an Oh Myyy Property

In a world where everyone can be filmed in an embarrassing way at any given time, asserting yourself is a bit of a rarity. Imagine something awful happening, or someone trying to rip you off, and instead of just letting it slide you call them out on it. That feeling of euphoria and power would last forever. Power. Move. And as long as you're alert, those moments can come out of anywhere.


Reddit user, u/Akilonn2 , must have wanted to feel inspired when they asked:

What are the best power moves you've ever seen someone do in real life?

What's Yours Is Mine Now

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I asked my friend's 3 year old son who his new girlfriend was.

He said it was my girlfriend.

insanecrazy4

Pants? Not A Problem.

I was at a party in college. One of my friends was chatting up some girl he was into. Another one of our friends went up and pants him - pants and boxers.

My dude didn't freak out, or break conversation flow. He just stood there daffy-ducking with zero f-cks given.

And that man got laid that night.

Ganglebot

Let Me Just Tap Myself Off

At a bar, not particularly busy, bartender was talking to some girl across bar, ignoring everybody else who was trying to get drinks.

10 minutes go by, still chatting, guy reaches across bar and fills himself up from tap.

Somatose-

Don't Test Me, Professor

My father told me this story. He had a friend that took philosophy class and they were discussing authority. The teacher made an example: "If I say, the class is over you can leave, you will do it. But if Mark says the same thing you will stay here."

After that Mark stood up and said the class was over they could leave AND EVERY STUDENT LEFT THE ROOM.

He_Schizophreniac

Just Following Your Rules...

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this kid from my class in high school was too late for physics class. when he entered the class the teacher said "when you are too late you know you are not supposed to enter that door, Jacob".

So, this happened on a summer day, and the fire exit-door was open... after ten minutes we hear this walking sound on the metal steps of the emergency stairs outside. We had class in room 403, the fourth floor. After a while we all see Jacob entering the room from the fire exit like nothing happened and sit down.

thisisBigToe

No, We're Done Here

I was meeting up with my friends at the bar. They had all been there for a while and comprised about 90% of the bar's business. When I walked in the hostess decided I was going to be the first one charged a cover fee for entry. I told her I wasn't there for their event and just wanted to sit with my friends already at the bar. She told me tough luck basically and that I would have to pay.

I yelled over to my friends she wouldn't let me in without paying and they all just stood up and left so we could go to our favorite bar instead. Was only like a $5 or $10 doller cover, and instead of getting it they lost the majority of their current business (about 7 people total, all of whom drink more than they should). My friends made me look like a boss, but it wouldn't have been a power move without them.

I'm lucky to have a great group that has each other's back.

LetYourLoveShow

My Buddies Against Yours

Driving somewhere with my brother in the middle of the night. Stop at the gas station, kid runs up to the car as we're going to drive away, my brother rolls down the window. Kid asks my brother to buy him smokes, my brother tells him straight to f-ck off. Kid tells my brother to f-ck off for disrespecting him, and that he "best drive off like a b-tch or him and his buddies will beat us like the p--sies we are". Some sh-t like that.

My brother says some sh-t like, "Oh sorry 'sir', I guess I need my buddies then" and flashes his badge at the kid.

Kid's eyes went huge and he ran.

billbapapa

Enjoy My Fart Cloud

My boyfriend's 5-year-old niece was sitting on my lap. Her 7-year-old brother wanted to sit on my lap, so she farted on me and was like "guess you'll have to sit in my fart cloud, now."

fwooby_pwow

Huh...People Appreciate The Chase, I Guess

Dropped my son at preschool early with breakfast. Only other kids there was a girl eating her breakfast at one end of the table. She bats her eyes and says, "You can sit by me."

He says, "I like this seat over here," at the other end of the table.

And she got up and moved.

nevermind-stet

Teach 'Em Early

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One of my friends' daughters has hearing aids (they're similar to the ones old people use, but with an extra piece on them? They're not the ones that are attached to your head.). If someone is bothering her and she doesn't want to deal with them, she pulls her hearing aids out and keeps doing whatever she was doing.

This girl is eight.

partofbreakfast

H/T: Reddit

Flash Forward

Had a friend walk up to a girl at a party and say "you are the hottest girl here and I am the best looking guy. We belong together." He took her home and they are married now. She was the hottest girl there, it's debatable on him.

Tratopolous

Tips Please

Was at a Mexican restaurant on Cinco de Mayo. Place was absolutely packed, yet somehow there were only like 2, maybe 3 waiters on staff. We'd been there like 40 minutes and had drinks, but still hadn't gotten to order food.

This dude at the next table stands up, starts taking peoples orders and delivering them to the kitchen. The other waiters seemed liked they really appreciated it, because people were starting to get pissed until that point. He didn't take my table's order but he took one nearby and he sounded pretty fun. A friend ran into him a few months ago and said he's really cool.

bcrabill

The restaurant made the power play here. They made their service so bad that they managed to get a free server

smits017

Patience

I was at a 24hr grocery store once around 10 or 11pm. I'm 2nd in line waiting at the only cash register in the store, and there were no employees to be seen. Not even the stock team. We ring the bell for service, yell out "HELLOOOO," even walk around looking for an employee... nothing.

