Intelligence is all relative.
Who hasn't had an utterance fall out of their mouth and wondered...
"Did I just say that?!"
We're all guilty.
We can't be geniuses every waking minute.
Sometimes, the word jumble is a real issue.
But we still can't help but wonder about our insanity and intelligence.
Redditor Objective5550 wanted to hear about the things we've all said that left us scared for our IQs, so they asked:
"What’s the stupidest thing you ever said that genuinely made you question your intelligence?"
NOT THERE!!
"'You hit me in the cervix!' I am a man. I meant sternum. Still have to shake that memory out of my head sometimes."
It Hurts Sal Vulcano GIF by truTV’s Impractical JokersGiphy
In the Air
"One time I said I wish I could swim in the air and my friend said 'You mean flying?'"
- Not_AMermaid
"I often have dreams where I'm 'flying' but actually it's far more accurate to describe it as swimming in the air because it closely resembles moving using breaststroke, while only a few feet above average head height."
"That's most likely because my brain knows what swimming looks and feels like but cannot possibly depict actual self-powered flight, so it improvises!"
- No_Application_8698
"I mean I feel like flying versus being able to swim through The air would actually be subtly different. Like would you need to tread, I guess air, to hover? How much do your legs play into swimming in the air? Because with flying it’s either zero effort magic bs keeping you afloat (think happy thoughts) or you gotta use your arms/wings."
- AVerySexyDorito
Front-Facing
"I said it would be nice if we had a 'mirror app!'"
- BeKindImNewButtercup
"Lol... this reminds me of this one time I was at a gift shop, I tried on a hat and the mirror was all the way on the other side so I just pulled up my phone to see myself in the front camera. This man came up to me and genuinely asked me how I did that lol I showed him and he was super embarrassed when he realized it was just the front-facing camera. lol."
- coffeendonuts1
"I remember back in the early iPhone days, there was a 'mirror' app that simply turned your screen black. Really pissed off a lot of people, legit thinking it would turn their screen into an actual mirror."
- Prickly_ninja
Grandma-in-the Stroller
"'If there are adult diapers, why aren't there adult strollers?'"
"My husband, looking at me like he regrets ever meeting me: 'You mean wheelchairs??'"
- TrainwreckMooncake
"I used to use one of those original large-wheeled strollers. I could just squeeze in, put my kid on my lap, and use the wheels like a wheelchair. My kid thought it was fun as hell, but strangers looked at me with great concern."
- erectc**t
"When my daughter was two she had four great-great grandmas, two great-grandmas, and two grandmas alive. She had met all of them and gave them all nicknames to distinguish them. 'Grandma-With-the-White-Hair,' ''The-Old Grandma,' 'The-Noisy-Grandma,' etc. My wheelchair-bound grandma with MS was 'Grandma-in-the Stroller.'"
- SheManatee
Aloud
"I don’t know if this counts because praise the Lord I did not say it aloud."
"The scene: Me, a college senior still living in a dorm doing my weekly snacks and root beer run at the local Wal-Mart."
"The thought: 'Man, how do people with a whole family grocery shop? Like what do you do if you buy more than you can fit in your arms?'"
"Carts. That’s what carts are for."
- ArtemisGirl242020
75/25
"My manager's manager asked me to ballpark the percentage of time I was spending on each of my three projects. I confidently told him: 75% on project A, 25% on project B, and 25% on project C. I heard my cubicle neighbor laughing (didn't immediately realize that she was laughing at me). The manager's manager paused a moment, then in a very kind and patient voice (like he was speaking to a Labrador with a learning disability) 'So, I'd like those numbers to add up to 100%. Can you try again?"'Then it dawned on me."
- AreHipposBitey
Speed Up
"Claimed that the slowest animal is probably an enema. I misspoke and meant to say anemone. I'll never forget the looks of confusion from my coworkers."
- goldrising84
scared season 2 GIF by Blunt TalkGiphy
What are the Odds?
"I was on a long train trip, gazing out the window, when I said to my friend: 'I feel like every railroad crossing gate we’ve passed since I’ve been looking has been down… what are the odds…'"
"I have a PhD (not in trains)."
- Orioliolios
"I worked on the railroad doing track maintenance. Every now and then upper management would travel by in a pickup modified to run on the rails. Which meant we had to move all tools and get out of the way to allow them to pass. Word would come over the radio."
"Word came down that the bigwig was irritated that every time he came by, we were just standing around by the track."
- mkanoap
"Oh Ok"
"I asked what half of 200 was. When I was given looks of 'You’re joking right?' I quickly realized what an idiot I really was."
- gdpinleoeee
"I had a work colleague ask what 10% of 100 was. I just kind of looked and blinked. I mean I assumed it would click. But no, she pulled out a calculator and tapped it in."
"But the real killer was that even when the calculator gave her the answer, she just went 'oh ok' and wrote it down. At no point did she ever have any kind of realization that the answer should have been obvious."
- StingerAE
Samsies
"Got introduced to identical twins. The first thing I said was, 'Wow, how can you guys tell each other apart?'"
- MisterFives
"I was at a birthday party for twins. I was about to open my mouth to say 'What a coincidence that you have the same birthday' but I caught myself. I did tell another friend that night what I was about to say and he found it pretty hilarious."
- ScreamingChicken
Full of Sky
“'Oh look, it’s a full sun out today.'"
- imadeacrumble
"I might start saying this now, to be honest."
- shkamc16
Animation Illustration GIF by darrenjturnerGiphy
Turkey Day
"Years ago a coworker and I were discussing how many Japanese people apparently have a KFC dinner for Christmas. We then wondered 'What do they do for Thanksgiving?' and began attempting to google it. Spent quite a few minutes trying to search it up, remarking to each other in confusion that we couldn't find anything at all. I then realized how incredibly stupid we were."
- firfetir
Dreams
"This one still haunts me. I once was having surgery and in walks the anesthesiologist asked me questions and to see if I had any for him. I said, 'Just two. Do people dream?' And he responds, 'Not usually. What's your other question?' And I said, 'Is it normal to be afraid I won't wake up.' And he goes, 'I promise you will.'"
"'Me: Well I bet I won't!"
"I. BET. I. WON'T. I bet the anesthesiologist I was going to die. Like a f**king idiot."
- SaraSmashley
Write a Note
Police lights!
"OK, here goes, I was going to be late for my Psychology class. The teacher had already warned me not to be late."
"What do I see in my rearview mirror on the way to class? You guessed it, I was speeding, and it was Police lights! So I pull over and I give the Officer my driver's license, reg, and ins. papers and he seemed very friendly and nice and said I will be right back pureGoldie, That was when I got real dumb, I said 'Oh btw, will you write me a note for my teacher? I've already been warned not to be late today. I know this is making me late for sure!' He replied with a big smile, 'Oh, I am going to write you a note, alright!'"
"Yep, I was that dumb."
- pureGoldie
Barred
"What's a chocolate bar? A lady told me that she loved chocolate bars, and I pictured a bar that serves chocolate instead of booze for a moment, and then I felt very stupid."
- Peptic_Germ
Add Chocolate Bar GIF by Children Ruin EverythingGiphy
We all have our moments... and certainly lapses in mental acuity.
Try not to judge yourself too harshly.
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