Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Couldn't Help But Notice The NSFW Shape Of Jeff Bezos' Rocket During His Space Flight

People Couldn't Help But Notice The NSFW Shape Of Jeff Bezos' Rocket During His Space Flight
Joe Raedle/Getty Images

It's been a banner couple of weeks for eccentric billionaires obsessed with space travel. Just days after Virgin Galactic founder Richard Branson's launch into space, Amazon founder and richest man on Earth Jeff Bezos just completed a space flight himself.

But Bezos and Branson share one other thing in common. Just as Branson's flight was upstaged on the internet by a photo he took in front of some wildly ugly cabinets, Bezos's has been eclipsed by something even more ridiculous: the undeniable fact that his space ship looks like a giant wang.


Does that sound like nothing more than the sophomoric ramblings of a bunch of internet jerks to you? Well sorry, you're wrong. See for yourself below, at the 1:43:00 mark.

youtu.be

There is no way around it, that is a dick. It has a glans, for God's sake. Did nobody notice this in the design phase?

Given that the ship was at least partly funded by Bezos crushing labor unions and submitting his employees to highly lucrative but often abusive working standards, some might say the shape of his ship is sort of fitting. Perhaps it was a design choice!

Anyway, Bezos finally achieved his dream of space flight this morning, along with his brother Mark and 82-year-old former test pilot Wally Funk, who joined him on his rocket called Blue Balls--er, sorry, Blue Origin, the penis-shaped rocket is called Blue Origin.

After soaring 250,000 feet above El Paso, Texas to the edge of space, Bezos and his pals then descended back to the desert in just 10 minutes, which seems a fittingly anti-climactic, some might even say premature, duration, if you know what we mean. But for Bezos, the short duration didn't dull the shine of what he called his "Best day ever."

Good for him! All Twitter cared about, however, was that he went to orbit in a giant space dong.











Bezos's dick rocket cost about $5.5 billion dollars to build and launch, which is enough to give all 1.13 million Amazon employees--4,000 of whom are on food stamps--a check for more than $4,867.25 and still leave Bezos the richest person on Earth by about a $50 billion margin. Very cool!

More from Trending

Donald Trump
Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

Trump Is Getting Roasted After Wearing A Strangely Un-Trump-Like Outfit Following His Mamdani Meeting

President Donald Trump was widely roasted after he stepped out on Saturday in something other than his usual suit and tie following his bizarrely chummy meeting with New York City Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani.

Trump isn't the world's snappiest dresser; he's known for wearing ill-fitting suits and his hair is often unkempt (and don't get us started on his orange makeup).

Keep ReadingShow less
Fortnite Just Dropped A Massive 'Bus Load' Of Homer Simpsons In Santa Monica Without Warning
@FNBRintel/X

Fortnite Just Dropped A Massive 'Bus Load' Of Homer Simpsons In Santa Monica Without Warning

Marketing in today's day and age can be tricky. It's never been easy to break through the noise in advertising, but today's marketers are competing with people at the top of their game.

Residents of Santa Monica, California, were met with an unusual sight earlier this week when a bus full of people dressed as Homer Simpson poured into the streets. The visit appeared to be part of a promotional stunt for the newly launched “Fortnite x Simpsons” season of the popular online game, whose recent update introduced a Springfield-themed island.

Keep ReadingShow less
A close up of MIllie Bobby Brown and another close up of Millie Bobby Brown holding a cat.
BuzzFeed Celeb/YouTube

Fans Defend Millie Bobby Brown After People Rush To Judgment Because Her Baby Cried During Video Shoot

It's easy to rush to judgment when we witness someone behaving a certain way or making a decision that's different from what we would do.

It's arguably even easier to rush to judgment about celebrities, whether or not this was something done consciously in front of fans or viewers on television or social media, or in a candid moment when they didn't know they were being watched or recorded.

Keep ReadingShow less
Zohran Mamdani and Donald Trump
Jim Watson/AFP via Getty Images

Zohran Mamdani Doubles Down On Calling Trump A 'Fascist' After Bizarrely Chummy Meeting

New York City Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani doubled down in an interview with Meet the Press on his decision to call President Donald Trump a "fascist," saying he sticks by something he's already "said in the past."

During their meeting in the Oval Office on Friday, a reporter asked Mamdani about a bipartisan resolution passed in the House of Representatives condemning socialism, a move that coincided with the democratic socialist Mamdani's visit to Washington.

Keep ReadingShow less
AI-Powered Teddy Bear Pulled From Market After It Offered Graphic Sexual Advice
FoloToy

AI-Powered Teddy Bear Pulled From Market After It Offered Graphic Sexual Advice

At this point it really seems like there is far more evidence that AI tools are not ready for primetime than that they're going to change the world for good.

Mishap after mishap after mishap keeps happening, including sending people into literal psychosis. Now, we can add a new WTF problem to that roster: toys that accidentally give kids sex advice.

Keep ReadingShow less