Finally after 10ish minutes the guy in front of me says "f--- this" and just walks out with a full cart of groceries. Got away with the whole thing! An employee showed up not even a minute later and no one in line said a word.

sazzcass

And if the cashier dies in the middle of your transaction you get free groceries for the semester.

ohne_hosen

Shipwreck

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I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.

But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.

And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.

He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.

Jtt7987





Addiction makes you do strange things...

Addictions are dangerous. It takes a hold of your life and strangles it. It festers slowly and disintegrates your world. Well most of them do. We all have behavioral addictions that often become a quirky character trait. Sometimes it can actually be cute. Well certain behaviors within reason that is. Some can be downright annoying and fodder for the therapist.

Redditor u/milanamilana asked people to divulge a few things, asking... What's your "strange addiction"?

Ah the cones...

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When I am out walking in wooded areas I spend a lot of time trying to find pine cones to stand on.

I do it because when you find a suitably dry one it feels amazing and sounds so good. Do it. Tends to work best if they are stood upright. wewannagetloaded

The sound of music...

I will listen to music for hours on end while walking around a room, imagining various stories and scenarios. Glissando365

I do that constantly. It doesn't interfere with my life but I love coming up with all kinds of stories and dropping myself into them. ParsnipPizza2

Flesh eater.

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Chewing the inside of my mouth. classik_e

My 30 year old sister has done this her whole life, and I have never seen or met anyone else that does it as noticeably as her. She'll take the second knuckle of her index finger and push her cheek in so she can chew on it. She's gotten better about not doing it as often. I've never asked her why she does it. yolkfacekilla

Daydream Believer. 

I'm not sure how common this is but shopping for million dollar penthouses and yachts that I will never be able to afford. I just like to dream I guess. ShellSwitch

I do this a ton, it's my night time wind down in bed activity to look at /r/roomporn and imagine myself as the buyer. What I would change, what I like etc etc. ExeterMegaladon

Yuck! 

This is so gross but I am addicted to picking. Pimples, dry skin, scabs, anything pick-able I will dig at it till I bleed. No I am not on drugs. It's so bad that I am contemplating hypnosis. Annon8765

I'm so hangry!

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Going through the kitchen in search of food, giving up, then lowering my standards and looking again. bibi-chocobun

I do this ALL THE TIME!!!!

I open the fridge, look around, take a mental note of what is there and close the doors and walk away. an hour later i come back and open the fridge, look around and think of what i might want... as if my stomach wants it, but my brain says no. tunersharkbitten

Look at the people...

Analyzing other people when I'm out in public. I enjoy trying to figure out who they are just by what I see. DARKcsb

I like doing this with my mom.

We would guess "who went with who" at the food court in the mall when I was growing up. We would look at people with their trays of food and try to guess who their significant other was waiting at the table.

My mom was almost always right. It's a fond memory :) girlroseghost

Staying mute...

I'm addicted to avoiding phone calls. QiNavigator

I purposefully reply to texts with at least hour delay so it's not fishy that I am never able to accept any calls.OresteiaCzech

I found a reality series...

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Donating sperm to lesbians.

I started off donating to some friends then they began recommending me to other lesbians through a FB group.

It's so rewarding and I've fathered 7 so far. Socialist7

Thank you for reading! 

Reading creepy stories on Reddit, which I guess isn't that strange. Alec122

And then regretting it when you try to sleep? Because that's what I do. CautiousMusic

REDDIT

Sam Tabone/WireImage via Getty Images, Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic via Getty Images

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If you talk to anyone studying English as a second language, they'll tell you how hard it is to learn. If you grew up speaking English as your only language, it probably doesn't seem that difficult; but as a bilingual native English speaker who learned a second language later in life I can tell you, English is WEIRD!

English has so many inconsistencies in spelling, pronunciation, verb conjugation...don't get me started. American English, UK English, and Australian English all spell things differently and the same word can have completely different meanings or connotations.

It wasn't until my freshman year of high school when I started learning Japanese, in which a word is always pronounced exactly like it looks like it should be, that I gained a real understanding of how hard English would be for someone to try to learn as a second language. Even as a native speaker who loves the English language and writes for a living, I sometimes struggle with its many homophones (there, their, and they're, for example) and grammatical inconsistencies. Even our mnemonics that are taught in school to help remember these differences don't always hold true. "I before E, except after C" is something most American children are taught in elementary school, but what about neighbor, weight, and veil?

Redditor STUDkatz asked:

What's something weird about English (or another language) that native speakers don't think about?

Below, you'll find an assortment of the weird quirks of the language that you've probably never thought about.

