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Bizarre Paintings Of Jesus As A Jock Have People Understandably Scratching Their Heads

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Good old Jesus.

Meek and mild, an advocate for the poor and sick, a real giver of a guy—the sort so dedicated to do-gooding that he'd even run very, very afoul of the law to do it.


But also, beware because Jesus is a also, apparently, a guy who will dunk on you if given the chance—in the literal sense, as in on a ball court. At least, that's what some old paintings recently unearthed on Twitter depict, and they are... really something.

Writer, historian and journalist Alice Dreger's work on everything from the science of gender to the advent of what we now call "fake news"—which she tackled way back in 2015—has made her a prolific voice on Twitter.

This week, Dreger posted some photos of paintings depicting Jesus Christ as a sporty jock, and well, they're very... interesting?

In the paintings, Jesus is seen receiving a lateral pass in football, kicking a soccer ball and blocking a basketball shot. His teammates all appear to be approximately 11 years old.

@AliceDreger/Twitter


@AliceDreger/Twitter


@AliceDreger/Twitter

It is... extremely weird.

Dreger's simple one-word caption of "Discuss" seems the only fitting commentary because... um...

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These paintings are extremely weird.

And also ethically questionable: consider the final painting of Jesus playing basketball. He's at least a foot-and-a-half taller than his teammates and opponents.

It really calls into question the fairness of Jesus Christ of Nazareth being on a basketball team with a bunch of 11-year-olds. To what end?

The song was "Jesus Loves the Little Children" not "Jesus Will Use His Inappropriate Age and Adult Stature To Smoke the Little Children on the Court So Best Come Correct."

What on Earth is happening here?

Turns out, a photojournalist friend of Dreger's spied them in a parochial school gym while covering Hurricane Sandy back in 2012.

And the supposed inspiration behind them was a bit eyebrow-raising.


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Who knows if that's true of course, but what definitely is true is Jesus's sportsmanship is debatable at best—as folks on Twitter pointed out.






Others just had questions of practicality.

While some folks couldn't help but notice the ol' JC's total lack of regard for safety.



Though it's worth considering that helmets might run contrary to Jesus's whole thing...

A fair question!

And of course, this being Twitter, there were also puns.

Anyway, guess we can add "mad ups" and "aggressive defense" to Jesus's resume of, you know, reviving the dead and saving all of mankind and whatnot.

Who knew!

This isn't the first go at a more approachable Jesus. In Kevin Smith's film Dogma he introduced "Buddy Jesus."

Get your own Buddy Jesus dashboard statue here.