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HOA Bans Outsiders from Trick-or-Treating
The post’s flair summed it up perfectly:
“Pull up the drawbridge! There are peasants at the gate!”
Honestly, the only thing missing was a moat filled with Pumpkin Spice Latte foam.
Halloween rules are where HOAs really excel, like Michael Myers, the moment you light a jack-o’-lantern. Over the years, we’ve seen HOAs ban skeletons, restrict wreath sizes, or fine residents for “unauthorized spider webs.” But this viral Halloween letter? It might just steal the pumpkin-shaped cake.
The HOA warned residents that too many “non-resident” children were flooding the neighborhood in search of candy. Apparently, Halloween joy had become an outside threat. Their solution? Grinch patrol for toddlers in costume.
The note began with classic HOA melodrama:
“As we prepare for Halloween, the [redacted in Sharpie pen] HOA board would like to address an ongoing concern that has affected the quality of our neighborhood’s celebration in recent years…”
The letter went on to lament an invasion of outsiders and depleted candy reserves, as though suburban streets were the last bastion of civilization.
The HOA amped up the suspense like a Twilight Zone episode, warning of foreign invaders armed with pillowcases and cute plastic pumpkins:
“Our community has long taken pride in offering a safe, charming, and well-organized Halloween experience; something that unfortunately has attracted large groups from outside neighborhoods. These visitors often arrive in packed vehicles, crowd our streets, and diminish the experience for our own children…”
To “preserve neighborhood integrity,” the HOA proposed the following:
“Trick-or-treating will be limited to children who reside in [redacted]. Volunteers will be stationed at the entrance to check vehicles during the designated trick-or-treat window: 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM on Friday, October 31. Residents expecting guests from outside the neighborhood are encouraged to make alternate plans.”
Translation: show proof of residence before you get a Reese’s.
You can view the full HOA horror script here:
And just like that, the HOA achieved what few horror villains can: Reddit thread unity.
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Still, beneath the Halloween absurdity lurks a deeper issue: HOAs love control more than ghosts love chains.
According to the Foundation for Community Association Research:
“As of 2022, roughly one-quarter of Americans (74 million) lived in community associations, which are privately governed, planned residential communities.”
In theory, HOAs promote “community well-being.” In practice, they often act like tiny governments with no chill and even less oversight, policing porch colors, garden gnomes, and now, apparently, trick-or-treaters.
Historically, HOAs have roots in exclusion, born from postwar suburban developments that used racially restrictive covenants to keep Black families and other people of color out of specific neighborhoods.
Even after such covenants were outlawed, the legacy of segregation persisted beyond zoning laws, “architectural standards,” and selective enforcement of rules that quietly maintained racial and class boundaries cleverly disguised as hypocritical regulations.
As Business Insider notes, HOA neighborhoods today still skew whiter and wealthier than those without associations, and Black homeowners continue to face higher rates of fines, violations, and disputes. So when an HOA bans “outsiders,” it’s not just about candy—it’s a modern echo of those old exclusionary practices, hanging in the fog like a haunted house built on unfinished history.
So really, it’s less Get Out and more Stay Out (Per HOA Karen Amendment #31: Thou Shalt Not Share Candy). Happy Halloween to all, except to the folks who wrote this HOA letter.Most Read
Boy Meets World's Mr. Feeny Schools Trump With Blistering Take On His Destruction Of The White House East Wing
Daniels had starred in 1776 on Broadway, for which he earned and turned down a Tony Award nomination in 1969, before the musical became a film in 1972.
Daniels captioned the photo:
"We performed ‘1776’ in the beautiful East Room when Nixon was in the White House."
@mrbilldaniels/Instagram
In perhaps a reference to Trump's petty, puerile behavior—like denying disaster aid to states he didn't win in the 2024 election—Daniels shared:
"He was very gracious even though none of us had voted for him."
The veteran actor—who will be 100 in 2027—added:
"The current president has ripped a piece of history from our lives and we mustn’t take this lightly."
A few of Trump's MAGA minions were in the comments to defend their Dear Leader.
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Their comments revealed their ignorance of White House history, but they were just parroting the Trump administration's justification for the destruction.
The Trump administration dismissed widespread criticism of Trump's vanity project and destruction of the East Wing as "manufactured outrage."
They produced a "fact" sheet of renovations that Presidents made to the property over the last century to suggest this one is no different and give Trump's acolytes rebuttals for critics like Daniels, but actual facts expose Trump's ballroom as the self-serving tribute to Trump's ego that it is.
Washington D.C. is full of venues to hold state events. The White House was intended as a presidential residence and office, not an event venue or a palace like Trump's home, Mar-a-Lago.
The East Wing, like the West Wing, was built in 1902 during the presidency of Republican Theodore Roosevelt, making both structures 123 years old. The West Wing was heavily renovated in 1934 and the East in 1942 during the presidency of Democratic President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
To claim the East Wing dates to only the 1940s is like claiming the White House is just 73 years old because of the complete interior reconstruction done between 1948-1952 by Democratic President Harry S. Truman to modernize the structure and correct structural deficiencies.