My Brain Hurts

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English might be difficult. It can be understood through tough thorough thought though.

-SpeeeeedBoost

It's Right, But Why?

A native speaker has a knowledge of implicit grammar (through learning naturally as a child) that would require an adult years to study and review.

You're spewing out the correct answer but god help you if someone asks you to show your work.

-BaanThai

I am an editor and I still sometimes have trouble when asked why something should be a certain way. I just KNOW it's wrong (or correct) and I can't always explain why.

-Lil-Maece

It took until i was 16 to realize there's actually a rule to figure out if you should use a or an... Before that (and admittedly since) I was just going with the one that didn't sound dumb out loud

-booneruni

Unnecessary Combination

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People assume a lot of silly things, such as words that can be combined always are.

Examples: "Yeah I maybe doing that later." or "I do that everyday."

I want to punch myself for writing that.

-PM_ME_A_PLANE_TICKET

Running A Bit Long

Run has hundreds of uses (forms). Last I checked it was a little over 250. You run a program, you run over toads in your car, the chicken run has a duck in it, The ads run too long on the TV, you run out of toilet paper, you run down to the shop in the car, you run up a bill at the shop after the assistant gave you the run around. You run into a friend but you have to run home as you had the runs and something was running down your leg. You run to the toilet but you run into a problem. Your kid is running a lemonade stand in the doorway. You're now running a little brown cable along your path. You hope nobody takes a picture and runs it in the paper as you are running for office. Your stance is against gun runners but you're hauling a little brown nuke right now. I've run out but there's more.

-PapaOoMaoMao

Sometimes The Joke Is In The Translation

Pakistani urdu-english speaker, there are a LOT of words that are absolutely hilarious when taken in the context of english but my 2 favorite have to be which is a letter in the urdu alphabet and is pronounced exactly like "Meme" and another which is a punjabi name which is literally spelled and pronounced "Butt", there is also a national level bakery brand called "Butt"

Urdu is a great language

-Theodoric___

Strength Or Weakness?

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There is a common nine letter word with only a single vowel in English.

That word is "strengths".

-Wobbles42

Ordered Descriptors

Adjectives have a specific order they are supposed to be arranged. For example, you would never say the green large five dragons. You would say the five large green dragons. The order that English typically follows for adjectives is:

1. Quantity or number

2. Quality or opinion

3. Size

4. Age

5. Shape

6. Color

7. Proper adjective

8. Purpose or qualifier

-TinkerTailorSoldjur

Rhymes with Confusion

Read and lead rhyme and so do read and lead, but read and lead don't rhyme and neither do read and lead.

-LinnyFlower

About Time You Realized It

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I never really appreciated the word "about" until I started learning French and realized there are about a couple dozen different words you have to learn about where in English we would just say "about." It's just about one of the most versatile and useful words we have.

-schnit123

Confusing Combos

Native English speaker here.

How irritatingly complex and nuanced English (and other Germanic languages) verbs are for having tons of common verbs that change meaning completely or only subtly with one flip of a preposition and sometimes even more so by stacking a few more on.

Put + on, in, out, off, toward, into, forth, away, up, up with, down, past

Set + on, off, out, in, up, down

Run + off, on, out, into, away, up, down, over, at, through

Take + on, out, in, away, up, over, off

Break + in, out, up, down, up with, into, out of away

Give + up, out, away, in, out

Get + on, in, out, up, down, away, away with, along, by, back, through, across, over, into, at

Work + up, up to, out, through

Come + in, out, by, across, through, over, at

Do + in, away with, over, up

Hang + up, in, out, out with, over, with, off, back

Then ones where the options are fewer, they're either somewhat related or *not at all*.

Chat vs chat someone up.

Make something up vs make out.

This list isn't exhaustive because I got tired of thinking but I've heard many a friend moan and groan about how every combination seems like a whole new word or phrase to memorize. That even if it looks familiar, they can't trust it. Most other languages just have a unique word for each idea or at least morphology that is somehow linked. Work + through makes sense in that it implies you're belaboring or in the midst of resolving something (imagine pushing *through* something). So some make at least a little logical sense. Put + up + with has no clue in it that it means to endure or tolerate. Come + over is just like "went from toward me above something?"

Set + off (an alarm) makes no sense at all. Isn't it actually going *on*?

Break + in (to use a new item for the first time, implying the start of the process of making it yours) — just "breaking" your boots is bad but if you do it on the inside, it's desired?

Give + out as in, "my car's engine gave out." (went kaput) Did it hand you a piece of candy?

If repeating doing something is "doing something over," then what do these mean:

"coming over"

"handing over"

"taking over"

"getting over"

At least in languages like Spanish that are better stocked in the logic department, these all are treated as different ideas that they are.

Venir a visitar

Entregar

Encargarse de

Superar

EDIT: Spelling mistakes and additional examples.

-stanographer

H/T: Reddit

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