I'm gonna be honest with you guys, I've never been to a wedding where the bride or groom went total -zilla on everyone. I've seen some terrible parents, I've heard my fair share of unfortunate speeches - shout out to that one awkward a capella performance. So intimate; so terrible.
That doesn't mean I don't love some good bridal "chisme" - that's gossip; and it's a high art. The Puerto Rican women in my family have passed the skill down for generations. The elders are masters by now. The shade is subtle, the reads are so real - they're like the Hatori Hanzo's of talking sh*t.
Anyway, one Reddit user asked:
Wedding planners of Reddit, who was the worst bridezilla/groomzilla that you've had to deal with?
and like 14 generations of my ancestors rose up within me in unison like "READ IT!" and really who am I to deny my blood? I mean, it didn't work out well when Buffy The Vampire Slayer tried it. Okay, so first things first, the question was directed at wedding planners but everyone and their granny chimed in. Wouldn't you? You know you would.
Secondly, people are terrible human beings. There. I said it. So here are some of the responses that made me cringe, cackle, or cry the most - edited for language or clarity, of course. Have fun!
The Landscaping Bill
I used to work at a wedding venue. I was there once when a future bride and her mother were visiting to plan out the setup. They had already booked the place for the wedding.
The building had some lovely planters with flowers of all different colors in the outdoor space where ceremonies were held. Both ladies, but especially the mother of the bride, had a huge issue with the fact that some of the flowers didn't match the couple's wedding colors. We explained to them that no, the flowers couldn't be swapped out or moved before the wedding because they were in those huge urn planters that probably weighed upwards of 100-150 pounds each fully loaded with soil.
Bridezilla and Momzilla went around behind my manager's back and started ripping up the flowers of colors they didn't like. Fortunately, Momzilla only got a few before she was caught, but my manager was 100% ready to add our landscaper's fee to the bill. He probably should have anyway.
"Send Your Assistant To The Funeral"
GiphyI've posted this before, but this was my worst for sure.
I'm a wedding planner. We had an unexpected death in the family. Our 6 month old nephew had passed away in his sleep. I knew the funeral was going to be the day my clients upcoming wedding. I gave her a call to explain the situation. She's clearly not paying attention to the call or the words I'm speaking because I hear her laughing with friends in the background. I get irritated and tell her I'll call her later. I call back that night and again tell her what has happened and that I'd be sending an assistant to cover for me so I can attend the funeral. She tells me that I need to send my assistant to the funeral and that I better be at her wedding. It took me a few seconds, but I calmly stated that I'd be sending her money back and that no one would be covering for me. Nicest way I've ever said f off. I really wanted to bitch slap her.
I've been doing this for a while. I've seen some shit. I've seen a drunk grandma heil Hitler in a room full of Jewish guests. I've seen a bride kiss an ex boyfriend while the groom was in the bathroom. One attempted suicide. One very expensive and very short wedding. However, the majority of my clients are amazing. Still, sometimes there are just horrible people in this world. The good thing is I've gotten much better at spotting them before we get to far.
Shoes
I work as an assistant to a wedding planner. We had a bridezilla let half of her guests leave and have someone drive almost 3 hours over a pair of shoes.
About 45 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to begin, a bridesmaid grabbed me in a panic and told me the bride forgot her shoes. She told me that the bride absolutely needed her shoes. I asked where they were, she told me they were at another location - an hour away. The wedding planner talked to the bride and explained that no one would even notice if she didn't wear those shoes. We could go grab her another pair, her dress covered her feet, etc. The bride pitched a fit and made an uncle drive and get them. It took him about 2.5 hours to get them. The whole time, we were trying to convince the bride to start the ceremony and she refused.
The worst part was that her family came from another country and didn't really speak English so they had no idea what was going on at first. They got super restless and some people even left. We told the bride that people were leaving and she didn't care, she just wanted her shoes. Everything was delayed by about an hour and half. People were pissed. By the time the reception rolled around about 50% of the people left the venue.
Planner-zilla?
This doesn't entirely fit the question, but my friend's wedding planner flat out refused to use the bride's hand-made decorations.
