Married People Divulge How Often They Actually Have Sex With Their Spouse

"12 years of marriage..."

"12 years of marriage and 17 total years together. We usually have sex about 2-3 times a week."

TheRaistLine

It sounds like you're both very into each other. It's great to see!

"If we are busy..."

"If we are busy with work, then it's once every other week. When we're on holiday, off work or have a low work period, 2-3 times a week."

laugh-if-you-agree

It happens. As stated before, there is an ebb and flow to every relationship and the amount of sex you have will fluctuate due to work and other commitments.

"Based on..."

"Based on 409 data points over 6.5 years, every 5.8 days."

summers_last_sunset

This is quite specific.

Very specific.

But it sounds like you have a healthy sex life.

"If it were up to me..."

"Usually 2-3 times per week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Primarily depends on her. If it were up to me it’d be multiple times daily."

AffectionateBody523

She's probably glad it's not up to you, ha!

"Used to have..."

"Used to have a very healthy sex life. Currently have a 12 week year old child. We occasionally refer to him as 'our cute c*ckblock.' So yes, at the minute, almost never."

haveyouseenmywetsuit

At least you both have a good sense of humor about the whole thing!

"Sometimes life..."

"Together 13 years, married 5. Sometimes twice a day, sometimes twice a month. Sometimes life gets in the way, sometimes we can't get enough of each other."

NotMeButMyCat

As you do. Ebb and flow. If you can still be that into each other after all that time, then you're doing something right.

"We have a good time."

"Been living together 4 years, married for 2. Usually 3-5 times a week, depending on how we're feeling. There's some fluctuation based on hormones and overall wellness, and some based on time of year, but very seldom less than 3 times a week."

"We have a good time. We've been working from home together since the pandemic, and we have significantly more sex just due to proximity. Honestly, the pandemic has been a net positive for our relationship, weirdly enough."

Cadwaladur

The pandemic has not been a total negative for everyone. Many relationships have thrived.

"We've been married..."

"We've been married almost a year (still newlyweds I guess) but we've had sex 5 or 6 times so far this year. Yes. It has been two days."

PagingDrLecter

Well, you both certainly know how to keep busy. You're both rabbits!

"We have agreed..."

"Married twenty years. We have agreed on once week at a minimum, with kids and jobs etc we often agree on a time several days in advance. Sometimes more often, but never less than weekly."

LucyDog17

Hey, if it works, it works! You get points for consistency.

"I have a son..."

"Married for 19 years. We haven’t had sex in almost 2 years. I can’t bring myself to it. She cheated and I stuck around for my kids and I’ve been unhappy for years. I have a son graduating this year. I don’t want to ruin his senior year, but when he’s done I’m done."

sepapu

Sorry to hear you're dealing with this. It sounds like you have a plan though – and you'll stick to it.

"Since the second kid..."

"Since the second kid, sex has fallen off a cliff. I think we've had sex maybe 7 times since the birth last May. I actually have a mental checklist to know if she'll have sex or not. If a single box isn't checked, I don't even try."

Remnonaldo

The real question is: Does this work for you both? If it does, then you'll move past it eventually. Every relationship has its bumps.

"I've never really had a high libido..."

"I've never really had a high libido, when we got married sex was new and exciting, now it's still good, but we have a 14 month old and I'm tired and don't like the clean up... but I'm trying because a healthy sex life actually improves our relationship."

randalotti

It sounds like you're both invested. It'll work itself out.

If you're currently having lots of sex with your partner, enjoy it. If you're going through a bit of dry spell, don't fret! It happens. People change, their bodies change, their moods change – how you both adapt to these changes makes all the difference.

Have some info of your own to share? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!