Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Men Speculate Where They Absolutely Would NOT Take Their Penis If It Were Detachable

A penis is a very sensitive organ, okay? Men hold them dear for a reason. (See what I did there?)

Now imagine if men could remove a penis whenever they needed to. It'd be so convenient. No more random erections in uncomfortable places. No need to be concerned the next time you're playing with knives in the kitchen. You'd just go through life serving Ken Doll realness, and it'd be so practical and useful.


Men shared their thoughts with us after Redditor simbabeat asked the online community:

"Men, if your penis was easily detachable, what is a place or an event where you would definitely not take it with you?"

"Honestly I'd probably just leave it in my nightstand like all the time, as long as I could still pee without it."

Persies

Okay, fair. A practical man. Just make sure it stays in the nightstand!

"No need..."

"Work, honestly. No need for it there."

Damn_Wright

Judging by the stories I've heard about some workplaces... not so sure about "no need."

"Is it hard..."

"Is it erect when detached? Can I sing into it like a hair brush?"

TheMOESIAH

Ummm... perhaps?

What would you be singing?

Do we really want to know?

"Martial arts..."

"Martial arts for sure."

[deleted]

Now this is definitely an environment I wouldn't want my own penis in. Good call.

"I'd be..."

"I'd be open-carrying everywhere."

balticromancemyass

That's a lot of confidence you have, sir.

"No chance..."

"Any business meeting. No chance of an unexpected boner."

[deleted]

This works out quite well, especially if you have to stand and give presentations.

"As a grower..."

"The gym. As a grower, that is really embarrassing during certain exercises."

mostlyBADchoices

It would be much better to leave it in the locker before you go and work out, I think.

A sleepover..."

"A sleepover with friends. We'd probably just end up swapping them around or playing "hot potato" with them."

thatrockguy7

What a day to be able to read.

"I lose anything..."

"It would never leave my bedroom. I lose anything that's not attached."

Aran909

Ah, a man who knows themselves well.

"I'd treat it..."

"I’d treat it like my car when going out for drinks and just leave it at home. Don’t have to worry about losing it, or wrecking it. Or using it while intoxicated."

[deleted]

So responsible! Good for you!

Turns out men are a lot more practical with their penises off than on. Who knew?

Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Morgan Freeman; Diane Keaton
Arnold Jerocki/WireImage/Getty Images; Pierre Suu/Getty Images

Morgan Freeman Reacts To Learning Diane Keaton Said He Was Her All-Time Favorite On-Screen Kiss

On Thursday, veteran actor Morgan Freeman was a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and the host had news to share with the Oscar winner.

The late actress Diane Keaton named Freeman as her favorite on-screen kiss. The pair starred as a long-married couple in the 2014 film 5 Flights Up.

Keep ReadingShow less
Ted Cruz; Marjorie Taylor Greene
Kayla Bartkowski/Getty Images; Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Ted Cruz Slams Marjorie Taylor Greene For Becoming 'Very Liberal'—And People Can Not

Speaking on CNBC's Squawk Box, Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz criticized his GOP colleague, Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, for being "too liberal" after she criticized their fellow Republicans over wages and healthcare amid the ongoing government shutdown.

Cruz specifically cited Greene’s criticism of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) and noted that, back in July, she became the first Republican in Congress to describe the crisis in Gaza as a “genocide.”

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Billie Eilish
@missbarbieelish/TikTok

Billie Eilish Calls On Billionaires To 'Give Your Money Away' Before Announcing Huge Donation Of Her Own

Speaking at the WSJ Innovater Awards, Billie Eilish called on billionaires to "give all your money away" and asked them, "why are you a billionaire?" as she was honored Wednesday for her contributions to the music industry.

Among the billionaires in attendance was Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who accompanied his wife, Priscilla Chan, recognized for her philanthropic work.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

Trump Roasted After Sharing Quote Praising Him For Winning 'His First Nobel Prize'—And Yeah, Nope

President Donald Trump was widely mocked after he published a Truth Social post in which he quoted Energy Secretary Chris Wright, who claimed this year's Nobel Prize in physics is by an extension a win for the Trump administration.

The Nobel Foundation awarded this year's physics prize to John Clarke (UC Berkeley), Michel H. Devoret (Yale and UC Santa Barbara), and John M. Martinis (UC Santa Barbara and Qolab) for “the discovery of macroscopic quantum mechanical tunneling and energy quantization in an electric circuit."

Keep ReadingShow less
Tekedra Mawakana (L), Co-CEO, Waymo, and Kirsten Korosec (R)
Kimberly White/Getty Images for TechCrunch

CEO predicts society accepts robot death

In 2009, Waymo introduced its first fleet of driverless cars, sleek pods equipped with sensors, AI, and a “Sense, Solve, Go” system designed to navigate roads autonomously without human input. According to the company, its robotaxis now experience 91 percent fewer crashes and 91 percent fewer serious injuries than human drivers over the same distances.

But even as Waymo brags about its spotless stats, co-CEO Tekedra Mawakana is already bracing for the inevitable: the first fatality caused by one of its cars, and she thinks society will accept it.

Keep ReadingShow less