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Redditor Accused Of Bullying After Excluding 'Neighborhood Snitch' And HOA Board Members From Neighborhood BBQ

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Purchasing a home is a milestone for many adults in the United States.

It's a sign of growing up and a major accomplishment.


But the responsibilities involved in owning that home can be less than glamorous, including the HomeOwners Association (HOA) many find themselves stuck with upon getting their keys.

A guy who lives in one such community is in a unique situation. He purchased a home from owners who had not opted into the HOA contract.

As such, he had the choice whether or not to join upon purchasing the home, and opted out as well.

It's probably a little awkward around the neighborhood at times, since there are more than 100 homes and this guy lives in one of only 10 that are not included in the community's HOA agreement.

He signed onto Reddit as "Mental-Doughnut" and shared one of his recent HOA nightmares—during which he was accused of bullying—in the "Am I the A$$hole?" subReddit.

He explained first some of the conditions of his neighborhood, including the severity of the surrounding HOA.

"There's around 10 houses in my neighborhood of 120 that are not in the HOA, mine included. We (or previous owners) were smart enough to not join the HOA. As a result, i am able to make extensions and I have a pool, [where] I host neighborhood parties occasionally. My HOA is one of the worst HOAs, constantly fining people hundreds of dollars for parking violations, painting their fences the wrong shades of brown, wrong color curtains, having 2 flags etc. They're not the worst HOA but they're bad."

Not only does the surrounding HOA have high standards, but he also has one of those neighbors who likes to stick their nose everywhere it doesn't belong.

"We also got a s**tty neighbor, Jessica, who likes to go around and snap photos of people's violations and then post it on the next-door app to shame them. She prides herself in this, thinking it makes the neighborhood better when she shames the Smiths for having a fence thats 2 inches too high, or the Johnsons for having light brown door instead of a dark brown door. Jessica is a f**king c*nt, she's probably cost neighbors thousands of dollars in fees or forcing them to renovate."
"I absolutely lost my s**t when Jessica posted in the next door app about how Mrs Jenson (85 year old woman, currently having serious medical issues) has a lawn thats a couple inches too high. She obviously can't mow the lawn and was too busy to notice. The HOA then fined her 500 dollars."

Angry to see his neighbor's constant posting on the Next-Door app, he decided to do the same, which is also where his bullying label got started.

"I made a post in the next-door app[,] saying that the suburban fascists on the HOA nor Jessica were invited to my BBQ at my house. Jessica went on a [rant] saying how much of a angel she is and how she protects the neighborhood doing her duty and I told her she's a low life scumbag busybody and is a pathetic loser with nothing better to do."
"A couple people said I was bullying and excluding her, and like 4 of her friends are 'boycotting' my party and hosting their own party. The party happened and nobody else showed up to theirs and ours was a blast. She apparently cried over it."

Despite making some over-the-top comments on the Next-Door app, the Reddit user believed he was right to exclude the terrible neighbor and her HOA friends. But he turned to the AITA subReddit for a second opinion.

The Reddit thread grew overnight, boasting more than 1.7 thousand comments. It got to the point one of the "Am I the A$$hole?" moderators actually turned off the commenting function to redirect traffic to other posts.

The comments were made up primarily of support, stating they were happy the Reddit user stood up against the negative effects of the HOA.

No one even mentioned bullying as a possibility.

"Not The A$$hole (NTA) people like her are the worst for neighborhoods, glad you don't tolerate that s**t." - DontBeTeenGrandpas
"doing the lord's work." - niqolas1
"If Jessica was as neighborly as she likes to pretend she is, she would have noticed the elderly neighbor's grass growing too tall and organized the HOA members to take turns maintaining the lawn until the neighbor was recovered from the surgery. Ya know, like a community that looks out for each other. Instead she decided to use the HOA as a weapon" - LadySmuag
"NTA. We didn't even have an HOA, and this busy body woman would go around snapping pictures and writing violations down, and then she would email or call the city about it. She reported trash in my yard on pick up day when there were high winds. I got a notice left on my door, and it wasn't even in my yard when I got home."
"I called, and told the person on the phone that. She told me they have a woman in my neighborhood that is constantly calling and emailing. She suggested I take her cookies to get on her good side. No f'ing way am I rewarding that behavior. I did not get fined."
"I caught her in my yard trying to measure the distance of the tree branches from the ground and ran her out of my yard by telling her she was trespassing, and I was calling the cops. I yelled at her and was not nice about it." - sisterfunkhaus

Others used the thread as an opportunity to talk about their own HOA horror stories, confirming again that living in a community with an HOA is totally possible and doable, but often it's a real headache.

"When my dad was first diagnosed with cancer, our HOA demanded we repaint the front of our house, power wash the driveway, and fix the railing on the porch. I wanted to spray paint a middle finger on the house, but my extended family came over and we all did it in a day. HOAs are basically s**t." - speechlesshann
"NTA, as someone currently living in an HOA, they are the devil. We've been fined becaause someone snitched on us leaving our trash cans out after trash day, and almost got another because we had weeds in our front yard (because our neighbors can't be [asked] to remove theirs). Your neighbors deserved it lol..." - Scrabulon
"Grew up in a HOA neighborhood. My parents bought a hot tub and leaned it against the side of the house until we could get help bringing it to the backyard (house built into a hill) and the HOA fined them for "livestock on the premises" because they assumed it was a chicken coop. They would also go around the day after trash day and fine people for having their trash can out still or parking in the street for more than 3 days." - apathetichic

Though it could be argued the guy could have phrased his Next-Door app post in a better way, people noted he did what he did as a way of pushing back against an aggressive system.

Which should be a clear message to anyone who works or volunteers for an HOA.