There's no one way to successfully raise a child.
Tons of books on parenting are available to offer guidance and they are suggestions drawing on different experiences and perspectives.
But who needs books? Not all the answers can be found in them since every situation is different.
Raising children successfully is typically achieved by first-time parents who fake it 'til they make it.
When it comes to talking about the birds and the bees, that's one topic that both parents and prepubescent children tend to be very evasive about discussing.
Sometimes "the talk" is awkward, but other times, it is extremely successful.
Wanting to highlight the positives on the topic, Redditor babyyyylilith asked:
"What is the best sex-related advice your parents ever told you?"
First starters, Redditors normalized various sexual situations.
Unbridled Urges
"My parents didn’t want to have the talk with me so they had our family friend do it. He said and I quote 'your body is going through a lot of changes and your going to get urges to do some weird sh*t. It’s all normal. Unless you are like rubbing dead puppies on your body, then come see us for help.'"
– FireFromThaumaturgy
Dirty Magazines
"When my dad caught 13-year-old me with a Playboy. I was terrified, but he said not to worry, it was normal to be curious. Then he said the wisest thing: 'Just remember, most women do NOT look like that.'”
– First_Drive2386
Dispensing With Stigma
"Honestly, I don't think that having 'a' talk or 'the' talk is the best idea, anyways. My wife and I have raised a pretty amazing young man, and we've never had 'the talk.'"
"We've simply never been afraid of the topic, and have never avoided it (while being proactive here and there as well). So over the years it's been a subject that comes up, and we discuss it just like any other topic."
"I feel that this is a much better idea than building up to a huge moment for 'the talk.' Doing this this just makes it a huge deal that will embarrass you and your child, teaching them that sex is shameful, even if that is not your intention. Besides, how can you cover everything in a meaningful way with only one talk?"
– TomEdison43050
There is a thing as sex etiquette.
Hygiene Matters
"To take a shower before it."
– hoorhay_ng
"and after too."
– Bill_ra16
"My father used to say:"
"Remember, It is better if you take a shower every time you are going to have sex."
"Just before it or just after it?"
"No son. Just instead."
– rmdf
A Medical Expert Weighs In
"Not my parents, but awkwardly and unexpectedly, my family doctor:"
"Teenage boys and even early 20-something men are horny, barely know what they're doing, and barely remember to wash their balls. Don't even let them touch you unless they show through their actions that they genuinely respect you, care about you, and like you as much as you like them. And even then always use a condom no matter if you're on other birth control because babies aren't the only thing you can pick up from sex. And never get with a guy who's hounding you for it."
– blickyjayy
Parents continued being very open about the topic.
The Result
"My dad held up my baby bro and told me that if i wasn’t careful this is what would happen lol"
– Immediate_Sense_2189
"if you're not careful you'll have another baby brother"
– IceFire909
Father Knows Best
"My dad gave me a sex talk when I was in my teens that pretty explicit about how a woman’s body needs attention and time to be ready for sex."
"He also gave me a book called 'the guide to getting it on.' And suggested I read it and he’d answer any questions."
"By the time I was having sex, I felt very confident about how it worked and how to make women feel good."
"I’ve tried to keep building up my skills and knowledge over the years - different courses and books."
"Partners have always been complimentary. I can thank dear ol’ dad for that."
– TheGameForFools
A Woman Backs Up
'how a woman’s body needs attention and time to be ready for sex.'
"As a woman, this is seriously good advice. Too many men learn how sex works from porn and get this inaccurate idea that women can just GO. We need time and prep work. You wouldn't start your car in the winter and automatically expect the geater to blow warm air, women aren't hot immediately either."
– StaunchMiracle15
Mother Knows Best
"My mom: 'Sex is great, but it's absolutely never worth compromising on your values or your self-respect.'""
Directly followed up with"
"Walk away from any guy who tries to pressure or intimidate you into doing stuff with him. Don't waste time with guys who think they're entitled to your body. Don't fall for shallow flattery and be manipulated. Just walk. You are not missing out on anything. "
"As kids, my mom always taught me and my siblings about being compassionate and kind to other people as well as being responsible and honest and respectful all those things parents try get into their kids' heads to help them turn out right. I was 14-15 when my mom sat me down and impressed on me that not everyone in the world has good-hearted and respectful intentions, and that I need to keep this especially in mind when it comes to how people act when romance and sex come into the picture."
"It was a new layer to the lessons she gave me growing up and I took it to heart. It's advice that has served me very well."
– SiliconeCarbideTeeth
Supportive Mom
"My mom: You know what people who practice the pull out method are called? Parents."
"In all seriousness though, my mom answered any questions I had and even helped me get a doctor's appointment arranged when I decided I wanted to be on the pill. I'm eternally grateful that she made it easy to go to her for any questions or advice"
– NightDreamer73
Importance Of Open Conversations
"I was almost exclusively interested in women (as a woman) for my late teen years, so a lot of the time my mom's advice and open conversation seemed irrelevant to me, but it meant so much to me that she had such an open conversation with me about sex and questions that didn't seem important until I started dating a man and told her 'hey I'm gonna sleep with a guy let's talk birth control ' and she immediately booked me an iud installation. Open comfortable conversation with mom is so important, it really sets the tone. If my mom hadn't been pro sex and talk id definitely be a whole a** mom by now."
– whoales
For many parents, teaching their kids about sex is such a taboo subject, and it shouldn't be.
The more the topic is stigmatized, the more it can be confusing for a child going through puberty and feeling shameful about the changes they're experiencing.
That was me. I can't say for sure if it's a culture thing, but sex doesn't seem to be something Japanese parents comfortably talk about with their kids.
This is way off topic but the tentativeness around discussing sex in Asian cultures is fascinating to me, because many depictions of sex in erotica in various forms are some of the most wildly perverse and imaginative visuals I've ever seen.
It's not a stretch to think that Asian pre-teens learn more from anime and manga about sex than from their parents.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, you might want to do some research into some of these very graphically suggestive illustrations.
It's a wild journey down the rabbit-hole.
@RandyRRQuaid/X
@realDonaldTrump/Truth Social