The bride and family had spent hours finishing the decorations the day before. The bride was really proud of them. The wedding planner hid them in a box under the guestbook table. I was the bridesmaid assigned to go down from the suite and check on things while everyone was getting ready. I did a check in and noticed that the decorations were nowhwere to be found. I asked the planner why the decorations weren't hung up, and she told me she didn't like them.
I had a boyfriend of another bridesmaid hang them up because I knew the bride would be upset if they weren't in the reception hall.
Grey Goose
A drunk, screaming groomzilla screamed and pointed in my face (while his poor bride cowered behind him) because the venue ran out of Grey Goose at 11:45pm. The wedding ended at midnight. I filled up an empty bottle with water are served it to him and his douchey friends.
"Dad" And James Bond
I worked one that was a complete nightmare. The bride and groom were from NYC and got married in the south. He was her boss at a Fox News show. When I first saw them I legit thought he was her dad. The entire night she kept yelling at him, telling him to leave conversations she was having with her friends. She was just awful to him.
Not to mention their wedding colors were pink and green. And I mean BRIGHT pink. They paid thousands of dollars to have a pink tented ceiling and their bridesmaid dresses were these ugly hot pink designer dresses. I think each one cost $900. This wedding all around was between $300-350,000 at least. They had a man in a jet pack dressed in a tux fly over the reception, land to a string quartet playing the James Bond theme song and took a sip of a martini. That cost like $13k. He was a pretty interesting guy, if you can imagine.
I sometimes wonder if the couple is still together. I'm assuming not.
The Aisle 5 Train Wreck
Was helping a friend plan her wedding. We literally had everything planned, had called in favors with friends to do everything at cost, and she had personally asked my mom to officiate. This was going to be gorgeous, and I did nothing without her. She was in on the entire thing, as she should be.
Then her in-laws got involved. She started saying yes to everything they were saying without telling me. They then started asking me to ask my friends to provide their services for free or under just cost. They expected my contacts to be okay losing money. When I pushed back on the price, suddenly I was making her wedding all about me. They made me out to be a nut job.
My friend didn't even take the time to tell my mom that her services as the officiant were no longer needed and the bride had found a catholic deacon to marry them. Mind you, the bride is Muslim and the groom converted from Catholicism to Islam to marry her in another ceremony so SOMEONE lied about their faith here! I found out 2nd hand - 4 days before the wedding.
That was it. I cancelled everything but the caterer - that was a favor my boyfriend had called in and decided to keep only because his buddy needed the money. The bride bought fake flowers and the ceremony was a train wreck. It was glorious vindication.
My boyfriend was beside himself when he called me after the wedding. Their arch was a couple of 2x4s nailed together on the beach. The from-home speaker and mic cut out so no one could hear anything, which was a blessing because the maid of honor (one of the in-laws who was key in talking the bride out of everything) didn't prepare her speech. Instead, she just rambled nervously like an idiot.
It was mid-summer in Florida so it was hot as F*CK. They held the ceremony in full sun at 3 pm (peak UV rays and often well above 100 degrees) so everyone was sweaty/stinky/pissed off and getting sunburned. They didn't spring for seats so everyone was just standing there.... in the hot sand.
The groomsmen wore shirts that were close but off in color just enough that you knew it was a mistake. The reception was held at the maid of honors small house. Apparently, they didn't think to empty the fridge for any of the food to be stored ahead of time. They grabbed cupcakes from publix, they used the same crappy speaker and a little rainbow disco light to designate the dance area. No one danced.
My boyfriend likened it to a really sweaty high school party with better food.
I am honestly just happy that I was able to call the florist (my best friends mother!) in time for her to cancel her order from the market.
She got the Aisle 5 wedding she paid for and I got to save money on a dress.
One Chair
GiphyThe bride came in and literally threw a chair through a window because she was pissed that there was one chair extra in the back of the room.
- 8UP_
The Vegan Meltdown
I was almost the maid of honor for a bridezilla.
