Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Couldn't Help But Notice The NSFW Shape Of Jeff Bezos' Rocket During His Space Flight

People Couldn't Help But Notice The NSFW Shape Of Jeff Bezos' Rocket During His Space Flight
Joe Raedle/Getty Images

It's been a banner couple of weeks for eccentric billionaires obsessed with space travel. Just days after Virgin Galactic founder Richard Branson's launch into space, Amazon founder and richest man on Earth Jeff Bezos just completed a space flight himself.

But Bezos and Branson share one other thing in common. Just as Branson's flight was upstaged on the internet by a photo he took in front of some wildly ugly cabinets, Bezos's has been eclipsed by something even more ridiculous: the undeniable fact that his space ship looks like a giant wang.


Does that sound like nothing more than the sophomoric ramblings of a bunch of internet jerks to you? Well sorry, you're wrong. See for yourself below, at the 1:43:00 mark.

youtu.be

There is no way around it, that is a dick. It has a glans, for God's sake. Did nobody notice this in the design phase?

Given that the ship was at least partly funded by Bezos crushing labor unions and submitting his employees to highly lucrative but often abusive working standards, some might say the shape of his ship is sort of fitting. Perhaps it was a design choice!

Anyway, Bezos finally achieved his dream of space flight this morning, along with his brother Mark and 82-year-old former test pilot Wally Funk, who joined him on his rocket called Blue Balls--er, sorry, Blue Origin, the penis-shaped rocket is called Blue Origin.

After soaring 250,000 feet above El Paso, Texas to the edge of space, Bezos and his pals then descended back to the desert in just 10 minutes, which seems a fittingly anti-climactic, some might even say premature, duration, if you know what we mean. But for Bezos, the short duration didn't dull the shine of what he called his "Best day ever."

Good for him! All Twitter cared about, however, was that he went to orbit in a giant space dong.











Bezos's dick rocket cost about $5.5 billion dollars to build and launch, which is enough to give all 1.13 million Amazon employees--4,000 of whom are on food stamps--a check for more than $4,867.25 and still leave Bezos the richest person on Earth by about a $50 billion margin. Very cool!

More from Trending

Miriam Margolyes
David Levenson/Getty Images

'Harry Potter' Star Miriam Margolyes Offers Mic Drop Explanation For Why Respecting Pronouns Matters

Sometimes it is just that easy to make people happy. This is a lesson learned over and over in our lives, but that's because it's an important one.

Actor Miriam Margolyes shared how she learned to change her behavior to make others happier. Margolyes appeared on The Graham Norton Show recently and brought up a fairly polarizing subject in the United Kingdom: trans people.

Keep ReadingShow less
Elon Musk looks on during a public appearance, as the billionaire once again turns a newsroom style decision into a culture-war grievance broadcast to millions on X.
BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP via Getty Images

Elon Musk Cries Racism After Associated Press Explains Why They Capitalize 'Black' But Not 'White'

Elon Musk has spent the year picking fights, from health research funding to imagined productivity crises among federal workers and whether DOGE accomplished anything at all besides leaving chaos in its wake.

His latest grievance, however, is thinly disguised as grammatical. Specifically, he is once again furious that the Associated Press (AP) capitalizes “Black” while keeping “white” lowercase.

Keep ReadingShow less
Elon Musk; Yale University School of Engineering and Applied Science
Brendan Smialowski/AFP via Getty Images; Plexi Images/GHI/UCG/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

Elon Musk Gets Brutal Wakeup Call After Claiming That Yale's Lack Of Republican Faculty Is 'Outrageous Bigotry'

Elon Musk—who has repeatedly whined about diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI)—took to his social media platform to whine about a lack of conservative faculty at Yale University.

Musk shared data compiled by The Buckley Institute (TBI), a conservative-leaning organization founded at Yale in 2010. TBI found 82.3% of faculty self-identified as Democrats or primarily supporting Democratic candidates, 15% identified as independents, while only 2.3% identified as Republicans.

Keep ReadingShow less
Barry Manilow
Mat Hayward/Getty Images

Barry Manilow Speaks Out After Postponing Farewell Tour Dates Due To Lung Cancer Scare

"Looks Like We Made It" singer Barry Manilow is in the process of saying goodbye to the stage and meeting his fans in-person, but he has to press pause for a few months after receiving a jarring diagnosis.

On December 22, 2025, the "Mandy" singer posted on Facebook, explaining that a "cancerous spot" had been discovered on his left lung.

Keep ReadingShow less
Chris Evans as Steve Rogers in Avengers: Endgame, the last time audiences saw Captain America before his unexpected return was teased for Avengers: Doomsday.
Disney/Marvel Studios

Marvel Just Confirmed That Chris Evans Is Returning For 'Avengers: Doomsday'—And Fans Have Mixed Feelings

Folks, once again, continuity is more of a suggestion than a rule in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Marvel has officially confirmed that Chris Evans is returning as Steve Rogers in Avengers: Doomsday, and the internet has responded exactly how you’d expect: screaming, celebrating, arguing, and a very justified side-eye toward how Sam Wilson keeps getting treated.

The confirmation comes via a teaser now playing exclusively in theaters ahead of Avatar: Fire and Ash. There is no official online release, despite leaks circulating. If you didn’t catch it on the big screen, Marvel’s response is essentially: sorry, guess you had to be there.

Keep ReadingShow less