Apparently Moby and Natalie Portman never dated.
You can't just roll out an egregious claim like "oh yeah we totally dated" in your own autobiography (Then It Fell Apart) and expect zero pushback.
So finally, Moby conceded he and Portman never dated and penned an apology letter that is... just kinda gross.
Portman was very explicit that Moby and she not only didn't date, but she considered him a "creep."
"I was surprised to hear that he characterised the very short time that I knew him as dating, because my recollection is a much older man being creepy with me when I just had graduated high school...."
"He said I was 20; I definitely wasn't. I was a teenager. I had just turned 18."
"That he used this story to sell his book was very disturbing to me."
Portman elaborated:
"I was a fan and went to one of his shows when I had just graduated."
"He was on tour and I was working shooting a film, so we only hung out a handful of times before I realized that this was an older man who was interested in me in a way that felt inappropriate."
Moby at first pretended he had no idea what she meant in a now-deleted Instagram post.
He wrote:
"I recently read a gossip piece wherein Natalie Portman said that we'd never dated. This confused me, as we did, in fact, date."
"And after briefly dating in 1999 we remained friends for years."
"I like Natalie, and I respect her intelligence and activism."
"But, to be honest, I can't figure out why she would actively misrepresent the truth about our (albeit brief) involvement. I completely respect Natalie's possible regret in dating me (to be fair, I would probably regret dating me, too), but it doesn't alter the actual facts of our brief romantic history."
But then Moby, caught in his creepy act by Portman who said his book contained many "factual errors and inventions," was forced to apologize.
But even his apology seemed, um, creepy as heck.
"As some time has passed I've realized that many of the criticisms leveled at me regarding my inclusion of Natalie in Then It Fell Apart are very valid."
"I also fully recognize that it was truly inconsiderate of me to not let her know about her inclusion in the book beforehand, and equally inconsiderate for me to not fully respect her reaction."
"I have a lot of admiration for Natalie, for her intelligence, creativity, and animal rights activism, and I hate that I might have caused her and her family distress."
"I tried to treat everyone I included in Then It Fell Apart with dignity and respect, but nonetheless it was truly inconsiderate for me to not let them know before the book was released."
"So for that I apologize, to Natalie, as well as the other people I wrote about in Then It Fell Apart without telling them beforehand."
"Also I accept that given the dynamic of our almost 14 year age difference I absolutely should've acted more responsibly and respectfully when Natalie and I first met almost 20 years ago."
"Moby"
Notice anything weird about this apology?
Like, say, the number of times he totally promotes his book?
Or his continued bad math on their age difference?
Does Moby really feel sorry for anything he's done?
Or is he continuing to use this story to try and drum up book sales?
One thing that is clear is his message: I'm so sorry your feelings were hurt!
Experts say a real apology addresses only your own actions, not the other person's reactions.
Men, do better than Moby.