Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Not Telling Guy She Was Dating That Her Daughter Is Biracial After He Made A Big Deal About It

Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Not Telling Guy She Was Dating That Her Daughter Is Biracial After He Made A Big Deal About It
eyecrave via Getty Images

Racism against mixed race people is pervasive.

Mixed race people often encounter prejudice from all sides, being told that they don't belong to any community.


So when you encounter that prejudice, as a parent of a mixed race person, how do you respond?

Redditor AmarieMaresca81 wanted to know if there was something wrong in the way she dealt with a potential partner's prejudice.

She went on the popular subReddit "Am I The A**hole?" or "AITA" and asked:

"AITA for not telling the guy I was dating that my daughter is biracial?"

She began with how she met the guy in question:

"I started dating this guy I met in January of this year. We went on a few dates here and there, but nothing serious. In March we all went into lockdown, so he and I just texted back and forth, spoke on the phone, and video chatted. Our restrictions just started to lift here and I was really liking this guy, so we decided to hang out and go on a hike. After the hike, we went back to his place to watch a movie and have dinner."

date flirting GIF by Baby DriverGiphy

When the conversation turned to their kids, his prejudices became clear very quickly.

"I was at his place for a couple hours, and we started talking about our daughters. He also has a daughter who is close in age to mine. He had never met my daughter because I don't bring men around my child unless it's a serious relationship. He began showing me pics of his daughter, so I did the same."
"When I was swiping thru pics of her, he asked me if she was mixed. I told him yes, and that my ex husband is black. He then started telling me that I should've told him this in the beginning."

And then he decided to go for a healthy dose of gaslighting:

"I didn't understand because I've never experienced this before. I've always been upfront with the few guys I've dated that I have a child, but I never thought it was important for me to make sure to add that she's biracial."
"He started saying that he didn't think he could go on dating me because his family is very against interracial dating, and they would never accept him dating someone with a child who is mixed. He kept saying over and over that I should've told him because now he's hurt because he really liked me."
"I ended up going off on him and left."

Eyeroll Reaction GIFGiphy

Though he's been trying to make nice, our original poster, or OP, wasn't in a forgiving mood.

"He's been texting me to apologize and trying to call, but I just ended up blocking him. I told some of my friends and family members about this, and the response has been about half and half."
"Some say I should've told him, while others say he's the a**hole. I haven't dated much since my divorce, so now I'm wondering if this is something I need to tell a date right away."
"I don't get it, and I don't think I did anything wrong, so I'll let u guys be the judge."

Redditors decided who if anyone was wrong by declaring:

  • NTA - Not The A**hole
  • YTA - You're The A**hole
  • ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH - No A**holes Here

Most everybody agreed it wasn't OP's job to anticipate her date's racism.

"NTA, frankly I'd be put off if I was on a date and I asked: 'hey do you have any kids?' and they said 'yes, she's 7, she loves my little pony, and she's biracial' I'd think that's weird. He has a super-specific situation in which that was relevant."
"Edit: Sorry guys, I was taking him on good faith that his family was just nuts. Not everyone has the option/resources to just cut toxic family members off. Obviously, if he has a problem with her daughter being biracial personally, he can go F**K himself."
"I'm just taking it as he found out this super cool lady he liked had a kid that would be abused and disrespected by his toxic racist family if he chose to pursue a relationship. Either way she's NTA."~StumbleBee42
"NTA. And honestly? Dude was a racist."~KCELESTINO

Schitts Creek Reaction GIF by CBCGiphy

"NTA NTA NTA you dodged a bullet."
"'He started saying that he didn't think he could go on dating me because his family is very against interracial dating, and they would never accept him dating someone with a child who is mixed.' He's enabling his family's racism instead of standing up for it, which is causing him to act racist as a result."
"'He kept saying over and over that I should've told him because now he's hurt because he really liked me.' He's not hurt because he really liked you. He's hurt because he's experiencing cognitive dissonance between liking you and pleasing his family. He recognizes that he can't do both, so he chose his family over you."
"The race of your CHILD shouldn't matter at all to the person you're dating. If it does, all the more reason for them to self-select themselves away from you."
"'I ended up going off on him and left. He's been texting me to apologize and trying to call, but I just ended up blocking him.' GOOD."~Genidoxian
"NTA. Using this guys logic, he should have let you know in the beginning his family was a bunch of ignorant racist sh*t heads"~twix0731

ineedthisforreactions GIFGiphy

Racists always seem to put the fault on the other person.

