A woman recently took to Reddit to seek advice after a humiliating experience at an urgent care clinic.
The Redditor, whose account has since been deleted, wrote into the subReddit "AmItheA$$hole" to seek out advice on whether or not she should contact HR after an incident with a nurse practitioner.
Read her full account below.
from AmItheAsshole
The tl/dr version is that the 21-year-old woman participated in her first one-night stand.
She explained that she had never participated in a meaningless hook up before.
"My previous sexual partners have all been someone I have developed deep connections with in some kind of way."
She went on to explain to readers that despite using a condom she experienced some potentially STD-like symptoms. For the sake of caution, she went to an urgent care clinic to be examined and tested.
During her visit, she was extremely open with her nurse practitioner about number of sexual partners, etc. so that she could receive the best care possible.
However, as she was leaving the nurse practitioner stopped her and went on to slut shame her.
"You're 21 years old, you really need to guard and protect your character."
The nurse practitioner, also female, went on to say:
"Well you know, guys get to have sex all they want and nothing bad comes out of it for them but you know us as women we can't be doing that as much because we have to protect our character."
She did not stop there.
"You're going to want to have kids one day, and the way you're living your life now could really hurt you and your chances of having a kid with a good man."
The original poster went on to ask readers for advice on whether or not she should contact HR after the nurse practitioner's outrageous behavior.
While the since-deleted Reddit user did suffer further slut-shaming and abuse on her thread, most people were infuriated by her experience.
"NTA. 150% report her to HR. Do it right now. This is rude, regressive, none of her business and could actually deter women from getting care. You'll be doing yourself and every other woman who walks through those doors a kindness." - inevitablegirlie
"Agreed, this is insane. My wife is a doctor and would be appalled to hear if a colleague did this. There is never supposed to be judgement in medicine, because exactly as you said, it could cause patients to be less open in the future. They are not the police, or the morality police. They treat you, they're there to make you better. Sure, they may recommend to stay away from unsafe practices such as unprotected sex, but it's not supposed to be judgement. Just medically relevant information and best practices. This was ABSOLUTELY judgement, and bullshit. OP please report her! I guarantee she's done this to other women, and I guarantee some of them have thought twice about seeking treatment in the future because of it. It should be stopped" - Excolo_Veritas
"Nurse here. What she was doing was not okay. We all take paths to take care of our patients ethically and treat them with care. We might recommend to use a condom but as you stated you were doing that. If you were my patient I would actually applauded you for having safe sex and still coming in just to make sure. It's not okay to push your morals on someone else. Report the fuck out of her. NTA" - dancer29
"NTA. Definitely report that. She is there to help you medically, not try to force her values on you." - SirPengy
"NTA AT ALL
Her job is to provide health care, not moral judgement. I won't go into how dated and f***ed her comments are - but bringing her own personal beliefs into it are out of line. Eta: even if she had told you the exact opposite and been like 'yes girl! Go f*** all the men!' Her bringing HER opinion into the matter makes it not ok. You were there for a swab. Her job starts and stops with the test." - kai7yak
"NTA. I'm a nurse and I would report the s**t out of this woman if she treated me or worked with me. In our line of work, we definitely have to ask probing questions or make recommendations that some people see as intrusive, but only if there's a legitimate medical reason, which we explain--e.g. 'I don't care whether or not you do cocaine, I'm not going to call the cops on you, but please tell me if there's cocaine in your system because giving you a beta blocker with cocaine in your system could kill you.' Recommending safe sexual behaviors like consistent condom use and frequent STI testing FOR YOUR HEALTH and the health of your partners would have been totally appropriate. Lecturing you about the effect casual sex will have on your 'character' is a hundred miles over the line." - GrouchyYoung
"This isn't 1950 and she's a stranger. You're an adult and can obviously handle yourself. She isn't in charge of your chastity belt keys and this was incredibly out of line. I'd definitely report her as that wasn't her place." - xmarketladyx
"Totally report her. You didn't come for a sermon, you came to get your health evaluated." - Gonebabythoughts
"Nta, healthcare providers are supposed to treat without judgement and that was incredibly unprofessional" - edibble1987
"I am a Nurse Practitioner. Please report this clinician. Her approach was inappropriate and unprofessional. She reminds me of an NP I knew who was also a nun.
I would understand if she wanted to have a frank talk about protection, risks, etc., at the close of the visit, but your 'character' is none of her dang business." - wadingin3
According to edits on the original post, she decided to reach out the clinic's manager.
She explained that she did not want the NP to lose her job, but rather wanted some sort of discussion to be instigated regarding patient treatment.
If you want to know your rights as a patient in the United States, the book The Rights of Patients: The Authoritative ACLU Guide to the Rights of Patients is available here.
Knowing your or a loved one's rights is essential, especially for patients with chronic illness.
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