No matter how much we love someone, there's a chance that there's something about us that we might worry will impact the other person's love for us.
But keeping something a secret until after getting married, perhaps out of fear that they will not want to say "I do" anymore, is not the greatest look.
Already cringing, Redditor amperia_queen asked:
"What did your spouse keep secret from you until you were married?"
Shared Interests
"That she didn't actually like science fiction movies and Weird Al."
- Pavlock
"That's grounds for an annulment."
- pquin
The Missing Diagnosis
"Severe untreated ADHD."
"I found out five years later, when my father-in-law and mother-in-law casually mentioned it while going through divorce proceedings."
"Every single day of my marriage made so much more sense after reading a few books."
- Salt_Temporary_7855
"That last sentence hits hard. I apparently got diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, but my parents dismissed it and didn't tell me until I was 25 or 26."
"I got officially 're'-diagnosed last year, and my partner has told me, 'How could your parents never notice there's something wrong with you' SO many times since then."
- thebrible
Small Sacrifices
"That he actually hates chicken breasts."
"When we met, we were very poor students, so buying a whole chicken to carve up was the cheapest option. He knew I liked the leg, so he would eat the chicken breast without ever complaining or asking for another cut."
- da2810
An Unexpected Consequence
"Me, I kept the secret."
"I am absolutely terrified of water slides and didn't tell my Wife until we were on our honeymoon and I was standing at the top of a huge water slide, having a panic attack."
"She was so excited to go to this park that I convinced myself it would be okay."
"Welp. It was not."
- mybirbatemyhomework
"My wife LOVES roller coasters. She knows everything about every one of them in this hemisphere. When we first started dating, I told her I'd never been on one, so she was so excited to take me to an amusement park to have that first-time experience."
"We get there, get in line for a ride, and just before getting on, she says, 'Alright, have fun! I'll see you when you're done!'"
"It turns out she is deathly afraid of riding roller coasters, and she just likes the ambiance of them and watching others ride them, like some sort of roller coaster voyeur."
"We have four kids now, which makes it more socially acceptable for her to be like, 'Oh, I'm just waiting here for the kids,' while taking pictures with a huge grin on her face."
- Excellent_Farm_2588
A Massive Inheritance
"He was due to inherit a really substantial sum of money. I was making budgets based on our social security and my income because I was still working. It was truly a jaw-dropping moment and I was gobsmacked. That took a while to process."
- pinktinroof
"I mean until you actually inherit, that's the prudent thing to do. There are many ways an expected inheritance can not happen."
"Also inheritance is separate property in most places so you may not have been entitled to any of it in case of a divorce. Planning for your own comfortable retirement is the most reliable way to ensure you have one, let anything else be a bonus."
- GMN123
"His reasoning was, 'It’s not mine till it’s mine,' so you’re spot on. And he’s ensured that I’m taken care of, whatever happens. We were friends for a long time before marriage, so we actually like each other, and, come what may, will not have anger and bitterness towards each other."
- pinktinroof
A Terrible Possibility
"That she was very, very mean."
- howardzen12
"I feel your pain."
- gariepjdj
A Gross Discovery
"I don't remember how this started, but one day, years into being together, I realized I had never seen my husband clip his toenails. I asked him when he does it because I was curious; it seemed weird I had never seen him do such a mundane task."
"Thus began years worth of him messing with me and refusing to tell me. Not for any reason other than I really wanted to know. And it drove me CRAZY. It's such a simple thing! Why wouldn't he tell me? Argh!"
"Well. One day we had to move our heavy couch unexpectedly and I found what I called the Toenail Graveyard. He didn't trim his toenails, he tore them off, and APPARENTLY threw them behind the couch."
"The look on his face... he was mortified. I was so repulsed, I think I just walked away."
"Now that the jig is up, he clips his nails in the bathroom like a normal human, instead of tearing them off and hiding them around the house like some kind of demented feral beast."
- whatsthisbuttondo333
Life-Changing.
"He had a newborn baby with his ex."
- Festygrrl
"That's kind of a big deal, right?"