She is Vegan and I mean, heavily Vegan. The menu eventually changed into one that had no options for non-Vegans, despite the majority of the guests being omnivores. Whenever I'd bring it up to her, she'd reply with "Well, they should know better because it's my wedding. They don't have to eat if they don't like it."
The wedding was to take place at a gorgeous retreat in the mountains just outside of LA. She was so hellbent on the location that they put down a hefty non-refundable deposit right away. Since it was up in the mountains, I knew that we wouldn't have easy access to non-vegan establishments should we get hungry, and people need to eat. The bride had planned on the wedding party staying in a cabin house that they were going to rent for the occasion.
I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask if we could bring our own food to make. When I ran this by her, she abruptly told me, "F*ck no you can't bring that shit inside my cabin. You better find a way to take the microwave and nuke that shit outside because no f*cking way am I gonna let the cabin smell like meat."
At that point I was so ready to be done.
The bride and groom had a trip to some hipster music festival coming up so I made up my mind to use that time away from her to come up with a good way to remove myself from the situation. No need for that, as it turns out.
They came back from the trip with their engagement dissolved. Apparently they came to the realization that they didn't really love each other and that it was just a relationship of convenience. They had been together for ten years! Felt a little bad, but at the same time relieved. Don't know who broached it first but I have my guesses.
Groomzilla's Thank You Cake
I have a friend who used to do high society weddings.
There was a bride who was the nicest person imaginable, but everyone else was entitled sh*t.
The bridesmaids and groomsmen never showed up for the photo shoot. Reason? How were they supposed to show up if the planners didn't personally knock on their hotel room doors to remind them to get ready?
The bride would set the groom a list of tasks. The second she was out of earshot, he'd turn to one of the planners and say, "You heard her. Get it done." He was also generally useless; coming to meetings late, always drunk with his groomsmen and letting his bride handle everything.
The church ceremony was delayed an hour because the groom's mother didn't even start getting dressed until the ceremony was supposed to start.
A week after the ordeal, this lovely bride asks my friend for her address as she wanted to send a cake over as thanks.
An hour later, the bride calls my friend to confirm that she had given her the right address. My friend says yes.
Friend didn't realize the bride and groom were personally delivering the cake. My friend is super humble, but she lives in a huge mansion, doesn't actually need the money from her event planning job. Her family is loaded - but none of them attend high society events because her father thinks it's beneath them.
The couple was shocked, and the groom suddenly tried to be overly friendly and pal-y with my friend. Asking who the architect of her house was, etc, hoping that she wouldn't remember the sh*tty treatment he'd given her last week.
She just graciously accepted the cake, wished the bride well and closed the gate on them.
The Zit Restoration
Former Wedding Photographer- The last wedding I ever did, the bride had a huge zit on her forehead, which was just ruining everything. It was the end of the world. So, thinking I was being generous, I zapped it off in all of the photos in photoshop. Cut to a few weeks later after I delivered them, I get an irate phone call saying that she couldn't believe I would edit off a zit. She wanted to remember the day as it was, not how it should have been. So I went through and restored all the zits... Weddings are too emotionally fraught to mix with business...
Just Act Like It's Real
Bride tried to have a 50k wedding on a 5k budget, and do everything last minute. She didn't like her officiant and fired him the wk before wedding, and then didn't realize how difficult it was going to be to find one last minute. She ended up having to get married by a JP the day before wedding and had a friend officiate wedding and act like it was all real! The whole wedding was a joke, and people left by 8pm after cake. The whole wedding was over by 10pm.
Actual Parking Lot
My friend is an events coordinator, one of the few privileged to host at a fancy, remote Californian resort. It takes celebrities for 2-3k per night, but doesn't have any big party spaces. Events are held in the fields, and rich folk enjoy the rustic vibe.
This reception was to be held in July, on a Sunday, in the parking lot. Not the fields - the parking lot. My Friend orders rolls of artificial turf grass to cover the asphalt. The Bride gets buyer's remorse and cancels the turf a couple weeks before the wedding. Wedding day, Bridezilla comes to Friend fuming "This is an actual parking lot, with lines and everything!!"
