Embarrassing things happen to us all the time, but how horrific is it when they happen in front of someone you're dating?
As mortifying as it seems at the time, many married couples have a "remember that time..." funny story to share.
Reddit user Sideways_Turd asked:
"Married people of Reddit: What is the most mortifying thing you did that your spouse overlooked while you were dating?"
Loose Lips
"We had been dating long enough that marriage had been discussed but not engaged yet. I have a thing about symmetry that he was at least somewhat aware of at the time, but maybe he didn’t know the extent of my quirkiness."
"We were talking about rings one night and I mentioned the symmetry thing and how I hated the wrap-type wedding rings that go around a solitaire engagement ring because the ones I had seen on friends that were engaged at that time didn’t look visually balanced to me."
"He started laughing, but wouldn’t elaborate on why that was funny."
"A month or so later he proposed. I said yes. And then he pulled the wrap-style wedding ring out of his pocket and said 'this is why I was laughing when you said you hated wrap rings. I had already bought it, but we can go pick out a different one'."
"I felt horrible, and in that moment I also knew I would have loved that wrap ring knowing he picked it out for me. But he took me to the store and we got a different wedding band and I’ve worn it for nearly 25 years now."
"He will never let me forget that I HATE wrap rings, though! Man, I wish I’d learned to listen more and talk less earlier in life."
~ HeatherCPST
Plumbing Issues
"Early on, I spent the night and overslept the next morning. He had already left for work and I took a big morning poo."
"Ended up clogging the toilet. There was no plunger and I was late for work so I ran off and eventually worked up the courage to text him about it."
"He bought a plunger on his way home and.. took care of it."
We’ve been together eleven years now."
~ halfblooded
Foot In Mouth
"Early on while dating I was late to dinner with her at her house. She said I was late to everything and I stupidly said 'I'm never late for important things!'."
"Been married almost 15 years and she still makes fun of me for that one."
Accidents Happen
"We'd rented a house that had a one lane driveway. We were always switching our vehicles to not block each other. One afternoon I moved my car up and went to park his truck behind it, the truck was a standard and l was not an expert."
"Long story short, I hit the back of the car with the truck. I quickly looked at the window and sure enough he was looking out and had seen what happened."
"I stayed sitting in the truck for a while and finally decided to face the music. All he said is we should try to not beat our vehicles against each other and dropped it."
"We'll celebrate 43 years this year."
~ birdwatcher1981
Not Amused
"We went to an amusement park and one of the rides suddenly made me very nauseous. I tried to hold it in, but it didn't work and I ended up vomiting."
"The unfortunate part was that it was one of those giant spinning swings and he was directly behind me and got a good dose of it all over him. He cleaned himself up, and took me home while having to keep pulling over to let me out to continue being sick."
"We've been married 13 years and I don't go on amusement park rides anymore!"
~ Kanadark
Habitual Offender
"I farted on the first date."
"A few weeks later I laughed so hard I got a fettuccine noodle stuck in my nose and had to excuse myself because I couldn’t breathe."
"A few weeks after that… I smacked his cousin’s boyfriend’s ass really hard. They looked similar from behind."
"18 years later, I’m still an embarrassment."
~ dirtandstarsinmyeyes
Sinus Cleanse
"Not me, but my loving husband. In the very early days of dating, we were waiting out a rainstorm on a walk in a Mexican grocer."
"Walking around and looking at all the imported items, he picked up a bottle of men’s cologne/aftershave. I leaned in to give it a smell as he squeezed the sides of the plastic bottle to waft the smell for me."
"But he squeezed too hard. And it shot straight up my nose and down my throat."
"It was so startling. And so awful. And all I could smell for HOURS was cheap aftershave."
"Still married the doofus."
~ TheRoyalShe
Really Stepped In It
"When he introduced me to his parents, I was nervous enough already. When we got into his parent’s car to go to dinner, I was hit with a very unpleasant smell."
"I thought maybe one of his parents had an accident or something, like maybe they had on some Depends or just didn’t shower for a week."
"No one said anything in the car—total awkward silence."
"When we finally get to our destination, I step out of the car and my foot slips. I had unknowingly stepped in fresh dog poop right before getting in the car and during the ride had managed to grind it into the carpet."
"My man cleaned that poo up for me. It took some years, some alcohol, and singing karaoke before I felt like his mom finally accepted me."
~ LastCenturyModern
What A Mess
"Had a few beers not realizing they were 10% alcohol each—this was completely my own poor judgement and not paying attention. Threw up twice in the toilet and once in the bathtub in his apartment—managed to throw up in my own hair all three times."
"He cleaned it up three times, washed my hair all three times, combed it out. The third time he found my anti frizz spray and French braided it."
"We got married 4 months ago and have been together 5.5 years. He’s the best!"
~ xoSMILEox92
Crime Scene
"Heavy, heavy, heavy period overnight. Woke up to a near crime scene."
"Worse yet it was a hotel room."
"He was totally cool and didn’t even blink twice. Never brought it up again either."
~ aceituna_garden
The Joke That Didn't Land
"I was in my first year of work after law school. I was working around the clock, was super sleep deprived, and had basically no social life."
"He took me to a party with a bunch of his burning man artist friends. They were going around the circle, talking about their current projects—sculptures, textile art, all kinds of really cool things."
"I was feeling out of place and kind of lame and also was just so sleep deprived and tired that my social compass was off. When it became my turn to share, I blurted out, 'all I make is money'."
"I was trying to be self-deprecating and funny, but you could've heard a pin drop, the way that joke went over. I still cringe 15 years later!"
~ LyndaCarter_
🤢🤮
"We weren’t even dating yet, we had hung out a few times in a group and he was driving me back to my sister’s place in his sweet new car, and I threw up everywhere."
"I tried to open the window first, to throw up out the window, it did not work, I threw up on the window, and the door, and myself, and his soft gray leather seats."
"When I tell you that my beloved husband of 20 years is a neat freak and a perfectionist that is an understatement."
"Knowing him now, I can’t believe he ever spoke to me again. I can’t believe he cleaned all of that up and still proposed six months later."
~ Mushrooming247
Oopsy
"Ripped a noxious silent fart in the grocery store as we were checking out. His face went white and started grabbing the grocery bags pretty fast."
"He goes, 'we gotta get outta here. Someone farted and it smells really bad'."
"He took off walking really fast and I started laughing so hard, I couldn't keep up. He didn't turn around until the parking lot, saw me laughing, says, 'that was YOU!'."
"Together 17 years, married almost 10 years."
~ thisthingwecalllife
Snooze...
"My wife is a snoozer—she hits ths snooze button an easy dozen times before moving. This one morning the alarm goes off and she smacks it, but it doesn't turn off."
"She hits it again. Still not shutting off."
"She really just starts smacking the sh*t out of the alarm. Still going off. She sits up to realize two things."
"It's the trash truck backup alarm, and she'd been slapping my head the whole time."
~ Muppet0242
Butter Fingers
"First time this woman has me come and meet her folks, they order pizza and when it shows up I go 'Oh, I got it' and I DROP THE PIZZA as soon as I close the door."
"Everyone is quiet for what seems like an hour, and then at the same time, her dad, older and younger brothers all start laughing/crying. I thought her dad was gonna have a heart attack."
"To this day the guy says he’s never laughed harder and he’s like 90."
"30+ years and these people have their kids still making fun of me."
~ Curious_Working5706
What stories do you have?
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