But the White House is considered to be 223 years old. Construction on the White House began in 1792 and was first occupied by President John Adams in 1800. During the War of 1812, the British—which included Canadian based forces—burned the White House in retaliation for an attack against York, Canada—which became Toronto.
The White House was rebuilt in 1817, but isn't considered 208 years old.
Another major fire occurred in 1929, this time in the West Wing, which required extensive reconstruction. The West Wing was later expanded during the 1934 renovations.
WWII prompted the renovations and expansion of the East Wing, to cover a bunker and provide more space for war time personnel and operations. The space was repurposed again during Truman's gutting of the interior less than a decade later.
Despite Trump and his MAGA minions' claims to the contrary, both FDR's and Truman's renovations were heavily criticized and controversial at the time. But both proved necessary for the country and the preservation of the building, whereas Trump's ballroom is a convenience, but not a necessity.
Kate Andersen Brower, author of The Residence: Inside the Private World of the White House, told NPR's Here & Now:
"The Truman Balcony was something that was really controversial at the time, and now it's one of the most beloved parts of the White House for the president and their family to be sitting outside looking out on the South Lawn."
"[Truman] wasn't going to take no for an answer, but he did go through the channels to get approval for this renovation. And we're not seeing President Trump do the same thing."
Priya Jain, chair of the Society of Architectural Historians' Heritage Conservation Committee, told NPR:
"In the list [of White House renovations] issued yesterday, if you look at it closely, all the changes after 1942 have been limited to the interior."
"And the ones on the exterior either involved simple restoration or minor site additions like the tennis court and the pavilion, which are limited by their scope, size and visibility to have any negative impact on the historic building."
People appreciated Daniels' post and stance.
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Demolition crews began wrecking the East Wing of the White House on Trump’s orders to make room for his ballroom to the dismay of preservationists and historians and a majority of Americans.
Brower told NPR a case could be made for expanding entertaining space at the White House, but:
"I don't think that it has to be of this size and scope, two football fields big and larger than the White House itself."
Unless it's just about making a very small man feel really big.
TikToker Hilariously Identifies Exact Brand And Shade Of Eyeliner J.D. Vance Wears In Resurfaced Video
But Casey was on the case.
She said:
"Eyeliner is fine for men to wear. I have no problem with that, Republicans do. And I question whether their vice presidential candidate is wearing eyeliner."
Showing some different shots of Vance, she pointed out that Vance wears eyeliner during television appearances—his official portrait shows him without eyeliner—and noted that "something is going on here," adding:
"That is a bold line just a few millimeters over and he’ll have a proper cat-eye on his hands. We’re fine with men who wear makeup. What we’re not fine with is hypocrites who make … harmful policies against men who wear makeup.”
"I'm pretty sure I found his shade and it says everything you need to know about JD Vance."
The brand of eye pencil: “Urban Decay Desperation," which is apparently a “deep taupe-gray matte."
You can watch the video below.
The replies on the original video are no less hilarious and on point today.
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Of course, politicians often wear makeup for their television appearances—but people have needled Vance for a longtime because he's had it out for drag queens, capitalizing on the GOP-led "groomer" hysteria that drag queens are sexualizing children.
Still, one wonders whether Vance—who has been caught dressing in drag in the past—is jealous of the way drag queens wear their own eyeliner. His can never compare.
Single MAGA Women Complain That D.C.'s Conservative Dating Scene Lacks 'Masculine' Men—And We're Cackling
But the left can't in theory bear responsibility for the "death" of traditional masculinity—a ridiculous notion in and of itself—given that MAGA women who spoke with reporters say they're not at all inspired by the MAGA men around them.
According to Morgan Housley, who was among several right-wing women who lamented to the Washington Post the challenges of dating in Washington, D.C., the dating pool remains sparse despite the number of young MAGA loyalists working in the administration.
The majority of D.C.'s residents voted for former Vice President Kamala Harris in the last election and Housely said it doesn't help that the MAGA men who are available are:
"Not fit, workaholics and not taking finding a wife seriously.”
She added:
“I felt like, being in conservative politics, there would be more, like, masculine men in the conservative movement, and I find that a lot of them aren’t as masculine as I would have hoped.”
Quite the confession.
The Washington Post
Meanwhile, a MAGA woman named Natalie Winters told the New York Times that the guys she’s met actually aren't into women at all:
“The funny thing is, I had a lot of girlfriends who wanted to move here,” she said. “They thought the dating scene would be really great, that MAGA would bring in a whole wave of, like, you know, eligible, conservative, smart, enterprising men.”
"Everybody's freaking gay."
Oh dear.
And people couldn't help but crack jokes.
The dating pool in D.C. also suffers because liberals largely refuse to date people they believe support fascism—and could have supported or even attended the January 6 insurrection, the day a mob of President Donald Trump's supporters attacked the U.S. Capitol on the false premise the election was stolen.
Susan Trombetti, CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, noted:
“I have a really open guy, and they’re like, ‘What? He’s a Republican?’ And automatically they go to: ‘Did he go to the insurrection? Did he attend the insurrection?’”
(Fascist) actions have consequences.