Yeah. We told you that.
The first few people Friend called hung up on her. Finally someone quotes her an absurd price to load up ALL of their rolls of (real) turf grass, drive the hr to the resort, and set it up. Friend doubles the price she quotes the bride. Bride doesn't bat an eye. And that is how i got paid $20/hr to intermittently water turf grass in a parking lot.
Aunt Ann
We had a guestzilla.
Older aunt of the bride showed up wearing a white lace gown. That's already a huge no, but she then told the groom she didn't want him in the group picture because it was only for "family." When the caterer put aside the top tier of the cake and put it in a box for the bride a groom to have on their first anniversary, she began to pick off and eat the icing with her fingers.
F*ck you, aunt Ann.
All The Bridesmaids
My sister got drunk and kicked all her bridesmaids out of the wedding the night before.
Covering Mom's Cost
A guy I know got married recently and the bride's mother was the worst Momzilla. There were 6 bridesmaids in the wedding party - 4 of them bridesmaids never spoke to the bride again and 2 didn't even attend the wedding due to Mom's behavior at the hen party.
Mom micromanaged everything and was very abusive and controlling throughout. That wasn't the worst part, though. The bride put Momzilla in charge of coordinating. Mom handled the hotel, selected restaurants, etc. The bridesmaids found out rather than pay for herself, she just overcharged everyone else and skimmed the extra so it would cover her costs.
Maidzilla
I once sat through a wedding with a total bridesmaidzilla. Instead of giving a speech, she decided to just play some songs, that way she wouldn't have to put in any real effort.
Yeah, it ended up being 7 minutes of garbled music that non of us could understand since the sound system hadn't been properly set up. It was coming from a DJ booth that had just announced MR & MRS when it was supposed to be MRS & MRS.
Awkward.
But we all politely sat through this - mostly because I think nobody was surprised. The bridesmaid was a train wreck anyway. She wore thick jeans under her dress (in late summer heat) and completely ruined the lines of her dress. She looked ridiculous. Not only that, her jeans stunt ruined the one shot of silly mismatched socks that the Brides wanted! One photo! Maidzilla ruined it, then proceeded to rush everyone else along because she was burning up.
Then after the reception, she immediately changed clothes and decided she would "manage" the packing, transport, and unpacking of the decorations and gifts. Rather than pitch in and help, she sat on her oversized posterior and "directed" everyone else. I, while still in my suit and slick shoes, told her to help or shut up. I did most of the work with my daughter on my shoulders because I already could tell I did not want this woman near my child.
At one point she insisted on watching my daughter while I went to the store. I had no plan of this happening, but the two Brides pulled me aside and confided in me that she wasn't very responsible with kids. As if I was even considering it.
The same woman sat at the other end of a table at a restaurant then complained no one was talking to her. Dummy, everyone else was here first. You chose that seat and excluded yourself!
Mom Made The Cake
GiphyMy fiance and I were making final plans for our wedding reception, so we happened to be at the venue for a meeting while they were setting up for a wedding. We got to witness a fantastic disaster.
The bride and her mother insisted that the mom make the wedding cake. The venue includes the cake as part of the package but these folks insisted on their own. Mom didn't have experience in wedding cakes, but neither she nor the bride was interested in any tips from the venue. The wedding planner at the hall knew they were planning on using a cake topper and warned them that they would need to include a stand in the middle of the cake for support. Toppers are heavy. Cake isn't very strong. Support is a must. Planner warned them repeatedly. We all heard.
The mother insisted she knew what she was doing. Her three cakes piled on top of each other were sturdy enough to support the large figurine cake topper.
Fast forward to them setting up the reception, we are in the office trying to talk with the planner. The whole time we are meeting the planner kept apologizing for having trouble focusing - she kept looking past us over at the cake thinking that it looked kind of off.
We were wrapping up our meeting when suddenly she screams and bolts out of her chair. The topper had collapsed through the three layers of cake then come out the front, leaving the entire front of the cake a pile of crumbs with frosting.
I never found out how that mess got fixed because my fiance and I got the hell out of there.
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