In these desperate times, we need all hands on deck.
That means medical supplies and food most especially, of course.
But also important: ways to care for and nourish our hearts and minds.
What happens when we run out of The Golden Girls episodes on Hulu and there's no more Baby Yoda (ugh FINE "The Child," whatever) on Disney+? Are we supposed to just devolve into anarchy‽‽
Which is why our valiant fellow citizens on Twitter are mounting an entire movement.
Its name? #ReleaseTheButtholeCut.
What in God's name is #ReleaseTheButtholeCut? It has no manifesto, no official leadership, but it's real, and it's deep.
#ReleaseTheButtholeCut refers to the smash-flop film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Weber's musical CATS that broke everyone's brains over the holidays. Specifically, a version of the film that includes that most cherished of cat details: their ever-displayed buttholes.
Yes, you read that right: Supposedly there exists a version where Idris, and Taylor and even Dame Judi all have visible, feline anuses.
It all began when writer/director Ben Mekler tweeted about his deep desire for a tell-all about the making of CATS.
Which is very relatable.
Most of us who saw the movie still don't understand what we saw, and it has been months. And there's a pandemic going on, and we're STILL trying to figure it out.
Be that as it may, it's safe to say that virtually nobody was prepared for one particular response Wekler received, from writer Jack Waz.
Waz continued with a sentiment that was instantly relatable.
And before you knew it, everyone in Hollywood was joining the effort, from Seth Rogen...
...to Knives Out writer/director Rian Johnson.
And soon, even entertainment media outlets were in on the effort.
But then came a twist.
Turns out there were never any actual buttholes, just arrangements of "digital fur technology" that occasionally looked like buttholes (among other things).
But the #ReleaseTheButtholeCut revolution was undeterred.
And suddenly, it all began to look like a cover-up...
Someone needs to bust this story wide open.
This is not a time for graft and lies, Hollywood!
Anyway, as you might guess, the hashtag really captured the attention of the Twitterverse.
Some even saw The Butthole Cut as a path forward after this apocalypse.
Who knew it would be cat anuses that would bring us together in these desperate times? It just goes to show there's more that unites us than divides us.
Cats is available here for pre-order. The original Broadway musical version is available here.
@thekalenallen/Threads
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