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Guy Asks If He's Wrong For Suing Woman He Paid Child Support To After Finding Out He Isn't The Father

Guy Asks If He's Wrong For Suing Woman He Paid Child Support To After Finding Out He Isn't The Father
designer491, via Getty Images

For a man who admitted a mistake years ago and spent years paying for it, the sudden news that he did all that under false pretenses is too much to bear.

His anger culminated in a Reddit post that is rather colorful in its explanations.

"Worldy-Singer" is the Reddit alter ego of a very angry man right now.

He feels he's been swindled for over 10 years and has begun to take drastic actions to gather up some justice. Of course, the other side of the story is not happy with the latest measures he'd like to take and she called him out.

Which brings us to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" thread, where Wordly-Singer went searching for some catharsis and clarity, elaborating on everything and asking for moral-minded feedback.

AITA is the place where anonymous strangers on the internet are asked if and where guilt is placed by declaring:

  • NTA - Not The A**hole
  • YTA - You're The A**hole
  • ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH - No A**holes Here

Worldy-Singer gets right into the inciting incident and its fallout.

"Long story short, I knocked up some girl and knowing I fu**ed up I signed away paternity rights and agreed to pay child support."
"I later found out after 12 years of paying 50k in child support that she fu**ed around 6 other dudes at that time and just chose me to be the father (not telling me about the other dudes) because I was the most financially stable."

Well that is quite a lot right out of the gate.

He is not just an angry man. He is a succinct man.

He moves on to discuss his next steps upon learning the news.

"So I'm suing her for child support."
"She is calling me an a**hole for doing this because she has no family support and only makes 35k a year, and that since I make 110k a year I shouldn't be so mean."

He possessed ZERO guilt upon hearing her pleas.

"I told her that's her fu**ing fault and I don't care, I want my fu**ing money back, and I don't care if that financially destroys her, I had my wages garnished to pay for some child that wasn't even mine."
"I know for a fact that child support money wasn't even going towards that kid, it was going for her to go out partying with friends and her stupid [Multi-Level-Marketings] MLMs (products people pay a company to sell like Amway or Tupperware)."

As for any question about the truth of the new revelations, he does away with that quickly in the closing lines of the post.

"A lot of people are saying she could've just made a mistake but I don't care, she had an obligation to find out who the real father was, and yes I am a dumba** for not getting a DNA test in the beginning, but I got one now and I have proof the child isn't mine."

The forms of moral judgment in the comments below was across the board.

Some were able to, like him, focus purely on the financial fairness of the situation and deem him in the right.

"Not your kid, not your duty to pay for it."
"Her 'you make 110k' argument shows WHY she lied you would be the father: just to exploit money out of you."
"Invest your 110k income in a rearl good lawyer and let him get every last cent of your money back." -- Deferon-VS
"She should have been honest up front and even if it was a mistake it cost you 50k." -- maxhooker

These comments, though supportive, weren't without some honest, upsetting advice.

"I'd talk to a lawyer ASAP. In the US people can still be obligated to pay child support for a kid proven to not be theirs because they accepted the responsibility in the past."
"Legally speaking, you've made yourself the father, even if its proven you're not the biological parent now." -- UniqueHarmony7
"NTA for wanting your money back but not taking a DNA test is a bone head mistake." -- horsefeathers1995
"You're never getting that money back and might be obligated to pay it for the next 6 years even. You got scammed."
"It's really unfortunate and you did the right thing financially but yeah, it was your own responsibility to get a paternity test before signing anything."
"It was a foolish, expensive mistake but you're NTA for being enraged and taken advantage of." -- Stunning-General

Other Redditors felt that that mother was in the wrong.

But they also had some moral qualms with him too.

These comments finally took THE CHILD into account.

"ESH. The only one of you I feel bad for is the kid." -- sennalvera
"She sucks for not getting a paternity test upon the birth of the child. You suck for the same reason, plus a vendetta that will undoubtedly push a 12 year old into (more) poverty for the purposes of vengeance."
"This is more of an emotional, 'gots mine,' moment that will have long lasting consequences on a completely innocent person. So, yes, you suck." -- RascalBird
"You don't need the money and there's no feasible way that she's actually going to be able to pay you back. You're just going to make her spend more money in legal fees that maybe would have gone towards the kid."
"She definitely sucks, but at this point your actions are hurting the kid more than anything." -- Ultimate_Broccoli
"You can be angry, but it's amazing how you're going to blame her for not doing her due diligence when you didn't even try either." -- txkiwicurry
"I understand wanting your money back. But how will that happen with her at 35k and you at 110k logistically."
"Punishing a child makes no sense. Cut off contact and take it as a lesson to get a paternity test before paying next time!" -- KtotheAtotheS

It is unclear how selectively he will read all of this feedback, leaving the possibility of any further moral clarity a question.

But one takeaway from the whole ordeal has nothing to do with feelings or guilt, only facts.

That 12 years worth of money benefited the kid's life and, very likely, it will not be going back to the guy.