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In light of Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra's five-day wedding extravaganza, writer and podcast host Ahmed Ali Akbar took to Twitter to flip the script on all those folks asking why the couple celebrated the wedding the way they did.
Customs and traditions only seem strange when they aren't your own, but if a critical eye were turned around, would our customs not appear strange too? That's just what Akbar did when he introduced a series of hysterical tweets questioning traditional American wedding customs.
With the Priyanka/Nick wedding, probably good time to revive this thread https://t.co/Yt6mvDXQv6β ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1544042102.0
me @ an american wedding cont'd: ok so why does the dad give away the daughter does that mean like he owns u and u didnt choose thisβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469559232.0
me @ an american wedding part 3: ok wow thats crazy in my culture we wear colors it's so weird you only wear black and white so weird wowβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469559329.0
me at an american wedding part 4: *arrives 2 hours late* how is this over already this is bullshitβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469559362.0
me @ an american wedding part 5: so what's the deal with the cake cutting, like why do only the couple feed each other where are the auntiesβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469559417.0
me at an american wedding part 6: lelelelelelelelelelele father of the bride: hello yes fbi, i saw something i am now saying somethingβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469559593.0
me at an american wedding part 7: can you buy me a dress from macy's i just love all the beautiful colors and fabrics you guys wearβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469560850.0
me at an american wedding part 8: no i will not tell the dj to play punjabi mc, debbie. *mundiyan to bach ke comes on* me: OHOI BRRAP BRAPβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469568777.0
me @ an american wedding part 9: why is everyone tapping their glasses with their forks wait debbie what ar- NO DEBBIE YOUR DADS HERE STOPβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469570274.0
me @ an american wedding part 10: *arrives 20 min late* where are all the guests debbie: this is everyone me: there are 11 people hereβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469570925.0
me @ an american wedding 11: walter: dude. it'd mean so much for you to be a groomsman me: what's that also whose shoes do i need to stealβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469571334.0
me @ american wedding 12: it's wonderful to be surrounded by debbie's family her aunt: it's beautiful debbie has colored friends me: whatβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469571625.0
me @ american wedding 13: *text* im running late can i bring you guys anything from cvs debbie: its 10 pm ahmed everyone has left me: darnβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469571949.0
me @ american wedding 14: i love learning about all your beautiful traditional ceremonies, like the reengh exkange. am i saying that right?β ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469572226.0
14 addendum: debbie: it's pronounced ring exchange and also i wouldn't call it "traditional" me: rain exchang debbie: sure close enoughβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469572280.0
me @ american wedding 15: omg i love all the intricate patterns on your wedding cake! can u do my slice with like a lightning bolt or bongβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469572693.0
me @ a american wedding 16: so is it traditional for the dancing to be so awkward? is there some symbolism because this is just so new to meβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469574091.0
me @ an american wedding 17: are u going to 'toast'? this is my first white wedding but ive done a lot of research and U HAVE TO include meβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1469575873.0
me doing a toast @ an american wedding 18: how does this ritual work? this is my first white wedding. oh? your culture is so plain i love itβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1498757221.0
me @ an american wedding 19: so i know in ur culture individualism is rly important. so uh if u had a arranged marriage would ur dad kill u?β ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1498885958.0
me @ an american wedding 20: so where's the chai debbie: uh we have wine? me: what kind of fucking wedding doesn't have chaiβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1498922368.0
me @ an american wedding 21: it's so weird to me u do one-day weddings. how can u possibly stand hanging with family for less than 3 days???β ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1509132834.0
me @ an american wedding 22: so where are ur cousins? i met ur college friends already debbie: i didn't invite them me: um excuse me whatTβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1509133795.0
me @ an american wedding 23: *to the bride's father* i didn't have time to ask, but it looks like the dress code waβ¦ https://t.co/GdzbS5CQlGβ ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1544042985.0
me @ on the dance floor at an american wedding 24: *square dancing to jay-z* YEEE HAWWW I LOVE AMERICANS.β ahmed ali akbar (@ahmed ali akbar) 1544043100.0
See, it all makes perfect sense!
Of course, many people loved this thread:
@radbrowndads Genius.β Sumita Pahwa (@Sumita Pahwa) 1544042256.0
@radbrowndads this leaves me cackling ever timeβ Sara Alfageeh (@Sara Alfageeh) 1544042831.0
@radbrowndads Ahmed, you are a treasure and we donβt deserve you.β Art A. (Freelance Copywriter) (@Art A. (Freelance Copywriter)) 1544097978.0
And some agreed with the sentiments expressed in the thread:
@radbrowndads Hahah I died. I am african and recently took my American friend to an African wedding. Let's just sayβ¦ https://t.co/dTmZTPFU2Bβ Chido (@Chido) 1544072917.0
@radbrowndads Thank you for this thread! It made my day! I have the same thoughts too! Just switch where are the auβ¦ https://t.co/PuykLZFw1Pβ Esther A Molina (@Esther A Molina) 1544070918.0
But all in all, weddings are about two people who are in love expressing it in front of everyone they love, and it doesn't matter what traditions are and aren't practiced (or if there are any traditions in the wedding at all).
H/T: Ahmed Ali Akbar