Are we all meant to be monogamous?
Does true love mean only one sexual partner for life?
These questions have been at the love forefront for quite some time.
There are so many people testing polyamory and joining the swing set.
But is that something you have to want from the beginning or can lean into later?
Some partners are discussing it seriously.
But how would you respond if your partner brought up the subject?
Redditor mysterywife901 wanted to hear people's thoughts on opening their relationship status, so they asked:
"What would you say if your spouse said they wanted to try swinger lifestyle?"
Reddit was ready to rock and work through this thought experiment.
Try It
Old People Senior Citizens GIFGiphy"I would laugh my senior citizen @ss off and tell him to go for it, but the viagra stays home."
Careful-Self-457
Pull On
"I'd know she was pulling my leg; she is even less of a people person than me."
primal_machine_22109
"You would be amazed at how many shy women are into the lifestyle."
Island-Potential
"But what if it’s someone else’s leg… their third leg!"
SeveralEmployer
For the Marriage
"I would laugh and laugh, as they would never say anything like that to me seriously. 'Hey, you know what, I'd really like it if my intimacy issues gave me a lot more stress and anxiety, what's the absolute worst situation I could put myself in.'"
SaltyDangerHands
"I hope you're actively working on your issues and getting better. For your marriage."
PicanteDante
"I'm not sure what about that you're taking so deadly serious, but they're not my issues, they're my partner's, and the whole comment is tongue in cheek. The whole point is that the idea of cheating would stress them out immensely, that's... that's not a huge problem for a relationship in which neither party wants to cheat."
"I'm honestly not sure if you're insulting me or genuinely wishing me well, but in either event, I assure you it's not necessary."
SaltyDangerHands
“This One”
"I’d be interested in discussing it but cautious. I don’t believe anyone can fulfill someone else’s complete set of curiosities and desires and I am not a codependent type who sets all my expectations of happiness on someone else’s shoulders."
"We could identify what she wanted out of that lifestyle. How frequently. How we’d handle things if there was any change of heart or jealousies. Basically just communicate and explore."
"I’m into a relationship to help each other have the best life possible. Not to be 'the one' who has the expectation of being everything I dream them to be."
darinfjc
Good Luck
beyonce queen GIFGiphy"Help them pack their bags. I'd even help them load the bags in the car, and give them a hug, and tell them, Best of luck, because they're going to need it."
TripleAWingingIt
It certainly isn't for everyone. But communication and boundaries do seem to be key.
Contract Change
Sign Here Go Ahead GIF by Kat DurstGiphy"Tell her our relationship was not built that way. You can't switch up the terms after you are already in. If we had started this way then I am for it. After we have been living as if we both want to be monogamous? Nah. I can just go be with other people without her baggage."
vivazeta
What?
"I'd be very confused. My husband is open minded in the sense that whatever consenting adults want to do in their relationships is fine, but he has no doubt that he only wants a monogamous relationship. I'd wonder if maybe he'd been hit in the head."
Potential-One-3107
Let's Chat
"When she brought it up I said let’s talk about it. We talked through it for several months and decided to give it a try. It’s only been about 6 months and our relationship is better than ever. The communication we are experiencing as a couple is amazing, she is more my best friend than ever before. We have a complete open and honest relationship now."
tbed64
YASSS!
"Lessf**kinggoo! I mean 'sure honey, let’s try it out.' The wife and I communicate well. I’d be open to discussing it. We’ve had threesomes before. Communication and setting clear boundaries is key. The moment either one of us is uncomfortable or not cool with it, we both stop and Chuck it up as an experience we won’t be repeating. I’m not the jealous type and after 15 years of marriage have a solid foundation."
WindowlessCandyVan
Who are you?
What The Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"I'd wonder who replaced my wife with a robot. She's got a very strict moral system and couldn't imagine doing something like that. Actually, neither could I."
Totalherenow
Now This?
"If they want to see other people they can just tell me they’d like to break up instead. No need to be so roundabout in telling me I'm no longer good enough."
"Why be in a relationship if you don’t want to be exclusive? That’s the whole point, unless you’re doing some kind of arranged / immigration marriage there was never any love in to begin with."
Yukisuna
If you're gonna do it, make sure you communicate and set some ground rules.
Well, dear reader, how would you respond in this situation? Let us know in the comments.
