Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Men Speculate Where They Absolutely Would NOT Take Their Penis If It Were Detachable

A penis is a very sensitive organ, okay? Men hold them dear for a reason. (See what I did there?)

Now imagine if men could remove a penis whenever they needed to. It'd be so convenient. No more random erections in uncomfortable places. No need to be concerned the next time you're playing with knives in the kitchen. You'd just go through life serving Ken Doll realness, and it'd be so practical and useful.


Men shared their thoughts with us after Redditor simbabeat asked the online community:

"Men, if your penis was easily detachable, what is a place or an event where you would definitely not take it with you?"

"Honestly I'd probably just leave it in my nightstand like all the time, as long as I could still pee without it."

Persies

Okay, fair. A practical man. Just make sure it stays in the nightstand!

"No need..."

"Work, honestly. No need for it there."

Damn_Wright

Judging by the stories I've heard about some workplaces... not so sure about "no need."

"Is it hard..."

"Is it erect when detached? Can I sing into it like a hair brush?"

TheMOESIAH

Ummm... perhaps?

What would you be singing?

Do we really want to know?

"Martial arts..."

"Martial arts for sure."

[deleted]

Now this is definitely an environment I wouldn't want my own penis in. Good call.

"I'd be..."

"I'd be open-carrying everywhere."

balticromancemyass

That's a lot of confidence you have, sir.

"No chance..."

"Any business meeting. No chance of an unexpected boner."

[deleted]

This works out quite well, especially if you have to stand and give presentations.

"As a grower..."

"The gym. As a grower, that is really embarrassing during certain exercises."

mostlyBADchoices

It would be much better to leave it in the locker before you go and work out, I think.

A sleepover..."

"A sleepover with friends. We'd probably just end up swapping them around or playing "hot potato" with them."

thatrockguy7

What a day to be able to read.

"I lose anything..."

"It would never leave my bedroom. I lose anything that's not attached."

Aran909

Ah, a man who knows themselves well.

"I'd treat it..."

"I’d treat it like my car when going out for drinks and just leave it at home. Don’t have to worry about losing it, or wrecking it. Or using it while intoxicated."

[deleted]

So responsible! Good for you!

Turns out men are a lot more practical with their penises off than on. Who knew?

Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

bedazzled MAGA hat
Timothy Hurst/MediaNews Group/The Denver Post via Getty Images

Threads User's Epic Rant Ripping MAGA Fans Who Now Claim They 'Always Had Doubts' About Trump Has The Internet Applauding

As prominent MAGA minions, like QAnon conspiracy peddler and former Georgia Republican Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, have come out against MAGA Republican President Donald Trump, so too are some lesser known individuals.

Whether it's his Iran War, his continuing saga with the Epstein files, his utter failure to keep any of his campaign promises that they banked on helping them, or the abject incompetence of his hand-picked personnel, some members of MAGA are distancing themselves from the cult.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Trump Ripped For Somehow Making His 'Happy Mother's Day' Post All About Himself Without Any Mention Of Melania

President Donald Trump was criticized after he "honored" mothers on Mother's Day by attacking Democrats in a self-absorbed post on Truth Social, never mentioning his wife, First Lady Melania, who is the mother of his youngest son Barron.

Instead of acknowledging her and mothers around the country, Trump gloated about the economy and accused critics of having "Trump Derangement Syndrome," targeting Democrats and Jerome Powell, the Federal Reserve Chair he's been trying to push out of his administration.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Zach Galifianakis; Donald Trump
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend; Jim Watson/AFP via Getty Images

Zach Galifianakis Expertly Lays Into Comedians Who Refuse To 'Challenge' Trump When He's A Guest On Their Podcasts

Actor and comedian Zach Galifianakis called out comedians who have had President Donald Trump on their podcasts and didn't "challenge" him, noting that they've effectively abdicated their role by not making jokes at Trump's expense or pushing back against things he says.

Galifianakis made that argument during a recent episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, where host Conan O'Brien remarked that few, if any, people have challenged a sitting president the way Galifianakis did when he interviewed then-President Barack Obama in 2014 on his satirical series Between Two Ferns.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Sean Duffy
Fox News

Sean Duffy Ripped After Encouraging Americans To Take 'Road Trips' As Gas Prices Continue To Soar

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy was called out after he encouraged Americans to take "road trips" as gas prices continue to rise as a result of President Donald Trump's war in Iran.

Republicans have faced pressure from constituents nationwide to address the rising cost of living, but Americans are feeling pain at the pump now that the Iran war, which the Trump administration kicked off in late February, has prompted a spike in gas prices.

Keep ReadingShow less
Crossing guard Jamele Ransom went viral after eating ice cream during a live TV interview.
@nbcphiladelphia/TikTok

Philadelphia Crossing Guard Goes To Town On Ice Cream Cone While Describing Truck Crash On TV—And Becomes An Instant Icon

I scream, you scream, and apparently, Philadelphia crossing guards scream for ice cream during breaking news interviews. Crossing guard Jamele Ransom became an instant internet favorite after casually eating a cone while recounting a chaotic playground crash near S. Weir Mitchell Elementary School on live TV.

The now-viral moment came after police said Robert Littlepage, 18, of Douglasville, Georgia, allegedly attempted a carjacking last Tuesday before stealing a white utility truck and crashing near the school.

Keep ReadingShow less