ok."
"He asked for some sauces on the side, all right pretty normal."
"Gets 2 ranches and ghost pepper ranch and some hot honey."
"Nothing else, ok."
"Asks for extra onions and extra cheese."
"How much cheese you ask?"
"8 slices."
"Now, the triple baconator is a pretty big boy but its not big enough for all that cheese ok but hey he's paying, none of my business."
"Guy pulls around hand him his food asks if he needs anything like ketchup napkins or some more sauces."
"Gets some ketchup."
"Now, this man holds up the line for a while to open up his cold cheese monster and deconstructs it to create this wet saucey nightmare bites into it verbally goes 'MMMMM' and leaves."
"I'll never live that down."- TrashGorlUwU
Danny Green Sport GIF by Philadelphia 76ersGiphySome Take Their Burgers Very Seriously...
"There's a burger joint that the owner/chef was kind of a 'burger nazi'."
"Can't alter the burger with substitution or additional topings."
"Can't cook it any way except for Med Well."
"Can't cut it."
"The waitress actually told me if he sees a customer cut his burger he'll ask they never come back again."- shaka_sulu
Must Have Looked Pretty...
"Cheeseburger, but with sweet blueberries inside the patties."- Zelnite
It's All About The Packaging...
"I don't get those sugar glazed donuts or cinnamon bagel burgers."
"Also, living in an Asian country."
"We got rice patties clumped up and toasted and they become the bread."
"I'm not a fan."
"Give me a good brioche-like bread to sop up all the secret sauce."-
Dance Dancing GIF by matthewjocelynGiphyThey Do Things Differently Down Under...
"This comment may only make sense to Aussies."
"Got a steak burger with the lot from a new lunch bar that opened up near my work."
"When I went to eat I noticed they forgot the fried egg."
"No biggie I eat it anyway but next time I went in I mentioned they forgot the fried egg last time."
"They looked horrified and asked who on earth puts fried egg on a burger."
"Um, everyone?"
"That's why it's called 'the lot' is it not?"
"Apparently they've never heard of it."- MrsFlip
Plain old ketchup just isn't good enough for some people.
Even so, the fact that McDonald's, Burger King and Sonic have yet to put blueberries on a burger should be pretty telling...
J. Crew
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