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marriage
Relationships are a lot like snowflakes, in that every story of how people come together, how quickly they commit to each other, what they do with their lives together, and what their potential deal breakers are will be different from the relationship next door.
So while it's becoming increasingly common for people to tell others not to marry young and to get to know themselves first, there are all kinds of results that can come from marrying young, even in the year 2024.
Redditor 2moms1bun asked:
"Those who got married young (under 25), how is going 10 or more years later?"
Yay for Adventures!
"We married at 21 and 22, and we’ll be married 17 years this year. It’s not been all good, but there have been far more good times than bad, and we’ve had quite the adventure together."
- abatchelor75
Enjoying the Marriage First
"We married at 20, and we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary next year."
"We traveled, bought a home, and thoroughly enjoyed each other for seven years before having a child. I think sometimes people get really caught up in the idea of having a wedding, and then they immediately have children."
"Don’t get me wrong, that’s totally great for some people. But my nugget of advice for all newly engaged/married couples is to really enjoy your marriage first. Give it the time it needs to flourish because if things end up not working out in the end, you can amicably split with no children involved or affected. Just my two cents."
- california_peach0305
That's... Rough
"Married at 25. Divorced at 25. Life is so much better without that h*e."
"She cheated on me within three months. We'd been together for seven years prior."
- legendarilyly
Felt That
"I was 28, and she was 23. We are still married, we have a kid, and everything's fine other than finances."
- boomheadshot7
Ugg, Try Using a Watering Can Next Time
"She is leaving after over 13 years because, and I quote, 'the grass is greener somewhere else.'"
- Competitve_Bat4986
"Savage. Tell her to take a watering can."
- mondocalrisian
"Trust me, I don't even want to give her a watering can. But that's not who I am. I have to set a good example for our kids on how to treat people right, regardless if they hurt you or not."
"I honestly just wish her the best, I hope she finds whatever she is looking for and to be happy. Life is too short to hold onto anger and wanting revenge."
- Competitive_Bat4986
"When my wife left out of the blue I took a similar mentality. There’s enough pain here, so why add more to it by being a d**k? We didn’t have kids thankfully, but it’s great that you set that example for them. They will notice."
- Untjosh1
"I hope my kids will notice. It really sucks, and they don't understand why. In fact, neither do I, but here we are. At the end of the day, I know I'll be doing the right thing."
- Competitive_Bat4986
When You Know, You Know!
"We were in the same dorm and met her first day of college. Instant connection. We started dating officially like three days later."
"We married at 22 and 21 respectively. 14 years later, we have three kids, including newborn twins. Life is as good as can be."
- Bmonroet
Pretty Fair Trade
"Next year (2025), I turn 32 and will celebrate my 10th anniversary. I lucked out to have an amazing partner who has changed alongside me without falling out of love."
"I do wish I had allowed myself more time to be a fun crazy single bachelor before my marriage, though. But I’m sure some people would happily trade their wild stories and memories for the stability and comfort I have now."
- EmperorBulbax
Definitely Saw That Coming
"My best friend married at 22, despite everybody telling him not to. After cheating multiple times on his wife, he's now separated with two children and as miserable as you could imagine."
- Empanada90
In Sickness and In Health
"We married at 22. We are still together and going strong, despite the fact that I have severe anxiety at 31, and I feel bad that my wife has to deal with this."
- Cautious-Gas-838
"We married at 22 and 21 after a year of dating. We have enjoyed a very good life until 18 months ago when I was put on Benzos for a panic attack, and now I am trying to get off and going through h**l."
"I too feel extremely bad for my wife. Anxiety and depression can really wear on your significant other and it's hard to watch."
- ScreenDelicious9589
Living the Dream
"We married at 24. Still going strong after 38 years. We have a daughter and two grandkids. We’re both retired now, living our best lives."
- 1tacoshort
"I got married at 24, too. It's our fourteenth wedding anniversary this year. We have one son, a bunch of animals, and a cafe. It's pretty nice."