"Because that's SO different than just having a child with an ex who you're co-parenting with. Having a baby probably means cheating, right? Ugg, the nerve."
- Random_Precision195
Work History And Work Future
"That she had no intention of ever working, even though she had six figures of student loans."
"Yes, obviously we talked about it before getting engaged. She had promised me she was going to work full time."
- Immediate-Court4726
"Same here. While we were dating, I took on paying all the bills while she made a career transition into teaching. About 18 months after we were married, she quit teaching and only worked a few days a week making minimum wage."
- Guido-Cavalcante
Precarious Nights
"That her side of the bed somehow comes with extra pillows, extra blankets, and apparently extra space... meanwhile, I’m living on the edge, literally."
- Vast_Variety1363
"My partner only learned this when he moved in with me too. We aren’t married yet, so I guess he still has time to decide it’s not the life he wants. It’s been four years, though, so I think he’s resigned to his blanket and pillow-less existence."
- kandikand
A Surprise Talent
"I fancy myself a well above average ping pong player (former tennis player). I usually beat my friends and colleagues and I’m always up for a game."
"My wife has never really shown any interest in any sports or games of any kind."
"Several years after we were married, we found ourselves randomly at a ping pong table in a public space, and she suggested we play."
"She wasn’t terrible, better than that. She in fact could hold a rally, had decent form, and placed the ball."
"Me, as we started rallying: 'WHAT. HOW?'"
"She shrugged and said, 'You never asked.'"
"Honestly, her humility is pretty sexy."
- Varka44
A Tough Secret
"I didn't tell my spouse until three weeks before the wedding that my dad had been in prison for 10 years. I was very ashamed, and thought they would think less of me."
- sunsetviewer
"Hey, the fact that you told him before the wedding was honorable. I can’t imagine he’d call it off over that, but you gave him the option, and the fact that you did that likely made him trust you more."
- Gypsyrocker
A Voice To Remember
"My spouse didn’t tell me how awful their singing voice was until we got married. They used to lip-sync to the radio in the car, and I thought they were just shy."
"It wasn’t until we were comfortably married that they finally belted out a song, and it was hilariously off-key."
"Now, it’s one of my favorite quirks about them, and we laugh about it all the time."
- Plus-Code-7436
A Secret Celebrity
"That he was on an episode of 'Cops.'"
- CatPawSoup
"Uhhhh, as a cop, a suspect, or a cameraman?!"
- blenneman05
"He was in the background, waving a vacuum hose. He used to sell vacuums in Vegas."
- CatPawSoup
"That might be the funniest possible response to that question, lol (laughing out loud)."
- -Comrade-Kitten-
Pancake Weekends
"My spouse makes fantastic pancakes and didn’t tell me. Never once made them while we were dating. Six years of a pancake holdout."
"Then a few days after our wedding, my spouse is standing in the kitchen, whistling and FLIPPING pancakes. I was shocked anyone could actually flip a pancake."
"He just says, 'Morning, babe,' and sets out a plate of perfect pancakes. Refused to use store-brand syrup… nope, we are a 'maple syrup' household."
"Buttery and not too sweet, and fluffy, beautiful golden brown. A faint cinnamon flavor."
"I make good pancakes, but this was ridiculous. I asked, 'Why haven’t you ever made me pancakes?'"
"'You never asked for pancakes, I make awesome pancakes. I won a pancake contest once,' was my spouse's response."
"The only way I forgave this secret is pancakes on the weekends. Watch who you marry."
"We were long-distance for six years because of their military deployments and my education. We now have an inside joke where I stand up and yell, 'Pancake liar!' and point dramatically. It’s been 12 years of perfect pancakes on the weekends for me."
- Bulky_Try5904
While we were expecting deep, dark secrets and skeletons in the closet, many of these were either incredibly wholesome stories, or were beautiful opportunities for the couple to grow together, like working through a diagnosis together.
Some obstacles and differences of opinion can certainly make the heart grow fonder, but of course, it's best to be honest upfront whenever possible, especially with something as serious as marriage.
@sama/X
