Most people think of Michelle and Barack Obama as the perfect example of a couple who unconditionally love and respect each other against all odds.
While that may be true, the former First Lady attributed their healthy relationship to marriage counseling.
She does not want her marriage viewed as #relationshipgoals.
While promoting her new best-selling book Becoming on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Michelle told the audience that marriage, even the best ones, take work.
Watch the YouTube clip featuring Michelle Obama on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon below.
Michelle Obama Gets Real on Marriage Counseling, Saying "Bye, Felicia" to the Presidencywww.youtube.com
During the interview when Fallon discovered the couple regularly sought marriage counseling, Michelle confirmed, "Absolutely."
"Marriage is hard. Even for us. We have a great relationship, but the thing about marriage counseling is like I was one of those wives who thought 'I'm taking you to marriage counseling so you can be fixed, Barack Obama.' Because I was like 'I am perfect.'"
She soon realized that she was not exactly 'perfect' and that a healthy marriage required her contribution as well.
"Marriage counseling was a turning point for me understanding that it wasn't up to my husband to make me happy. That I had to learn how to fill myself up and not have to put myself high on my priority list."
The venerated role model for women realized she had a responsibility to address the realities of maintaining a relationship.
"There are a lot of young people who look at me and Barack [...] and think: 'oh, I want that #relationshipgoals.' But I want young people to know that marriage is work, even the best."
After 26 years of marriage and sharing two children, they are doing something right.
But it does not come easy.
She wanted to remind younger people to avoid quitting "the minute they have a hardship."
As an example, she said:
"If you're married for 50 years and ten of them are horrible, you're doing really good. Anybody would take those odds."
For those looking for encouragement, Madamenoire quoted some of Michelle's humble expertise in past interviews reflecting on what makes a healthy marriage.
Her words deliver all the feels.
"When the kids go to bed and after [Barack's] done a little reading, we're usually curled up in our den, and we'll watch a show together. Or we'll talk and catch up. It's nothing major, but that's what marriage is about. Not the big, splashy stuff. It's just the little day-to-day sharing and routines and rituals that we still have."
"I feel vulnerable all the time. And I had to learn how to express that to my husband, to tap into those parts of me that missed him—and the sadness that came from that—so that he could understand. Love is the dinner table, love is consistency, it is presence. So I had to share my vulnerability and also learn to love differently. It was an important part of my journey of becoming. Understanding how to become us."
"Marriage flourishes when the couple works together as a team; when both husband and wife decide that winning together is more important than keeping score. Good marriages don't just happen. They are a product of hard work."
We miss her even more.
While her genuine points all ring true and make perfect sense, we can't help but still look at her and think #goals in general.
@thekalenallen/Threads
U.S. Mint
