Here's a little life secret: You cannot make people like you. They just won't. It's much easier to be yourself and weed out the people who actually do like you from everyone else.
You'll thank yourself later, trust me – and you'll be in much nicer company. Forcing other people to like you–or shall I say TRYING to force other people to like you–is very much a waste of time.
There are all sorts of other habits we could afford to get rid of. We heard more about them after Redditor WishyouaMerry asked the online community,
"What did you finally realize was just a huge waste of time?"
"When I was only playing..."
"When I was only playing a game to fulfill the dailies and not actually having fun playing anymore."
JustAnotherExLurker
It's quite funny how easily we lose ourselves in this stuff. Games can be very addictive.
"Crushing..."
"Crushing on this girl I knew."
radiationporn
Definitely not worth it, especially if you know it's not going to go anywhere.
"Living..."
"Living in the past."
sseh2112
Ouch.
How dare you attack all of us like this.
"Trying to please..."
"Trying to please somebody who clearly did not care about me."
New-Oil6131
When you deal with people like this, run in the opposite direction. Glad you learned.
"Arguing with people..."
"Arguing with people on the internet. Most people will not change their minds if they are firmly set in their beliefs."
ghostiesontoasties
This is true. My experience online has been nicer since I stopped.
"Prioritizing..."
"Prioritizing my job over my actual happiness."
heyiknowachris
Many of us make this mistake. No one dies wishing they had spent more time at work.
"Trying to moderate..."
"Trying to moderate my drinking. Quitting completely was so much easier."
DeathSpiral321
Congratulations!
Quite the achievement. You should be proud.
"Being in a romantic relationship..."
"Being in a romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t take responsibility for their mental health and uses it as an excuse for bad behavior."
_chopped_liver
Believe it or not, many of us can and have been that person. Growth is important.
"Dissecting other people's psychological make-up..."
"Dissecting other people's psychological make-up as a way to understand why they treated me like sh*t. I've learned it’s better to take people's actions at face value sometimes and just cut my losses and run."
thegirlupstairs13
What's that saying? If someone shows you who they are, believe them? Yeah, that.
"Don't stick around..."
"Waiting for people to change. If they do sure, cool. Don’t stick around wasting your time waiting for a tomorrow that’s 5 years from now."
Upstanding-Human
This is very important – don't ever wait for people to change. You're only sacrificing your own mental health and happiness in the interim.
"It very quickly became..."
"Duolingo."
"It very quickly became a 'just don’t lose your daily streak' and a 'just stay on the leaderboard' thing for me. I started focusing on courses in languages I was already proficient in just to keep up."
"I took a step back and went back to the language I set out to learn. I realized that it was really only teaching me to read. I couldn’t learn to listen to a different language when it’s spoken by robots, and without critique on my pronunciation, I’d never learn to speak it properly."
Sleepless_Jai
If you've never considered italki, it might be worth checking out. On-demand language lessons with an actual speaker would be a godsend.
Want some cold hard truths?
You're going to change over time and you should embrace it. It is a waste of your time to hold on to who you once were. Growth is attractive.
Also, some of your friends? They should be "former" friends. Trust – you'll be much happier.
Have some advice or lessons of your own to share? Feel free to share with us in the comments below!
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Judd Legum (@juddlegum.bsky.social)
@SenTinaSmith/X; @elonmusk/X
@smith.senate.gov/BlueSky
@elonmusk/X
@mcrs987/X
