Kids truly say the darndest things. They're always to excited to show us a new talent or trick- even if it's a little TMI.

u/donut_pickle asked: Parents of Reddit, what is the best "weird flex but ok" moment you've seen from your child?

Sick tatts.


When my kids were potty training, he was in a phase where he loved temporary tattoos. We used tattoos as a reward for a successful potty trip. He got so he was covered on both arms, back and chest. We didn't think much of it, living in Seattle, until one summer day we took him to the wading pool.

For one of the first times in public, we took his shirt off, and he strode out into the pool with his toddler abs, and Thomas the tank train shorts, looking like he had just finished a hard set of reps at the free weights in the prison yard.



When my son was about 6, he was in the back seat with a friend, and he boasted that he had once thrown up his entire Chinese dinner on his bedroom carpet and you could see the food and everything.




My daughter (3) can poop in the back yard without anyone knowing. I picked it up for weeks wondering why the dog's poop looked so weird.

I looked out of the sliding glass door one day while my girls were playing. I saw my 3 year old pooping in the middle of the yard. Her older sister (5) sprayed her with the water hose as soon as the log hit the ground.

It was a spectacular scene, and I will never let them forget it.


Darn kids.

When my son was potty training, I started letting him do the clean-up, then I'd have to finish.

After a bit of this, he figured he was pretty well good to go on his own, and he was very "big boy" about it. So for the next couple of weeks, he'd do his thing (which always included stripping naked) then come running out to wherever I was, bend over with his cheeks spread, and shout "Hey, Mom! I wiped my butt all by myself!! Lookit!!"


I am the cute one.

"There are lots of members of our family tree, and I'm probably the prettiest one, don't you think?" - my daughter (to me), age 7.

She is an identical twin, so kind of a weird flex.


Man up.


My 5 year-old son woke up with his voice hoarse from a cold.

Me: oh, you've got a cold.

Him, solemnly: no, I think i'm a man now.


Practically perfect in every way.

Not a parent, but I teach swimming lessons. This one 5 year old first day of lessons was like, "I'm not very good at kicking."

So I said, "That's okay. Nobody is perfect at everything."

Dead serious he just goes, "No, I'm perfect at everything."


What a weird lie.

When my sister was younger she told her teacher that my dad was a clown. He actually owns an autobody shop but I guess she thought he was a pretty funny.

Apparently the parent / teacher conference was hilarious.

"Your daughter tells us you're a clown? What an...interesting career."


Power move.


Not my kid - but a friend of mine was trying to teach his daughter to pick up her toys when she was younger.

When she didn't do it one time, he told her he was going to throw away everything that was still on the floor. She picked them up and put them in the trash can for him.


That works, I guess.

"Kati, you have to eat 3 more green beans before you're excused."

"No! No more"

"3 more."

"I'm gonna eat 4 more!!"

Oh no you got me good.


That's definitely not what that means.

Not a parent, this is my own weird flex from when I was a kid. I had athletes foot and I was bragging about it to anyone who would listen because I thought people would think I was an athlete and therefor think I was cool. That's not what happened.


That's *kind of* a flex?


I'm not the parent, but when I was around 5, my brother was 6, my mother asked us if we wanted a drink. We both said yes, but my brother asked for milk, I asked for water.

After around a minute, my brother had his milk, I had my water and then my brother said to me "I'm going to be stronger than you" I assume that was supposed to be a flex with how young we were, but being stronger is what all little kids want, right? This is where I responded, "I'm going to be healthier than you" I know I meant that as a flex and to this day, I have no idea how that was a flex...



When my now 16 year old daughter was around 4, we were driving home after a soccer game and I always you to say, "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" So we're driving home and she says, "Dad, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and the cowboy riding him" I absolutely died, loved that so much!


Math is hard.

I remember when I was little I was spinning around in a circle, counting and counting. I turned to my mom and said, "You can only count to 100. You can't go higher. It's impossible," in a deadpan tone.

Now I'm a freshmen and algebra is kicking my dumba**.


Get wrecked.


My little cousin is 7 and learning to read. So every night you have to sit with him and read his book issued by the school. He hates it. So one night I was visiting and said I would read with him.

So he opens the book and proceeds to say all the words out loud (correctly and exactly as written), turning the pages and everything, while looking straight into my eyes.


George Takei's Halloween Costume Contest 2019

Anyone who's had to deal with putting a toddler to sleep knows the struggle that comes with the job.

Something about bedtime—especially when you can tell they're tired—just makes kids want to do everything in their power to stay awake.

Keep reading... Show less
Southbury Police Department

A principal for a Connecticut middle school was arrested after a fight in a parking lot.

Kris Szabo, principal at Coleytown Middle School in Westport, Connecticut was arrested on November 27 after police responded to reports of an assault in a parking lot.

Keep reading... Show less

After a Black employee filed a race discrimination lawsuit against CNN, a Vice President of the company allegedly threatened to kill him.

After the incident was reported, the VP employee went unpunished while the Black employee was further disciplined.

Keep reading... Show less

Gays are the most extra.

But sometimes our moms are showing us up ten ways from Sunday.

Keep reading... Show less

When it comes to our sexuality, we are complex beings that cannot be categorically confined.

A past sexual exploit does not label you for life as sexual experimentation happen and desires can change over time.

And is there a need for labels, anyway?

Keep reading... Show less
left: Noam Galai / Stringer / Getty Images
right: @amyschumer / Instagram

In true Amy Schumer fashion, she is showing her appreciation for her personal trainer by sending her a 'Cease and Desist' letter.

Schumer collaborated with her attorney, admittedly wasting valuable resources, to create the trolling document that, in a weird way, was really meant as a thank you note.

Keep reading... Show less