"NTA. It's important to disclose information that could potentially impact a future partner. The only reason this information would impact a partner is if that partner is a racist a**hole."
"So, in that sense, maybe it would have been a good idea to disclose that information sooner so you could have blocked him and moved on before wasting so much time on him."~bethfromHR
"NTA and bullet dodged. Even putting aside his racist family, this is a guy who expects you to manage his emotions for him including from before you ever knew he existed. Fly and be free, OP."~RainyDayWeather
"NTA. The only thing you needed to tell him was that you have a child. Who cares if she's mixed race? The answer; only a racist. You did the right thing by blocking him, especially when he put the guilts on you and made it plain his family are a whole bunch of racists as well."~Pebbles220619

racist wonder showzen GIFGiphy

"NTA. You've disclosed the important stuff - like the fact that you have a child. Why would it even be something you'd think to disclose what race your child is? You should guess that he or his family is a racist? Ridiculous. You were right to block him."~milee30

The consensus that OP was not at fault was overwhelming.

Hopefully in future she finds better people to share her life with.

*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*

The book Dating and the Single Parent: * Are You Ready to Date? * Talking With the Kids * Avoiding a Big Mistake * Finding Lasting Love is available here.

More from Trending

JD Vance; Jen Psaki
Johannes Simon/Getty Images; Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Vance Gets Brutal Reminder After Accusing Jen Psaki Of 'Attacking' People For Praying Following School Shooting

Vice President JD Vance was criticized after he lashed out at MSNBC host Jen Psaki for saying that "prayer is not freaking enough" to end school shootings after a shooter killed two children and wounded 17 others during the first week of classes at Annunciation Catholic School in Minneapolis.

Psaki spoke out on X shortly after the shooting occured, to stress that "thoughts and prayers" don't actually address or prevent mass shootings and gun violence overall:

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @andydouglas.trumpboy's TikTok video; President Donald Trump
@andydouglas.trumpboy/TikTok; Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

Video Of Little Boy Sobbing After Finding Out Trump Is A Real Person Goes Viral—And We Totally Get It

Whether it was Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or some other important facet of childhood, most of us found out when we were kids that something we loved did not exist, and it was absolutely devastating and world-changing.

But imagine there being something that you deeply disliked or feared, only for you to find out that it actually exists on the same plane and in the same timeline as you.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @originalsugarphly's TikTok video
@originalsugarphly/TikTok

Woman Stunned After Best Friend Of 23 Years Ends Friendship Over Her 'Mom Shorts'

We will all have friends who come into our lives for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime. There are those situational friendships, like from work or school, that dissolve when we exit that space, and there are friendships that might form from knowing the same people.

Then there are those tried-and-true friendships that we think will truly stand the test of time—but even those sometimes fracture under pressure. And sometimes for the most ridiculous reasons.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @nurse_xtina129's TikTok
@nurse_xtina129/TikTok

Woman Sparks Debate By Putting Out Small Fire At Dunkin' Donuts After Workers Ignored It

Imagine hitting that afternoon slump and seeking out your favorite caffeinated beverage: a highlight in an otherwise dumpster fire kind of day. But then you arrive at your coffeehouse of choice—and there's literally a fire.

TikToker Cristina Conklin was waiting in line for a beverage at Dunkin' Donuts in Warwick, New York, when she became either a villain or a hero, depending on who was watching her TikTok video.

Keep ReadingShow less
Former Republican congressman and Fox News host Trey Gowdy
Roy Rochlin/Getty Images

MAGA Fumes Over Fox Gun Control Talk

The nation is reeling after yesterday’s mass shooting at Annunciation Church in Minneapolis, where a gunman opened fire during a Catholic school Mass, killing two children and injuring more than a dozen others. The tragedy has not only shaken the community but also reignited the national debate over guns in America—this time sparked by an unlikely voice.

Former Republican congressman and Fox News host of Sunday Night in America, Trey Gowdy—long seen as a staunch defender of gun rights and a past recipient of National Rifle Association contributions—surprised many of his own allies when he called for a national reckoning on firearms access.

Keep ReadingShow less