- BobKattersHat
Lucky in Love
"Married at 18. Been together for over 20 years. We are still happily married."
"I love the man, he's my rock, we have three kids, two with special needs, and instead of pulling us apart, it has brought us closer. We've had a few issues (mostly because we both grew up in conservative homes with traditional gender roles and we had to negotiate that quagmire to get to a healthier place), but for the most part, we are super close, he writes me love notes on the bathroom mirror and we spend all our free time together. He's truly my best friend."
"BUT when we got married we just 'settled down.' We live in the same small town, and neither of us finished college. We've worked a series of jobs (not a career, just jobs to pay the bills). We don't have much of a social life outside our small friend group (whom we rarely see face-to-face)."
"We are happy in our little home, but when we became adults, our world never got bigger. We aren't much different than we were as broke teenagers. We don't go on grand adventures, we don't have fun stores from past vacations/times in our lives. I feel like we skipped out on the whole 'adventure' part of being an adult and went straight to the 'old, boring, bill-paying' middle-aged years."
"Maybe it would have been different if we didn't have kids right away. Honestly, we had them early thinking that we'd be empty nesters by our mid-40s, but due to life circumstances (specifically my kid's special needs, that we could have never planned for-no family history, etc) this is going to be our forever."
"Honestly, I think I got lucky in my choice of partner. I was a depressed teen in a bad situation and I hopped on the first lifeboat out. It was 100% luck that he ended up being such a great guy, because I honestly did not have the best handle on what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like. We were just very, very lucky."
- USPS_Titanic
Breaking the Cycle
"Together since we were 15 and 14… We married at 23 and 22… We just turned (turning) 50. We are still in love, and happy."
"All marriages have their tough times, and ours is no exception, but we always made the effort to work through it, rather than running."
"It could be also because both of us come from divorce and didn’t want that for us or our kids."
- _sp00ky_
Better as Friends
"I had turned 20 less than a week before, and he'd just turned 19. We stayed married for five miserable years and had two kids before I asked for a divorce. And it truly was misery the entire time."
"We've now been divorced for over 10 years, there's an ocean between us, and we have a great sibling-like relationship, lol (laughing out loud)."
- twentythirtyone
Married for the Right Reasons
"We married at 23, and over 20 years later, the kids are grown, and we're still together and happy. Our kids have actually thanked us at different points for still being together because their friends always had f**ked up family situations and we didn't."
"It's not always easy. If you start from a place of 'we said for as long as we live, and we mean it,' solving marital arguments/problems promptly, fairly, and lovingly becomes the most important thing in life."
- marmot1101
"On the other hand, if it’s a bad marriage, divorce is better. My parents stayed together because they believed it would have been disruptive for the kids to be separated. Well, it’s a h**l of a lot more disruptive to be stuck in the middle of two people who can’t stand each other, let me tell you!"
- turningsteel
"I think this is a key thing. I always tell people, 'If you get married expecting to be happy every day of it, there’s no way you’ll last.+"
"I got married expecting good seasons and bad seasons. There’s no way you can spend 50 or more years with someone and expect it will always be rainbows and sunshine. It’s hard work, but for me and my husband, it’s more than worth the payoff."
- whosthatwhovian
Hopeful to Hear
"It makes me really happy and hopeful to hear that a lot of you did work."
"I assumed that people like me, pregnant at 18 and married at 19, would end up in divorce around 25. I figured my grandparents were the last generation that could know 60- to 70-year marriages."
- No_Koala_2555
"My Aunt and Uncle were married at 19. They were married for over 50 years. She passed away during the pandemic due to complications with breast cancer."
"I look at their marriage as a beacon."
"It's possible, and even though I'm far off their starting age, I still believe I'll find something like they had."
- YucatanPrincess
This conversation was really eye-opening, considering how a relationship can evolve over time through hard work and tough reality checks. Hard work and clear communication can save a relationship, but sometimes, it's worth realizing that not every relationship is meant to be.
Only the couple will know what is right for them, including how fast it is right for them to marry and when it's time to call it quits.