Stepmoms have big shoes to fill when they are newly added into a family.
But it seems nobody would want "Mary" as a stepmother.
Redditor "lordsozo" was 14-years-old, when Mary came into the picture and made her teenage life a miserable one.
Now an adult, the Original Poster (OP) was forced to take in Mary and her father to live with her in her apartment due to the national health crisis resulting in the loss of their home.
But the OP threw Mary out of her apartment for her racism and for throwing a temper tantrum that resulted in the destruction of a prized possession.
The first sentence in the Original Poster's (OP) Reddit post already explains for her AITA (Am I the A**hole) subReddit post, titled:
"AITA for telling my stepmom that she isn't my mother, and then kicking her out?"
She began the post with:
"My stepmother (49F), who we'll call Mary, is a conservative, and also does extreme racist things, which I'm not going to delve into right now."
"She got married to my dad when I was 14, and after she moved in, she used to force me to diet, and tell me that men liked women who did this, and that."
The pandemic was made worse when the OP was reunited with Mary.
"She and my dad moved into my apartment as they lost their house due to the virus. They are not paying any expenses, or chipping in."
When the OP announced news of her boyfriend moving in to her apartment, Mary did not approve.
Her reasoning was appalling.
"Yesterday at dinner, I told them my boyfriend was moving in with us, and she replied with 'India? Which state is he from?' and I tell her Kerala."
"So she tells me that he can't move in with us because he's from Asia, and Kerala is a dirty place where uneducated people live, etc, that he can't move into her house, and that I need to break up with him ASAP."
"I told her that she doesn't own my apartment, and if she doesn't like him being in MY apartment, she can move out. Also called her out for her racism and ignorance."
Mary did not take the confrontation well and took it out on a precious keepsake belonging to the OP.
"She got up crying and rushed into my bedroom. Heard things being thrown around and breaking, so I went in, and found a ceramic music box my grandpa got me shattered in pieces."
"I was furious. My grandpa is dead, and that was one of the only things I had from him."
"I actually snapped. Told her that she isn't my mother, and she can't go around having tantrums and did some other things I'm not ashamed of, and then kicked her out."
season 3 drama GIF by Animal Kingdom on TNTGiphy
"My dad says that I should apologize, and I told him he might as well get out of my house as well."
"Boyfriend moved this morning, and my actual mom did too. These are the only two people who think Mary had it coming."
"My dad called me up an hour ago, and told me that I really hurt her with my comments, especially the one where I told her she was not my mom, and so I blocked him."
The changes within the household had a rippling effect that incurred the wrath of another family member.
"My step aunt caught wind of this, and told me I was an ungrateful brat what with her taking care of me my entire childhood when my 'failure of a mother couldn't.'"
"So, Reddit, AITA?"
Redditors were asked to determine if the OP was one of the following:
NTA - Not The A**hole
YTA - You're The A**hole
ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
NAH - No A**holes Here
"Nope, NTA. She honestly sounds like an insufferable human." – RandallFlagg74
"What kind of an adult human throws temper tantrums after being called out of their BS"
"NTA!!!" – QuinnMri
"Frankly she's lucky you didn't throw her crazy ass out the window."
"No you aren't an a**hole, but she is, and so is your father for sticking by her even after she's behaved this way."
"Racism isn't tolerable, and it isn't ok, and it isn't explainable or justifiable."
"She can go right back on down to hell where she came from if you ask me. Good for you for telling her about herself!" – lotus-lyric
Mary's temper tantrum revealed a lot more about her personality upon closer examination.
"This is only a guess but it's a typical strategy to punish people for not behaving the way someone wants, usually found with abusers."
"The telling thing IMO is that she broke something irreplaceable. Don't think that people just smash things out of anger and don't even look at what they throw."
"They pick things rather maliciously and with intention to do maximum harm."
"An abusive partner for example won't throw his own stuff around - he'll throw things that belong to the abused partner or - in case of shared property - the abused partner is attached to."
"So OP decided her BF moves in and doesn't accept stepmom's ruling that she doesn't want this to happen, and just by pure accident she goes into the one room in the house that has only OP's stuff?"
"Which probably has her most treasured stuff because many of us have valuable and very private stuff in our bedroom? That is no coincidence.
Adult 'temper tantrums' aren't temper tantrums, they are often deliberate attacks." – ChristieFox
angry tyra banks GIFGiphy
A conversation followed breaking down the behavioral characteristics of someone who might be an abuser.
"The difference between people with anger management issues and abusers is that people with anger management issues will do harm to themselves with their anger, abusers won't."
"Person who can't manage their anger: throws *their own* prized possession, loses temper at their boss and gets fired... etc."
"Abuser: throws things that belong to other people, loses temper at their spouse and kids but is totally calm when the police show up... etc." – minuteye
"My husband used to have a temper and would throw things."
"One day he threw something (I don't remember what) and it hit a wall, bounced off wierd and ended up hitting a shelf that held my Precious Moments. One broke. He cried harder than I did."
"He hasn't thrown anything since. It is possible to have a temper that involves throwing things and not be abusive."
"The difference is the intent. My husband 1) didn't mean to hurt me by breaking my things and 2) worked to control his temper so it didn't happen again." – Kayliee73
"Actually all racists, bigots, misogynists or other assholes throw tantrums when called out on their behavior." – dreamsdo_cometrue
In an update, the OP happily reported that she was able to salvage her music box thanks to a Redditor who recommended she use a special glue called Kintsugi—an artistic Japanese method for repairing broken pottery using lacquer mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.
Whether Mary repaired her step-daughter's relationship with an apology is yet to be determined.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*