Redditor "depressedgfxmas" recalled one of her worst Christmases ever when her boyfriend spontaneously reunited with his ex-girlfriend while shopping together.
The reunion was far from a "hi & bye" situation.
When the original poster (OP) expressed being uncomfortable about the boyfriend talking with his ex, he became irritated and called her immature.
After 45 minutes of watching him and the ex catching up and laughing together, the OP had enough and ditched her boyfriend at the store.
The wrath she dealt with later for abandoning him is something that stayed with the OP for two months before finally asking AITA (Am I the A**hole) on the impartial judgment seeking subReddit.
"So this has been bothering me since before Christmas and I want to finally know if I was the AH here or not."
"My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and we are both 24."
"His ex gf is 24 as well and they dated for 5 years and broke up when she cheated on him."
"We were out Christmas shopping for his family and as we were perusing through this one store, some girl comes up to him that works there and says 'hey your ex wants to talk to you, she works here.'"
"Before I could register what was happening he replied 'oh awesome ok where is she' and starts walking off with this random girl and leaving me there with all the bags."
"I followed him and said 'hey can we please just keep shopping, we've been here for hours and I want to get home soon...I'm not really comfortable with you talking to your ex...'"
"The reason why I'm not comfortable with her is because on multiple occasions she has tried wiggling back into his life sexually and it has driven a bit of a wedge between us."
"He immediately got furious at me and started not so subtly telling me off for controlling him in the middle of this very public department store and I started tearing up."
"He said I was being a f*ng child and stormed off to go talk to her. I sat there on one of the chairs and waited for 40 minutes while he was laughing and chatting with her."
"A few people came up to me and asked me if I was okay so I was pretty embarrassed."
"At the 45 minute mark I decided to just leave."
"I dropped the bags off behind him and he didn't even notice or turn around even though she saw me. I stood there for a minute to see if he'd notice me then said 'hey bf, can I cut in for a second?' And he shushed me."
"I walked out and went home. He blew up my phone about 15 minutes after I got home, so approx 1 hour after I left and said I was the most immature, controlling person he's ever met and I should be ashamed of my behaviour."
When she asked AITA, Reddit did not disappoint.
Many supported the OP and vehemently suggested dumping the scumbag.
"NTA. I really hope you've made him an ex by now." – vodka_philosophy
"Yeah, I am usually of the opinion that reddit jumps to action to fast, yet in this case I am going to say drop that sh*t if you haven't." – Farwalker08
Instead of seeking strangers' advice on the internet, this Redditor suggested that those in failing relationships should decide to DTMFA (Dump the Motherf'ker Already).
"A break up is exactly what loads of people need. It will remove humongous negativity from their lives, and the other person may get a wake up call that being a sh*tty partner means you end up single really quickly." – drivincryin
"I mean if we get this straight, when the dude was confronted with his ex, who cheated on him, wanting to talk to him, he replied with 'awesome,' then ignored his own girlfriend for at least 45 minutes."
"OP should run." – straikychan
Nobody should ever feel like they are competing with an ex.
"It sounds as if he left ex because she cheated but he likes ex more and OP is just second best!"
"OP, NTA and I would test this, maybe go to the store with him again and see if he's looking out for her."
"Do they talk on social media? I reckon you're most likely better off without him, he doesn't care about your feelings or views and probably gas lights the hell out of you." – 4ever_lost
"He just publicly chose his ex over his current girl friend."
"In other words, OP, he just dumped you. In a department store. For his ex."
"I don't think there's anything else to do but honor his choice." – pcnauta
"He has the audacity to tell her she's the most controlling person?"
"After putting her on time out for close to an hour? A bit like the pot calling the kettle black here, innit?"
"I guess if you really wanted his attention, OP, you need to break up."
"It's the only surefire way to make him give you the time of day." – Fawlty_Towers
People had questions about the causal nature of the ex's job.
"Is this real? Because if she works at the store how did the ex manage to get away with an hour+ break just chatting to someone??" – handsume
"On top of the obvious sh**tery going on, what kind of an employee stands around chatting with someone while on the clock for almost 2 hours?" – SpectralSheep
"What kind of sh*t employee is the ex for standing around and chatting with a customer for 45 minutes?" – TuxandFlipper4eva
The time it took for the OP to discuss her dilemma online was concerning.
"It bothers me because she said it's been bothering her since christmas and as you said, refers to him as boyfriend... So this happened 2 months ago at least, and OP is STILL with him...."
"How on earth did you let him get you to forgive him after this?"
"And based on his behaviour, he probably made you apologise for it OP."
"And every time you get this little sliver of confidence and doubt in him, you start to question why you apologised and not him, and you bring it up."
"Only to be shut back down again, which is why it's still bothering you. Because you KNOW inside, he's wrong and you're right, and you should never have had to apologise (I'm assuming he made her and convinced it was her fault just from the sounds of him)." – buggle_bunny
Redditor psychologists gave their evaluations.
"Why are you still with this guy? You are never going to find someone who actually appreciate's you, if you're still with this low value man." – IthinkItsLipGloss
"Well this happened 2 months ago at least. And she refers to him as bf not ex in the post. And if she did leave him in that time before posting I'm sure it would be mentioned."
"So, most likely, he drilled her down until she apologised because she started to truly believe she DID act childish and immature."
"And it bothers her, because the part of her brain that loves herself, and has self respect, is telling her, this wasn't right, none of that was right."
"But most likely, is still with him 2 months after this happened." – buggle_bunny
"You're NTA, but you aren't being very kind to yourself."
"What are you doing, OP? Is this what you think you deserve? Are you ok with this? How would you feel if this happened to a friend? What would you tell that friend?" – Turritella
The OP later provided an update and expressed how overwhelmed she was with all the supportive comments.
She also had some good news.
"I just wanted to thank everyone for helping me take the final step I needed to in order to leave him."
"This isn't the first time I've felt dismissed and invalidated and I've been unhappy for a while. I ended it this morning and I already feel lighter."
Now, it's time for some sensible retail therapy.
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