Twitter-user Hannah Priest suggested that the Tim Allen Christmas fantasy family movie from 1994, The Santa Clause, is actually "the most horrific film" on an epic Twitter rant.
The writer of medieval and contemporary pop culture asked followers this question before launching into her argument.
The film that spawned a trilogy had a good-intentioned premise. Scott Calvin, played by Allen, inadvertently disables Saint Nick by causing him to fall off the roof on Christmas Eve. So instead of Christmas expiring over the folly, Calvin and his son Charlie finish Santa's delivery route for him, and upon winding up at the North Pole, the family man is officially appointed as the new Father Christmas. Cute, right?
Priest, however, saw through the film's jolly veneer. "I'm not talking about what happens to Scott Calvin & his transformation into Santa. Or the fact that SCII belongs to the 'Santa Finds a Wife' subgenre, which is always creepy as hell," she wrote.
Priest reminds us of Calvin's transformation, but that's not the creepy part. "To recap, when Santa falls off his roof, Scott Calvin puts on his suit & instantly becomes the new Santa. It's all fun & frolics, and the elves explain that this is the Santa 'clause'."
"The creepiness begins early on, because the roof-Santa actually dies on screen (quite slowly) and that's the only reason Scott can take on the role," she tweeted.
Priest noticed that the denizens of the North Pole respond to the death of Saint Nick with an icy and dismissive reception.
She continued, "None of the elves at the North Pole mourn the dead Santa. Bernard just refers to him as 'the other Santa' and shrugs it off. They just cold-heartedly accept that roof-Santa is gone, and now they work with Scott. It's not just humans though. Elves disappear after hundreds of years, and NO ONE cares."
Not everyone was on board with Priest's take on the movie.
But the terror isn't exclusive to the first installment of The Santa Clause. It plagues the sequels as well.
Priest is only getting started. "In SCII, Curtis & Bernard discover the 'Missus Clause,' which dictates that Santa must be married. They'd never heard of this before & the Council of Legendary Figures also know nothing about it."
According to the character of Curtis, the efl known zilch about this mysterious clause after working with Santas for over 900 years.
Priest talks about the "Hall of Snow Globes" from The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, where the room holds 50-60 globes representing the lives of Santas past. "60 Santas over the history of Christmas means that the average life expectancy for a Santa is just over 33 years. Some of them will have lived at the North Pole for much longer."
And here's s bizarre mystery revealed in Santa Clause 3. In this universe, Santas are fertile.
Here's a nightmare-inducing implication.
Yikes!
Could another sequel be far behind?
People admired Priest's imagination.
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