Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Japanese Teppanyaki Restaurant-Goer Horrifies The Internet With Tale Of Puking On The Chef's Grill

Japanese Teppanyaki Restaurant-Goer Horrifies The Internet With Tale Of Puking On The Chef's Grill
Paul Biris/Getty Images

There are, of course, myriad ways our human bodies surprise us, humiliate us and outright betray us.

We hear about crazy tales of crisis-driven superhuman strength all the time, and who among us hasn't found ourselves suddenly racing for the bathroom out of absolutely nowhere...and maybe not making it.


Truly, our bodies are nightmares that will shiv us in the figurative ribs and destroy our dignity at every turn. But is there anything worse than being in public and just launching the contents of your stomach out into the room with no warning and no control? Any shame greater, any humiliation more burning hot?

Turns out a Redditor recently discovered the answer is very much YES THERE IS, and it is: puking directly onto a chef's grill in front of other patrons at one of those Japanese show-off restaurants.

Giphy


Redditor u/JackieeFriday posted her story in Reddit's "Today I F**ked Up" (TIFU) subreddit, which the site bills as "a community for the dumba** in all of us." As of this writing, it boasts some 15.1 million "f**k ups" and, well, safe to say u/JackieeFriday's is one of the all-time worst.

The story is titled, "TIFU by puking on a stove/grill in a Japanese performance restaurant," and, as u/JackieeFriday puts it:

"The title is as bad as it sounds, and I think my life is ruined..."

And, well... it's hard to argue with that.

See, u/JackieeFriday wasn't feeling all that well when her family decided to go to Kabuki, one of those traditional Japanese Teppanyaki restaurants--you know, where you all sit around a communal grill with other patrons and the chef does tricks with the food and the knives and you ooh and ahh and usually there's some kid celebrating her eighth birthday or whatever. Just a normal night out.

So she soldiered on, like you do. But then...

"When we got in there I immediately felt sick. All the cheering at the chef performers and the overwhelming smell of fish."

Giphy

And she was really hanging in there like a champ! Until–for some unknown reason, as is usual with puke–the scallops hit the grill.

"I don't know why but when they put the scallops on the stove, there it came, the puke. I started feeling hot and saliva filled my mouth, I then said something reluctantly to my family members like "uhh I'm not feel- there it came."
"As I was trying to talk I clenched my fists and the thought of scallops couldn't leave my head, and then mid sentence, puke just goes out as I leaned against my chair."

Oh God oh God oh God there's nothing worse than when you're JUST TRYING TO ALERT PEOPLE and your body is like:

Giphy

There is no greater cruelty in the human condition. Anyway, naturally what happened next was basically pandemonium.

"Oh sh*t oh f**k oh god, it took me a second to realize what happened but when I did, I looked up and everyone was saying something and backed away from the table. The chef was yelling something in Japanese to his coworkers..."

Giphy

Extremely, wildly gross pandemonium.

"...the most horrid smell filled the air. It was a smell I can't even explain. Almost like a mix of puke and diesel."

Giphy

So how did this all end? The only sensible way, u/JackieeFriday assumes.

"After that I'm sure they just burned the place down..."

Giphy

A harrowing tale, to be sure! And, naturally, u/JackieeFriday's fellow Redditors had plenty of thoughts.

"I often don't truly mean it when I say it, but I'll make a special exception for you: You done f**ked up.
I can already imagine the smell... By the gods, no..."
--u/DolfK
"I can't even imagine what cooking puke smells like." --u/secretreddname
"You know those embarrassing situations that pop into your mind right before you're about to fall asleep? Yeah, this is going to be one of them." –u/DRUNKEN_MONKEY
"You know how they say no one but you remembers those situations after a while? This is not one of them" -- u/slightlyspecial
"This is one they make you relive over and over in hell" –u/Vectorman1989

As well as some equally harrowing personal puke stories.

"I imagine it to be something like the time when I, at 13 years old, had a stomach bug and unexpectedly puked against the dorm wall from my top bunk... from where it ran down the wall and onto/into an electric socket, where it started sizzling..."
"Of course, I didn't care much at the time, but soon enough I want the only one incapacitated by extreme nausea... heh." –u/TheAlmightyProo
"I once threw up on a group of 3 ladies in a bar (on the table, they got splattered a little). I then proceeded to throw money at them, and I'm talking coins here, while begging them for forgiveness."
"I'm just glad I was extremely drunk and my memory of it is hazy. That's not a memory I want haunting my sleep."u/Salohacin

And, of course, there were jokes!

"KaPuki™" u/nutbusterX
"Sorry for the inconvenience but Kapuki has been closed due to health violation"u/JackieeFriday
"Teppan-yucky." u/3rdDownJump

So what is the moral of this story? Listen to your body, sure. But also if you puke in public it's probably best to just Molotov cocktail the place and hide in the house for the rest of your life, haunted by the scent of your cooking barf.

Giphy

Sorry, those are just the rules!

More from Trending

Donald Trump
Mehmet Eser/Middle East Images/AFP via Getty Images

Trump Demands 'Boss Of AT&T' Fix Equipment After Failed Conference Call In Bizarre Meltdown

When most of us have technical difficulties, we contact tech support or customer service.

But if you're President of the United States, just ranting on social media—then having your White House Press Secretary post a screenshot of your post on a social media platform people actually use—is apparently the answer.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Lauren Boebert speaking to Alex Stein
Prime Time with Alex Stein/Blaze Media

Lauren Boebert Casts Doubt On Moon Landing During Wild Interview With Conspiracy Theorist

Colorado Republican Representative Lauren Boebert was criticized after she seemingly agreed with the conspiracy theory that the moon landing was faked in a wide-ranging interview with conservative conspiracy theorist Alex Stein.

The segment began with the duo casting doubt on nuclear weapons—Boebert even joked about needing "tin foil"—and moved into weirder territory when Stein praised Boebert for "vibing" with him on the topic of the moon landing. Conspiracy theorists have long alleged the moon landing was fabricated by NASA in what they claim was an elaborate hoax.

Keep ReadingShow less
Rosie O'Donnell; Oprah Winfrey
Simon Ackerman/Getty Images; Ernesto Ruscio/GC Images

Rosie O'Donnell Calls Out Oprah For Attending Jeff Bezos' Wedding In Scathing Poem

Among the various celebrity hangers-on who attended Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez's Venice wedding, the one that seemed to generate the most controversy was Oprah Winfrey.

After all, a woman known for her progressive politics whose entire ethos is about teaching people how to be their best selves, attending the wedding of man who directly funded a fascist regime dismantling our country before our eyes doesn't exactly add up.

Keep ReadingShow less
Lisa Murkowski
Kayla Bartkowski/Getty Images

Lisa Murkowski Slammed After Criticizing Massive Budget Bill She Just Voted For

Alaska Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski was slammed after she claimed that President Donald Trump's One Big Beautiful Bill is "not there yet" despite casting the deciding vote to narrowly pass it before sending it back to the House.

In a marathon voting session, the Senate narrowly passed the legislation in a 51-50 vote, with Vice President JD Vance casting the tie-breaking vote after three Republicans joined all Democrats in opposition.

Keep ReadingShow less
Woman listening to her boyfriend play guitar
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Things People Initially Found Attractive About Their Partner That Now Annoy Them

Being in a relationship can be wonderful, but it's not without its ups and downs.

In order for it to work, we have to allow it to grow and change over time rather than being locked forever into what it was when we first started dating our person.

Keep ReadingShow less