Sex. Let's have a frank discussion.
Most of us have it. And many of us have had it with several different people over time.
That shouldn't be a difficult truth to discuss.
So let's talk numbers.
Do we all have a number that is too high to accept from a partner?
Are the numbers none of our business as long everything turned out fine?
Reddit had some thoughts.
Redditor LaRata59 wanted to discuss everybody's past sexual history, so they asked:
"Does the amount of sexual encounters your partner has had matter to you? Why or why not?"
If you're willing to be intimate with a partner, you should be open to having difficult conversations.
Keep Quiet
Amy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"I don’t mind, but ten minutes after sex I don’t want to hear your last girlfriend was 24 when you’re 42. Or hear how awesome sex was with your ex-wife, or how great sex was in Guam with your ex-girlfriend."
amscraylane
Painful Partners
"I would care only because my wife and I have been together since high school and we both should have 1 partner each... each other. So if that's not true it would be a problem."
TreesusChrist47
"Same here but 4 years a go my wife had a brief affair and I'm still struggling to get past it since we are still together (of sorts)."
jimbojetset35
"Me too. I found out 2 years ago. I think about it every day, I’m definitely not past it. We are still together and have been for 18 years. It has really destroyed me."
makerofshoes
I was convinced...
"So long as they haven't run through my entire friend group, I don't care."
"A few years ago, I started to worry about a girl in our friend group that I suspected of having an eye on my boyfriend at the time. I expressed that to him, and he reassured me of the fact that he had several girlfriends and that he was not attracted to her anyway."
"She was single and she liked to party a lot. He concluded by telling me 'anyways that girl, she slept with all my friends.' I was convinced. Well, guess what, he's now married and has two kids with her."
non_brad
Who Cares?
Eddie Murphy Whatever GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphy"As long as the count doesn't continue increasing during the relationship, it doesn't matter at all. I have a past, too."
Odd-You-6869
Who cares? Carry on...
Be Silent
not listening stephen colbert GIFGiphy"No but also don't want to know, so I never ask."
Male-37-Hi
"Yeah, as long as you're clean and not comparing me to past lovers. Also, I sure as f**k don't want to hear about them. I'm very visual, so I'm not trying to picture your previous sexcapades, thank you.
Wednesdayofthewoods
'wild period'
"I was seeing a girl that had a lot of guy friends. It would come to light that she had slept with all of them at one point. Co-workers, long time friends, boyfriends of her girlfriends etc. It's unnerving socially to know that so many people in the social circle you're joining has been with the person you're trying to have a relationship with."
"It would also come to light that she had a 'wild period' where she would hook up with 3-4 random guys in a week. I thought it was in the past so I looked the other way. But things like trauma, dissociation during intimacy, trust issues, bad boundaries with the opposite sex, judgment over your own sexual appetite etc were all becoming an issue."
"She eventually cheated while visiting family back home with someone she said had abused her physically and mentally. A lot of the times, it is a sign of someone who has serious mental health issues or very low self worth. Either case does not result in a healthy relationship and you should tread lightly."
HereToBeRated
Just Numbers
"No, to a point. To me, the past only matter in its ability to catch up to the present. If someone has had sex with 50 people but it never has a negative effect on our life together and she still enjoys sex with me, then it’s not a problem."
"However if someone has had sex with 5 people and all 5 are frequently coming back into her life and causing drama for both of us, or if she can’t enjoy sex with me due to comparing it to a past partner, then that it is an issue."
"So to me it’s not the number, but the affect of the number. With that being said, it’s not something I would ask about because typically if the past is going to be a problem there are better warning signs."
TheNatanist
Collections
"For me, a very introverted person, sex is one of the most intimate things in a relationship. And if the other person doesn't need the same emotional connection beforehand. I would feel just like another body in their 'collection.' But also I don't shame anybody partaking in the hookup culture. It's just not something for me."
justshynotathrowaway
Be Sure
Is This Thing On Bob GIF by RedbrickGiphy"It does not matter to me however I’m still be cautious of STD/STI; so I’d prefer they get tested before we have sex."
OddReputation3765
The past is the past. Maybe let it be.
